Opinion of Phoebe Bridgers' 'Chinese Satellite' (user search)
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  Opinion of Phoebe Bridgers' 'Chinese Satellite' (search mode)
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Battista Minola 1616
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« on: June 21, 2022, 10:22:23 AM »

My experience with faith is different enough from that described in the song that I hesitate to say it "represents me", but it is still applicable in some ways. I don't remember ever feeling like I wished I had faith but effectively lacked any spirituality, but during my teenage years I must have wished I could be religious in a structured sense but only had vague spiritual beliefs mostly centred around the cosmos and similar things multiple times (I suppose this could be called 'the same doubt one life stage higher' in Kierkegaardian terms). I have talked about that more in detail on this forum in the past:

No, it was pretty much all by myself, although I probably was influenced by reading that Orion featured prominently in many ancient mythologies. Sometimes I went on my balcony and just contemplated Orion, and secondarily whatever other stars I can see from my urban setting. Or in other moments of the year or in other places, mostly Ursa Major. I can't easily recognize any other constellation sadly. I felt a connection to spirituality in that.
As for ritualistic forms, I never went beyond taking a bow as a closure act, because everything else that came to mind felt too influenced by Christianity, and I didn't like that.
I have always been fascinated by the night sky, and am really sad that so much light pollution exists. I once even wrote a sonnet about this (it was almost certainly during the period of the aforementioned spiritual phase, but I'm not sure how influenced it was by that).

This, incidentally, was one of my first ever interactions with Ayla... ah, simpler times. Anyway, even if ever since rejoining the Catholic faith almost two years ago my relationship with religious belief is much more different, I would be lying if I said I don't still struggle with it in forms that are nothing new. The last few months in particular I've usually felt too alienated or tired or time-crunched to give space to spirituality or religion, to my despair.

Perhaps this whole thread was indeed just yet another wistful post-ironic waste of my time, and I could have read a book, made a walk or even prayed instead of writing this response... but I am glad you posted it nonetheless.
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