THE SOLAR ECLIPSE OF 2017 WAS A WARNING, I RESIGNED AND THEN THE SKY WENT DARK WARNING OF A GREAT WAR TO COME
MUCH LIKE THE SECULAR CORRIDOR WAR IS COMING SOON, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
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PRESIDENT D. F. W. LIBERTY LOVER has chosen to resign after a highly disappointing presidency, admitting to his many faults in a statement. We believe that this was the first time he has made us happy and applaud our President for finally doing the right thing. However, when we imagined the day that President D. F. W. Liberty Lover finally stepped down, it was not like this. As we went out to celebrate with champagne and a cake that said "Good Riddance" the sun was blocked, plunging our party and the rest of America into darkness for a full two minutes.
We reflected on what the hell was happening and realized that it couldn't be because our President D. F. W. Liberty Lover was abandoning us, and that it had to any of the other things that went on this weekend that sparked it, like the voter fraud delivering a Meltzer Driver to the concept of democracy... right?
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