Reassessing views due to personal experience

[If my soul was made of stone]

When I first began experiencing gender dysphoria, about six years ago now, at first I pushed back against it and became a lot more hostile and pedantic towards what little I knew of transness at the time, out of a desire to discharge the fear and discomfort and avoid showing vulnerability. At the same time, a lot of toxic TERF-adjacent opinions were beginning to percolate in a parallel strand of thought, informed by the developmental inequities between the sexes that are so evident at that age, a lack of positive masculine presences in my life, and what I would later realize was a very intense dysphoria around matters of fertility, so I was holding very dated and casually bigoted views around gender non-conformity from the twin angles of resenting my own dysphoria and intensely idolizing and fearing all of the feminine presences in my life, especially those to whom I developed romantic attachments. Eventually, a few bad experiences with female peers that reminded me that girls were people too and not all the inviolable incarnation of Isis, and contact with fellow trans people, such as my ex, helped me realize that I didn't have to view myself as inherently broken or inferior, but in some ways the biases still run deep and I'm still fighting them.