Do today's college students actually introduce themselves with pronouns at keg parties?

[💥💥 brandon bro (he/him/his)]

The only time I ever have been asked to state my pronouns as part of an introduction was not at college, but at some kind of diversity seminar a couple years ago, in which everyone in the room was obviously a “cis” person.

This is... the point of people stating their pronouns. Gender orientation and identity do not always correspond to how people "obviously" look.

If I were trans or non-binary, etc., I imagine I probably would not want to draw attention to it if I don’t “pass,” especially if I was closeted about it. So I think I’d be a little uncomfortable if someone expected me to state my pronouns: Do I lie about it to avoid attracting attention to myself, or do I say how I really identify at the risk of judgmental glares and changing how people think about me?

I guess that’s just me though, maybe it’s different for others. But in this situation, I’m not even just referring to appearance. I’m referring to the fact that we all knew each other and no one was trans, unless closeted I guess, in which case see above.

That's exactly why I think this is just virtue signaling and actually potentially really harmful. If I were trans and closeted, I'd have to either introduce myself as "he/him" (and thus perpetuate further dysphoria) or "she/her" (and out myself or look like I'm just joking around.) And if I were thinking I was potentially trans but unsure, I wouldn't be comfortable identifying directly with any pronouns. Also I've heard trans people who have fully transitioned say that they're much happier just hearing people use the pronouns of their transitioned gender and reassuring them that their transition worked than having to say it themselves. And finally it makes even a lot of cis people uncomfortable (myself included) because it implies that they have to justify their gender that they've never had any issues with in their life before or whatever.

Literally nobody on this forum believes in any form that your opposition is based on any sort of principled considerations of the needs and desires of trans people. I'm not even a trans person and I'm genuinely insulted that you'd try to pretend as much.

[Santander]

I recently ordered business cards with she/her pronouns. Can't wait to use them.

I actually did do this, but I've decided to throw them out when I receive them. It'd be inappropriate to use them as a joke.

[100% pro-life no matter what]

I graduated from college 3 years ago (and am not one for keg parties), but no one ever asked me to state my pronouns.  And, I went to Vanderbilt, which might not be Berkeley, but is easily the most liberal school in the SEC.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

The only time I ever have been asked to state my pronouns as part of an introduction was not at college, but at some kind of diversity seminar a couple years ago, in which everyone in the room was obviously a “cis” person.

This is... the point of people stating their pronouns. Gender orientation and identity do not always correspond to how people "obviously" look.

If I were trans or non-binary, etc., I imagine I probably would not want to draw attention to it if I don’t “pass,” especially if I was closeted about it. So I think I’d be a little uncomfortable if someone expected me to state my pronouns: Do I lie about it to avoid attracting attention to myself, or do I say how I really identify at the risk of judgmental glares and changing how people think about me?

I guess that’s just me though, maybe it’s different for others. But in this situation, I’m not even just referring to appearance. I’m referring to the fact that we all knew each other and no one was trans, unless closeted I guess, in which case see above.

That's exactly why I think this is just virtue signaling and actually potentially really harmful. If I were trans and closeted, I'd have to either introduce myself as "he/him" (and thus perpetuate further dysphoria) or "she/her" (and out myself or look like I'm just joking around.) And if I were thinking I was potentially trans but unsure, I wouldn't be comfortable identifying directly with any pronouns. Also I've heard trans people who have fully transitioned say that they're much happier just hearing people use the pronouns of their transitioned gender and reassuring them that their transition worked than having to say it themselves. And finally it makes even a lot of cis people uncomfortable (myself included) because it implies that they have to justify their gender that they've never had any issues with in their life before or whatever.

Literally nobody on this forum believes in any form that your opposition is based on any sort of principled considerations of the needs and desires of trans people. I'm not even a trans person and I'm genuinely insulted that you'd try to pretend as much.

Well yes I explained the reason for me personally in that post itself:

And finally it makes even a lot of cis people uncomfortable (myself included) because it implies that they have to justify their gender that they've never had any issues with in their life before or whatever.

[Sestak]

Well yes I explained the reason for me personally in that post itself:

And finally it makes even a lot of cis people uncomfortable (myself included) because it implies that they have to justify their gender that they've never had any issues with in their life before or whatever.

Does it? I don't see how it's making you 'justify' anything. No one is questioning you as to why you use the pronouns that you do.

There are some arguments here that I'm open to but this just doesn't seem to make much sense to me. If anything the point here is stronger in the other direction.

[Devout Centrist]

oh hi I'm Zack, my pronouns are he/him.

Hi Zack! Thank you for sharing your pronouns.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Well yes I explained the reason for me personally in that post itself:

And finally it makes even a lot of cis people uncomfortable (myself included) because it implies that they have to justify their gender that they've never had any issues with in their life before or whatever.

Does it? I don't see how it's making you 'justify' anything. No one is questioning you as to why you use the pronouns that you do.

There are some arguments here that I'm open to but this just doesn't seem to make much sense to me. If anything the point here is stronger in the other direction.

I mean basically any "normie" cis people would be very weirded out by being asked their pronouns. I know my parents would as would my brother and sister-in-law and they're decidedly not conservative, they're just completely not used to this type of culture or hyper-wokeness in general. I'm not too sure about my youngest brother who also lives in Minneapolis instead of North Dakota and is a bit into esoteric online stuff but he's also someone I can't see being familiar or comfortable with it since it's not woke culture he's into (for background he supported Andrew Yang, works a nominally blue collar job and doesn't have a four year college degree, just a tech school certification.)

Think of some aged 50+ straight person who's now fine with same-sex marriage and probably even knows gay people and is familiar with married gay couples and yet how uncomfortable they'd be if you took them to a San Francisco pride parade or drag show or whatever, it's kind of the same principle.

I may not be "normie" like them but as noted in this thread I grew up in and developed and was entirely educated in an environment where this was never done so being demanded to do so now is a bit jarring and the implication in all gender theory lingo that I simply "identify" as male instead of "being male" when I've never granted my gender identity even a second thought is not really something I want to wade into. People who are more confused about their gender identity or are more complex in it should do what they have to to be more comfortable, I just don't want to get involved or have to change my behavior or mindset toward myself.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

God I hope not.

[SevenEleven]

Well yes I explained the reason for me personally in that post itself:

And finally it makes even a lot of cis people uncomfortable (myself included) because it implies that they have to justify their gender that they've never had any issues with in their life before or whatever.

Does it? I don't see how it's making you 'justify' anything. No one is questioning you as to why you use the pronouns that you do.

There are some arguments here that I'm open to but this just doesn't seem to make much sense to me. If anything the point here is stronger in the other direction.

I mean basically any "normie" cis people would be very weirded out by being asked their pronouns. I know my parents would as would my brother and sister-in-law and they're decidedly not conservative, they're just completely not used to this type of culture or hyper-wokeness in general. I'm not too sure about my youngest brother who also lives in Minneapolis instead of North Dakota and is a bit into esoteric online stuff but he's also someone I can't see being familiar or comfortable with it since it's not woke culture he's into (for background he supported Andrew Yang, works a nominally blue collar job and doesn't have a four year college degree, just a tech school certification.)

Think of some aged 50+ straight person who's now fine with same-sex marriage and probably even knows gay people and is familiar with married gay couples and yet how uncomfortable they'd be if you took them to a San Francisco pride parade or drag show or whatever, it's kind of the same principle.

I may not be "normie" like them but as noted in this thread I grew up in and developed and was entirely educated in an environment where this was never done so being demanded to do so now is a bit jarring and the implication in all gender theory lingo that I simply "identify" as male instead of "being male" when I've never granted my gender identity even a second thought is not really something I want to wade into. People who are more confused about their gender identity or are more complex in it should do what they have to to be more comfortable, I just don't want to get involved or have to change my behavior or mindset toward myself.

My experience is that this a generally online phenomenon, and can be quite handy for properly communicating with people who you don't necessarily get to interact with on a person to person level. For example, I'm on a few forums and discord servers that display pronouns, that way people can be addressed appropriately and comfortably. In actual person to person conversation this is generally unnecessary, but if someone does indicate they use certain pronouns, you can share yours as well if it's important to you. I find this to be far less common, though.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Well yes I explained the reason for me personally in that post itself:

And finally it makes even a lot of cis people uncomfortable (myself included) because it implies that they have to justify their gender that they've never had any issues with in their life before or whatever.

Does it? I don't see how it's making you 'justify' anything. No one is questioning you as to why you use the pronouns that you do.

There are some arguments here that I'm open to but this just doesn't seem to make much sense to me. If anything the point here is stronger in the other direction.

I mean basically any "normie" cis people would be very weirded out by being asked their pronouns. I know my parents would as would my brother and sister-in-law and they're decidedly not conservative, they're just completely not used to this type of culture or hyper-wokeness in general. I'm not too sure about my youngest brother who also lives in Minneapolis instead of North Dakota and is a bit into esoteric online stuff but he's also someone I can't see being familiar or comfortable with it since it's not woke culture he's into (for background he supported Andrew Yang, works a nominally blue collar job and doesn't have a four year college degree, just a tech school certification.)

Think of some aged 50+ straight person who's now fine with same-sex marriage and probably even knows gay people and is familiar with married gay couples and yet how uncomfortable they'd be if you took them to a San Francisco pride parade or drag show or whatever, it's kind of the same principle.

I may not be "normie" like them but as noted in this thread I grew up in and developed and was entirely educated in an environment where this was never done so being demanded to do so now is a bit jarring and the implication in all gender theory lingo that I simply "identify" as male instead of "being male" when I've never granted my gender identity even a second thought is not really something I want to wade into. People who are more confused about their gender identity or are more complex in it should do what they have to to be more comfortable, I just don't want to get involved or have to change my behavior or mindset toward myself.

My experience is that this a generally online phenomenon, and can be quite handy for properly communicating with people who you don't necessarily get to interact with on a person to person level. For example, I'm on a few forums and discord servers that display pronouns, that way people can be addressed appropriately and comfortably. In actual person to person conversation this is generally unnecessary, but if someone does indicate they use certain pronouns, you can share yours as well if it's important to you. I find this to be far less common, though.

I actually agree with that and think in hindsight it's a bit unfortunate this became a sort of "woke sibboleth" making people not into that type of culture reluctant to do so even in an online context before it became a standard convenience thing, think of it like A/S/L. In fact if you just put down something like "male" or "female"/"man" or "woman" or even throw in an "other" category for the woke crowd it probably wouldn't attract much attention in general or controversy and I wouldn't feel uncomfortable over it. But in a scenario like Dule was talking about where a bunch of cis people with blatantly obvious gender identities by appearance state pronouns or are asked to just comes across as ridiculously performative and that's exactly another reason come to think of it why I wouldn't be comfortable either, I'm just not into virtue signaling in general.

I actually don't include pronouns in any online profile of mine though because frankly I just don't care. If someone online were to assume that I was female for whatever reason and referred to me with female pronouns I'd probably just chuckle and move on, maybe correct them if it was important. But being misgendered online is not something that irks me or causes me enough distress that I feel the need to take precautions against it. I'm much more comfortable having someone accidentally refer to me as a "she" than I am engaging in this type of stuff.

(I mostly only use my Twitter account to sh!tpost against right-wing idiots anyway.)

[Former President tack50]

I've never stated my pronouns, never even seen anyone do so (not even the most #woke people!) and I sincerely hope that never gets "imported" here.

I already hate "inclusive language" which ends up as impossible to pronounce (thankfully no one really uses it in speech but it is still annoying to see in writing)

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I've never stated my pronouns, never even seen anyone do so (not even the most #woke people!) and I sincerely hope that never gets "imported" here.

I already hate "inclusive language" which ends up as impossible to pronounce (thankfully no one really uses it in speech but it is still annoying to see in writing)

It's interesting how English and Spanish are the only languages this woke craziness has impacted. Martin has kind of sucked since he took office but he was right to call it out and try to keep it from getting to France.

[afleitch]

who care

[Astatine]

I've never stated my pronouns, never even seen anyone do so (not even the most #woke people!) and I sincerely hope that never gets "imported" here.

I already hate "inclusive language" which ends up as impossible to pronounce (thankfully no one really uses it in speech but it is still annoying to see in writing)

It's interesting how English and Spanish are the only languages this woke craziness has impacted. Martin has kind of sucked since he took office but he was right to call it out and try to keep it from getting to France.

Nah, German also shows some of those tendencies. For instance, some journalists use "Sinti*zze und Rom*nja" instead of "Sinti und Roma" as term for the Sinti and Romani people (https://ze.tt/wie-sintizze-und-romnja-in-deutschland-gegen-rassismus-kaempfen/).

[parochial boy]

I've never stated my pronouns, never even seen anyone do so (not even the most #woke people!) and I sincerely hope that never gets "imported" here.

I already hate "inclusive language" which ends up as impossible to pronounce (thankfully no one really uses it in speech but it is still annoying to see in writing)

It's interesting how English and Spanish are the only languages this woke craziness has impacted. Martin has kind of sucked since he took office but he was right to call it out and try to keep it from getting to France.

Uhh, no, tedious hysterics about langage inclusif are very, very common place in French. Actually far more mainstream than in English. Like writing "les professeur-e-s sont parti-e-s" so as to avoid using a generic masculin.

The Rassemblement National along with some LR and LREM parliamentarians even submitted a bill tot he French parliament last year that wanted to ban any public funded organisation from using langage inclusif at the pains of having their funding removed. Which seems like a hell of a lot more problematic than the mild inconvenience of having to read it to be honest.

The thing about presenting pronouns doesn't work in French the way it is English because possessive pronouns in French take the gender of the possessed item rather than the possessor. So you would say "her house" and "his apartment" regardless of whether the owner was a man or a woman, because "house" is female and "apartment" is male.

[DaleCooper]

Absolutely not. Unless things have changed since I graduated a couple years ago, stated pronouns are not commonplace on university campus. And I studied literature and history, so I was constantly surrounded by liberal arts professors and I never once heard anyone ask or say anything about pronouns, or use the word Latinx, or anything like that. Though to be fair, Nebraska probably isn't the epicenter of these kinds of social developments.

I think college is similar to rural USA in that the opposite side of the political spectrum presumes it's far more monolithic and radical than it actually is.

[Ferguson97]

There is very little crossover between those who attend keggers and those who respect others' pronouns.

I have been in groups at Berkeley where people introduced themselves using their pronouns. When I'm in those situations I just introduce myself using my name and then stop talking. The awkward pause as they wait for me to say "he/his" gives me power.

Not sure if you're serious here, but if you are that demonstrates a very low level of maturity.

[Torrain]

Only in the debate society in undergrad - it was standard practice during introductions to give name, arguing position and pronouns. (Basically the student version of name, rank and serial number).

That society was still trying to recover it's reputation after a series of incidents where female, or lgbt speakers were heckled in the chamber, so they replaced the old guard with a very progressive society president, who instituted the policy. We had several trans debaters so I think it was mostly about protecting them from the society's more boorish members (think mini Ted Cruz, but with a stereotypically posh accent).

Outside that society though, it never really came up in my four years - and has not come up once during my postgrad.

I knew two non-binary students who wore badges indicating their preference of 'they/them' pronouns, but both were otherwise presenting as feminine, so I get that.

[Hope For A New Era]

Never been to a keg party, but pronouns sometimes happen during introductions on the first day of class at my college.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

There is very little crossover between those who attend keggers and those who respect others' pronouns.

But why? That strikes me as surprising because almost everyone I went to keggers with were liberals and a substantial number were LGB.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

So to clarify: Who goes to college keg parties now? Is it likely that you'd hear drunk college students screaming "F[INKS] TRUMP!" at parties back when he was in office? (Pre-Covid of course.) Or is getting plastered and drinking underage actually considered a conservative thing now?

[John Dule]

I have been in groups at Berkeley where people introduced themselves using their pronouns. When I'm in those situations I just introduce myself using my name and then stop talking. The awkward pause as they wait for me to say "he/his" gives me power.

Not sure if you're serious here, but if you are that demonstrates a very low level of maturity.

Well you see, the interesting thing about me is that you can tell I am male just from looking at me. I know it's rather unusual, and it sometimes shocks people at first, but various aspects of my physical appearance just happen to coincidentally align with my gender identity. Weird, right?