FT - House Committee on Un-Frémontian Activities

[WD]

I hereby move that we summon Governor KaiserDave for testimony.

[WD]

S019 will be BANNED from Lincoln if he testifies at this Wulfricist organ. I am calling on PATRIOTIC Frémonters to protest these sham proceedings bought and paid for by Wulfric to undermine the anti Wulfricist struggle.

I demand that you tell us how much Wulfric has paid you. Bribery is a serious crime, Governor.

[WD]

I would suggest that we hereby rename Portland to CASCADIAVILLE. In addition, I support the First Minister’s proposal for a open-air-facility to contain the Wulfricists, but I also suggest that they, when captured, be deported to the South.

[WD]

Egads! New evidence has recently come to light, of a dastardly conspiracy to pervert the outcomes our elections, instigated by the prince of darkness, Witless Wulfric, himself! I am informed by a highly reliable source, that he has engaged to sell his vote for sex socks —a wicked scheme, the product of his depraved mind, which holds no thing sacred.

We must preach vigilance in our communities, and in particular to vulnerable young people: just say no to socks!

“Cascadiuh” or as he’s better known, OBD, should show himself immediately before the committee. He has much to answer for.