Legislation Introduction Thread

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Here's my first attempt at legislation:

Legalization and Licensing of Online Gambling Act

1. The Federal Government shall be permitted to grant licenses to online gambling enterprises based in Atlasia or any overseas territories.
2. Atlasian citizens shall be permitted to gamble on internet sites, whether Atlasian or foreign based, and banks shall be permitted to handle financial transfers to such sites that are not proscribed by the State Department.
3. The State Department shall have the right to proscribe and ban monetary transfers to online gambling enterprises in countries under sanction, or ones that are proven to have links to terrorist or criminal organizations.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Establishment of Opebo Day Act

1. The sixth of October is hereby designated "Opebo Day", a federal holiday.
2. All federal institutions are to be closed on this day.
3. This is in honor of Opebo's infamous "Max Hardcore" quote which was originally issued on that date in the year of 2005.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Prohibition of My Chemical Romance Bill

Section 1: Applicability
1. This law shall apply in all Atlasian territories

Section 2: Findings
1. My Chemical Romance's music is some of the most awful sh!t ever created with some of the stupidest fans on Earth.

Section 3: Banning of My Chemical Romance
1. No person may possess a My Chemical Romance CD, record, tape, MP3 or any other digital audio format, t-shirt, poster or any other type of merchandise.
2. Anyone in violation of this act shall be fed to a lion.

Section 4: Limitations
1. This bill shall not apply to members of the Atlasian Senate, as it contains some of the few good people who actually do listen to My Chemical Romance for who knows what reason.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Enforcement of Half Plus Seven Rule Bill

1. No marriages after the effect of this bill shall be recognized in which one party to marriage's age is less than half the age of the other party plus seven years.
2. All current marriages covered by the law will remain valid, but upon divorce or death of one of the parties, the parties will be subject to the law as anyone else.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

F**k Ralph Nader Act

1. Any existing regulations on junk food and fast food advertising are repealed and further regulations are banned.
2. All federal laws restricting gambling are repealed.
3. Any restrictions on product placement advertising are banned.
4. All current restrictions on alcohol advertising on TV are repealed.
5. Any "decency" regulations on TV and radio are repealed and further ones are banned.
6. All public schools receiving federal funds must allow soft drinks to be sold and drank within them.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Selective Education Act

1. No federal funding of any kind may be diverted to provide assistance to privately owned and schools operating for students in grades K-12.
2. This act shall be interpreted to expressly prohibit "voucher" programs and any other subsidy to private school tuition.