Harry Parker, A Humble Farmer from Missouri

[Blow by blow, the passion dies]

Harry Parker meets suburbanites in Albany, discusses local issues
September 5, 1984

Vice President Harry Parker, who is holding a whistle-stop tour of New York, Connecticut, Rhode Island and Massachusetts, has met inhabitants of Albany, New York, and discussed the Reagan Administration's crime and economic policies.

When asked by a housewife on what the Reagan Administration would do to reduce crime, Parker said:

"We have taken lots of steps to stamp out criminality in all of America. As Chief of the Taskforce on the War on Drugs, I have worked with the President, focusing on targeting drug smugglers, growers and dealers, strictly punishing drug trafficking. This has significantly reduced narcotic use. No wonder Saturday Night Live joked about our burning of marijuana fields chuckles. The death penalty will continue to be strictly applied over the coming years – new policies might include $1 billion in grants to city police departments to make them more effective, and stricter penalties for white-collar criminals. There should be no tolerance for any criminal activity whatsoever"

A hallmark of the meetings was when a homeless man approached Parker, and criticized the Reagan Administration for "massacring the poor". Parker's response was:

"I am sorry for your situation, and our Administration has tolerated welfare programs, to a certain degree. But, the government is not the only way to help people like you. Seek help at the nearest charity – they can provide food, temporary shelter and clothes to the unfortunate. Furthermore, in the nearest future people starting new businesses will receive a negative tax"

This response has met a mixed response, with some calling Parker unemphatic for his use of fiscally conservative rhetoric to a person hurt by such policies, while conservatives praised the Vice President by his emphasis on charity as a way to help the homeless – the worse received part has been the last sentence, which is widely seen as irrelevant and a coded statement for 1988.

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Harry Parker attacks Geraldine Ferraro during Stamford speech
September 8, 1984

A few days after meeting local residents throughout New York, Vice President Harry Parker has given a speech in Stamford, Connecticut where he attacked Democratic vice-presidential nominee Geraldine Ferraro for her husband's "lawbreaking" and pro-choice stances in spite of being a Catholic (the Catholic Church is strongly opposed to abortion)

"As I said before, Walter Mondale has shot himself in the foot by choosing a Representative for New York as his running mate – what a pitiful panderer who caved in to radical feminists of all people. I agree we need more women in politics, but Geraldine Ferraro is simply not a good politician. In spite of being a Roman Catholic, she's a radical pro-choice activist... belonging to a church that strongly opposes abortion. Furthermore, her husband John Zaccaro is apparently a pornographer and mobster who violated campaign finance laws to help his wife get forward in politics. No one should vote for Walter Mondale, as that means also voting for someone who will make an awful Vice President" were Parker's words.

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Harry Parker begins tour of Minnesota
September 19, 1984

After finishing a whistle-stop tour of the Northeast where he talked to 180,000 people, Vice President Harry Parker has chose to campaign in Minnesota, Democratic nominee Walter Mondale's home state.

Many of President Ronald Reagan's advisors insist that a 50-state landslide, something unprecedented since 1820, is a real possibility; Parker has told reporters his barnstorming of the North Star State is a "step" towards that goal.

At the time of writing, Parker is addressing dairy farmers in  Winona.

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Parker gives speech in Burnsville praising economic recovery
September 21, 1984

Vice President Harry Parker has given a major speech in Burnsville, Minnesota praising the economic recovery seen under the Reagan Administration, as part of a canvassing tour of the North Star State.

Parker attributed this recovery to Ronald Reagan's policies, and said growth had benefited poor and wealthy Americans alike; while attacking Walter Mondale's proposal to raise taxes.

"In these three years, prosperity has flown to poor and rich Americans alike; unemployment, inflation and poverty have been reduced, with millions of new jobs being created – especially in the Midwest. I have worked with the President to bring prosperity for everyone in this country, and will continue to do so over the next five years."

Some have accused Parker of lying over job creation in the Midwest, which has seen an influx of jobs going overseas.

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Harry Parker gives speech in Minneapolis about crime
September 23, 1984

Vice President Harry Parker, who is holding a canvassing tour of Minnesota to promote Ronald Reagan's candidacy for reelection, has given a major speech in Minneapolis about urban crime and a reduction in crime rates seen since 1981, which Parker attributes to his and Ronald Reagan's policies.

"Since we took office, crime rates have been going down. There's no explanation other than: our Administration's policies on the matter are working! Absolutely, they are. We have strictly enforced capital punishment for heinous criminals, while relentlessly targeting drug smugglers, growers and dealers. During a second term, we might have $1 billion in grants to city police departments to make them more effective, and stricter penalties for white-collar criminals; I have to ask the President if he's ok with these"

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Harry Parker discusses farm crisis with locals in Pine City
September 25, 1984

Vice President Harry Parker has publicly met with the inhabitants of Pine City, Minnesota; he promised to work with President Ronald Reagan to address the farm crisis during their second term.

Parker said the Reagan Administration would work to import food from Mexico, Europe and the Soviet Union, while expanding agricultural credit and possibly lowering interest rates.

"The farm crisis is one of the few failures in our Administration. During our second term, Reagan and I are going to address it by fighting for imports in agricultural products – from the Soviet Union, Mexico and European countries. Furthermore, farm credit will see an expansion, and if the President allows it, interest rates are going to be lowered – with our economy recovering, there's little need for them to be high. America's prosperity is our top priority"

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Harry Parker visits Duluth, says Reagan Administration has been "very good" for the working class
September 27, 1984

Vice President Harry Parker has visited the heavily Democratic city of Duluth (located in St. Paul County, which is expected to go heavily for Walter Mondale), and given a major speech, which lasted for over one hour, about how Ronald Reagan's policies have been "very good" for working-class Americans. In the speech, Parker also excoriated Democrats for supposedly putting the poor and minorities above the middle class.

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Harry Parker finishes tour of Minnesota, begins to prepare for debate with Ferraro
October 5, 1984

After three weeks of canvassing through Minnesota, giving speeches and meeting with local inhabitants, Vice President Harry Parker has ended his whistle-stop tour of the North Star State where it began: in Winona, and how it started: Meeting with dairy farmers in the Driftless Area.

Parker has plans to immediately fly to an hotel in Philadelphia, where he has a debate with Democratic vice-presidential nominee and Representative for New York Geraldine Ferraro scheduled for October 11.

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Harry Parker participates in mock debate with Elizabeth Dole
October 7, 1984

With Vice President Harry Parker having a debate with Democratic vice-presidential nominee Geraldine Ferraro scheduled to happen in four days, he has held a mock debate with Secretary of Labor Elizabeth Dole, who played the role of Ferraro.

The two discussed Reaganomics, foreign policy, crime and the farm crisis.

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Ronald Reagan creates Farm Crisis Committee, names Vice President Parker as chief
October 9, 1984

This morning, President Ronald Reagan gave a press conference in the White House lawn, where he surprised pundits by announcing the creation of a special committee to address the farm crisis; he also said Vice President Harry Parker, a "humble farmer from Missouri" who has shown a special interest in the subject, as its chairman.

"Based on my conversations with governors and the Vice President, I have learned farmers have been faring very poorly during our administration. So, I am creating a committee to address the farm crisis, chaired by Vice President Parker – a humble Missourian farmer who understands the subject better than I do"

Harry Parker also attended the press conference. He said: "I am absolutely honored to serve in this role. As chairman of this committee, I will take urgent action to help our struggling farmers. We can't wait to get to work"

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Parker, Ferraro debate in Philadelphia; Vice President seen as the winner
October 11, 1984

Tonight, Vice President Harry Parker and Democratic vice-presidential nominee and Representative for New York Geraldine Ferraro have debated eachother in Philadelphia Civic Center. According to pundits, Parker has won the debate.

The issues discussed were abortion, crime, economics and foreign policy.

First, Harry Parker said all humans had the right to live, and that the Reagan Administration would push for a constitutional amendment banning abortion except in cases of rape, incest and threat to the mother's life. Parker also declared his support for crisis pregnancy centers to help women in need.

Second, Ferraro said abortion should be safe, legal and rare, and that the Due Protection Clause protected the right of women to make medical decisions free from government interference. She also called for government to eliminate the need for abortion through access to contraception and paid maternity leave.

This led to a shouting match, with Parker saying legal abortion is no less dangerous to illegal ones, and that the safety of a procedure "always" resulting in the fetus' death should not matter. Ferraro replied by saying women were dying "in droves", before Roe, killing the fetus with them. Parker then quoted statics saying deaths from illegal abortion in 1972 and before were in the dozens, and although Ferraro replied with "One dead woman is too many", Parker had regained the initiative, causing the moderator to move on.

Ferraro said the Reagan Administration's "disastrous" economic policies had led to an increase in crime, while saying their "tough on crime" policies were racially biased; she called for mandatory rehabilitation for drug criminals and a focus on gun control, education and job creation in marginalized communities, and the abolition of the death penalty.

Parker called Ferraro's statements "absolutely bogus" and highlighted his work as chairman of the Taskforce charged with the war on drugs; especially the tackling of smugglers, growers and dealers, and expansion of capital punishment (which Parker called a "deterrent" for heinous crimes). Parker called the idea blacks were unfairly targeted "one hundred percent false", pointing out all crime should be punished regardless of the criminal's race.

Ferraro then mentioned stories of black convicts who were executed, and the Vice President responded with "Correlation is not causation. These criminals were not killed for their race, but for their crimes'

On the next topic, Parker credited Reaganomics with the United States' "monumental" recovery over the last three years, and praised the Administration's focus on entrepreneurship and low taxes instead of handouts, which according to him keep the poor "stuck", relying on the government instead of actually growing rich.

Ferraro said Reaganomics were a "disaster" making the middle class poorer, increasing homelessness and crime, and "boosting" the national debt; she also blamed the Reagan Administration's economic policies for the farm crisis, which is "devastating" the Upper Midwest.

Parker pointed to reductions in poverty as more Americans took up entrepreneurship, and that America's debt has been growing since the Vietnam War; he also promised to "rescue" farmers as head of a commission oj the matter, by expanding credit and importing more food while fighting for trade deals with countries such as the Soviet Union and Mexico.

Finally, Ferraro pointed out the discovery of a "murder manual" written by the CIA for the Contras, and called for a "strict" adherence to the Boland amendment banning aid to them; she said the Mondale Administration would push for a nuclear freeze and impose sanctions on South Africa.

Parker said the "internal" policies of anti-communist governments did not matter to America, and that Nicaragua's Sandinista government was a "menace" to American interests in Latin America, which Reagan''s Administration had "defended", as shown by the invasion of Grenada; he justified both actions under the Monroe doctrine. The Vice President also promoted the Strategic Defense Initiative, calling nuclear freezes an act of "appeasement".

The two then went into a shouting match over Nicaragua, with Parker saying the murder manual should be investigated but did not justify leaving Nicaragua "to continue as a Soviet puppet in our backyard", and Ferraro saying the Contras were "barbaric terrorists"; in the end, the Vice President emerged as the winner by pointing out Sandinista policies towards indigenous peoples.

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Harry Parker asks Ronald Reagan to expand agricultural credit, lower interest rates
October 14, 1984

Vice President Harry Parker, who is the chair of a committee on the farm crisis, has asked President Ronald Reagan to expand Farm Credit, and order the Fed to reduce interest rates; Reagan has not responded yet.

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Reagan orders Fed to reduce interest rates
October 15, 1984

President Ronald Reagan has reacted to a request by Vice President Harry Parker, by issuing an executive order ordering the Federal Reserve to reduce interest rates by 5%; this move is meant to help farmers amidst an agricultural farmers.

Some have called it a cynical political ploy, but rural voters have responded positively

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Harry Parker holds rally for Reagan in Allentown
October 20, 1984

Vice President Harry Parker has done a rally to reelect President Ronald Reagan in Allentown, Pennsylvania. According to Associated Press, 11,000 people attended the rally.

In the rally, Parker gave a speech about the successes of the Reagan Administration ranging from the "booming" economy to a restoration of American confidence and prestige; he also promised greater action against crime and the farm crisis during a second term of Reagan.

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Harry Parker appears in Saturday Night Live
October 22, 1984

Vice President Harry Parker has made an appearance in Saturday Night Live as part of his (and Ronald Reagan's) reelection campaign.

In the show, Parker mocked Walter Mondale as putting the poor and minorities above the middle class, while jokingly talking about the economic recovery and renewal of American prestige seen under Reagan.

Some, including SNL fans, have criticized Parker.

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Harry Parker holds rally for Reagan in Albany
October 25, 1984

Vice President Harry Parker has done a rally in Albany, New York to promote Ronald Reagan's candidacy for reelection as President. According to associated press, 13,000 people have attended the rally.

In the rally, Parker appeared with Senator Al D'Amato, and gave a speech where he praised Reaganomics, attributing the economic recovery seen since 1982 to it.

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Reagan campaign airs ad about Vice President's war record
October 27, 1984

With the presidential election drawing near, Ronald Reagan's campaign for reelection has released a TV advertisement about Vice President Harry Parker's military history as an infantryman in the Italian Front.

The ad shows pictures of Parker holding an M1 Garand rifle (one has him shooting at enemies) and in the back of an M3 half-track, with a narrator saying he killed 37 Axis troops.

It ends with Parker boasting of his role in supporting the Afghan Mujahideen against the Soviet Union.

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Harry Parker holds large rally in Minneapolis
October 29, 1984

This morning, Vice President Harry Parker has flown to Minnesota, Democratic nominee Walter Mondale's home state. Soon after landing in Minneapolis, Parker held a massive rally in support of President Ronald Reagan's reelection campaign, which according to a campaign spokesman, was attended by 24,000 people.

In the rally, Parker gave a speech where he talked at length about the Reagan Administration's accomplishments in economics, national pride and foreign policy.

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Harry Parker holds rally in Duluth
November 1, 1984

Vice President Harry Parker has continued to heavily campaign in Minnesota, trying to steal working-class voters from the Democratic ticket, and thus flip the state; thus, Parker has done a rally in the Iron Range city of Duluth, where Parker said the Reagan Administration had been "excellent" for the American worker.

"Our policies have been excellent for the American worker, even more than the Democrats. By emphasizing entrepreneurship, private charity and low taxes instead of government handouts, we have lifted millions of Americans out of poverty. Democrats don't care about the middle class. They only care about the poor and ethnic minorities, ignoring the middle-class ambitions of our workers. A second term of Reagan will see even more politics in benefit of the working class"

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Harry Parker tours Northwestern Minnesota, promised action on farm crisis
November 3, 1984

Three days before a presidential election President Ronald Reagan is expected to win by a landslide, Vice President Harry Parker has began a canvassing tour of Minnesota's heavily rural Northwestern Minnesota. Although mostly Republican, the region (and the Upper Midwest) has been devastated by a farm crisis Democrats have relentlessly exploited.

Parker spoke to farmers in the region, said he was "saddened" by the "collateral" effects of Reagan's policies, and promised the expansion of farm credit and more trade deals with the Soviet Union and Mexico (including food imports).

"We in the Reagan Administration are saddened by the collateral effects our policies have had on farmers. During our second term, we are going to address this farm crisis in a rational way – the tax-and-spend approach to economics is clearly outdated. Instead, Farm Credit is going to be expanded, and we are going to fight for trade deals with our crops involving the Soviet Union, Mexico and Europe. By 1988, rural America will have mostly recovered"

[Blow by blow, the passion dies]

Harry Parker holds "huge" final rally for Reagan in Baltimore
November 5, 1984

One day before a presidential election President Ronald Reagan is expected to win by a huge landslide, Vice President Harry Parker has flown to Baltimore, where he did a final rally for the Reagan campaign. According to Associated Press, it has been attended by 24,000 people; Parker described the crowd as "huge".

In the rally, Parker outlined the Reagan Administration's priorities for a second term: curtailing crime, solving the farm crisis, and helping the Afghan Mujahideen.

"In our first term, we have done A LOT for America and her allies, more than all presidents since FDR combined. During a second term of Reagan, we are going to focus on: addressing crime by implementing grants to city police departments to make them more effective, the farm crisis through expanding farm credit and fighting for trade deals with our crops, and supporting the Afghan Mujahideen in their fight for freedom and against the Evil Empire. We will continue to fight for the American people"

Parker has already driven to Washington in anticipation of the election.

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Presidential Election held: Reagan reelected by historical margin
November 6, 1984

Tonight, President Ronald Reagan has been reelected by an overwhelming margin, winning all states but Massachusetts and the District of Columbia, and the largest electoral vote count ever. Reagan becomes the second candidate to cross 500 electoral votes, after Franklin Roosevelt in 1936.

Reagan even managed to flip Minnesota, Walter Mondale's home state, by 1,500 votes. This is likely due to the contribution of Vice President Harry Parker, who heavily campaigned for Reagan in the North Star State, trying to persuade working-class and rural voters about the Reagan Administration.

However, Reagan lost Massachusetts by 2,106 votes, in part due to the choice of Parker alienating liberal voters in the state; the Mondale campaign ran ads attacking the Vice President for his stance on abortion (shown during a debate). This likely swayed many independents in the state.

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Secretary of Commerce begins to negotiate agricultural deal with Soviet Union
January 23, 1985

Three days after President Ronald Reagan took office for a second term, US Secretary of Commerce Malcolm Baldrige Jr, Secretary of State Caspar Weinberger and Vice President Harry Parker have begun negotiations with the Soviet Union (authorized by Reagan) to import 4,500 tons of food while exporting 1,250 tons of various crops.

The stated goal is to solve the farm crisis, which Parker described as the "greatest issue facing America right now".

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I am running out of ideas again

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Pausing the TL