Why were there so many bad takes about Kanye West?
The Mikado:
Kanye REALLY half-assed his ballot access push. There's definitely a world in which he announces two or three months earlier and really goes balls to the wall in terms of ballot access and doesn't base his campaign message on the message of "slavery wasn't that bad" and "Harriett Tubman was awful." That's not this world, though.
The Houstonian:
The worst one was the suggestion that Kanye West would take black votes from Biden, even though he is considerably more popular among white people than black people.
Hope For A New Era:
2016 trauma. Democrats are afraid of third-party candidates now.
I spent the winter writing songs about getting better:
Quote
Please complete the following conversation in the style of a cutaway gag from the TV show Family Guy:
Brian: Remember that time Kanye West ran for president and his campaign and eventual vote total was a joke but a bunch of Doomers on the Talk Elections forum honestly believed he'd be a spoiler and flip the election to Trump?
Cutaway to a group of Doomers on the Talk Elections forum discussing Kanye's campaign.
Doomer 1: "I'm telling you guys, Kanye is going to be the spoiler we've been waiting for. He's going to flip the election to Trump!"
Doomer 2: "I know it sounds crazy, but I have a feeling he's going to pull it off. We just need to keep the faith."
Doomer 3: "I've been stocking up on canned goods and ammunition for months, just in case."
Cutaway to Kanye on the campaign trail, giving a speech in front of a small crowd of confused supporters.
Kanye: "I am the chosen one. I am the messiah. I will bring about the end times and make America great again!"
Cutaway back to the Doomers on the Talk Elections forum.
Doomer 1: "See, I told you guys. He's got this in the bag."
Doomer 2: "I can't believe it, we're actually going to win this thing."
Cutaway to election night, with the results showing Kanye only receiving a few hundred votes.
Doomer 1: "Nooooo! This can't be happening!"
Doomer 2: "I can't believe it. We were so close."
Doomer 3: "I guess I'll have to eat these canned goods by myself."
Cutaway back to Brian and the original conversation.
Brian: "Yeah, that was a wild ride. I'm just glad it's over and we can all move on."
John Dule:
Did Kanye even run a real campaign, though? Did he buy a lot of ads or spend money on voter persuasion of any kind? Did he have offices or staffers? Did he make an effort to make it to the debates? Legitimately asking, because I didn't pay much attention to his campaign-- but from how I remember it, he didn't do any of these things, and I'm sure he could've won some percentage of the vote if he'd put in some effort. His ceiling might've been really low, but the floor for pretty much any famous celebrity in this country is probably at least 2%.
More generally though, we need to stop trying to make political predictions when the prediction hinges entirely on decisions made by one individual (especially someone as deranged as Kanye West). This is why I think it's fair to bet on (for example) Arizona's or Pennsylvania's swing in 2024, but not (for example) how Trump performs in the primaries or whether Santos resigns. There is literally only one variable in the latter two scenarios, and they are entirely unpredictable for those of us who cannot comprehend the inner workings of these mens' minds.
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