HARD TO FOLLOW: A new non-serious election game interest thread

[S019]

Mike Gravel will focus on Polk, Scott, and Linn County in Iowa, Hillsborough, Rockingham, and Merrimack County in New Hampshire, Clark County and Washoe County in Nevada. He will also paint Hunter Biden as a warmonger and a neoconservative and will warn Americans that if elected, Hunter Biden will not even fear to nuke Ukraine or Russia.

[VirginiaAaron]

I think a few of you have played one of my games before. So you all know that I move very quickly. After turn 3, the Iowa Caucuses will take place. So, without further adieu...

TURN 2: WAR! WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?

With campaigning heating up, the talk of war and foreign policy is taking a front seat role in the campaign to succeed The Rock. Hunter Biden takes the lead, albeit narrowly. Ms. Gabbard, Senator Gravel, and Secretary Diaz-Twine are in a dead heat for 2nd place. Meanwhile, Larry the Cable Guy continues his campaign unopposed.

DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL PRESIDENTIAL PREFERENCE POLL (OCTOBER 2019)

Hunter Biden: 25%

Vrindavan Gabbard: 24%

Sandra Diaz-Twine: 23%

Mike Gravel: 23%

Undecided: 5%

REPUBLICAN NATIONAL PRESIDENTIAL PREFERENCE POLL (OCTOBER 2019)

Larry the Cable Guy: 65%

Undecided: 35%

Endorsement Tracker:

Democrats:

Hunter Biden-

Joe Biden, father of the candidate and former Vice President of the United States

Chelsea Clinton, former First Daughter of the United States

Tom Perez, Chairman of the Democratic National Committee

Al Franken, former U.S. Senator for Minnesota

Michael T. Franken, former Vice Admiral of the US Navy and candidate for Iowa's U.S. Senator

Sandra Diaz-Twine

Debbie Wanner, former Survivor contestant from Seasons 32 and 34

"Boston Rob" Mariano, 5-time Survivor contestant from seasons 4, 8, 20, 22, and 40

Joe Barton, former Representative from Texas's 6th District

Jeanne Shaheen, U.S. Senator from New Hampshire

Rosa DeLauro, Representative from Connecticut's 3rd District

Mike Gravel

Chuck Schumer, Senate Minority Leader and senior Senator from New York

Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House and Representative from California's 12th District

Vrindavan Gabbard

Tulsi Gabbard, Representative from Hawaii's 2nd District

Bashar al-Assad, 19th President of Syria

Vladimir Putin, 2nd and 4th President of Russia

Narenda Modi, 14th Prime Minister of India

Jimmy Dore, comedian and political commentator

Republicans:

Larry the Cable Guy-

Sarah Palin, former Governor of Alaska and 2008 GOP nominee for Vice President

Marilyn Manson, singer

CREDITS:

Hunter Biden: 1

Vrindavan Gabbard: 0.8

Sandra Diaz-Twine: 0

Mike Gravel: 4.6

Larry the Cable Guy: 13

So, now do another schedule or something. This is for October-December. It's due on April 12. Make it as specific as you want. Please PM for endorsements. Please ask for interviews, it'll make your polls go up (maybe). Have fun and again, don't take this seriously.

[VirginiaAaron]

Interview with Hunter Biden

WB: Hello, I'm Wolf Blitzer, we've got a special guest with tonight with us, presidential candidate Hunter Biden. Mr. Biden, thank you for coming on tonight.

Hunter Biden: Thanks for having me.

WB: Let's get right to it, at the moment you’re narrowly leading in the polls, why do you think that is?

HB: I'm gonna struggle on this one, to be honest, there's just so much to like about my campaign. From the Ukrainian sex appeal to the accomplishments of my father to my lofty goals for this country, it's clear Americans believe in the same goals I do. And also, have you seen the opposition? There's some skeleton from Alaska who falsely believes I'm a warmonger, a Russian plant from Hawaii...why did we even admit those states, again? As President, I will eject Alaska and Hawaii from the Union and replace them with Canada and the Crimea. слава на біден!

WB: Some of your critics say that your collaboration with Tom Perez is “corruption at its finest.” What do you say to them and how will you win them over in the general election?

HB: What do you mean, win over? Who needs to win over when you can just win!? And to the naysayers, I will make it very clear - I will win. Our campaign is already running very strong GOTV operations by making it EXTREMELY easy for our voters to vote - through our innovative and forward-thinking program casting ballots for voters without them having to lift a finger! (we will continue this program in the general election) I'm electable because, as the debate shows, my ideology of українеїста-Bidenism is superior to that of my opponents, both Democratic and GOP. And, thanks to my glorious campaign staff, I am confident that I will win all 48 TRUE states! Book it!

WB: What will your first 100 days look like?

HB: The first 100 days of the Biden administration will be full of action. As President, I will take strong action against the Russian menace, by sending a video to President Putin of me t-posing and holding up a крим - українська глина sign. I will also not hesitate to t-pose on virgins like Xi Jinping, Bashar Al-Assad, and Kim Jong Un. Additionally, I will push for an infrastructure bill to build a high-speed rail from Wilmington to the White House, and to develop the state of Wyoming by building tall cool-looking glass buildings next to Yellowstone. We need economic growth!

WB: If you could say one thing to the American people tonight, what would you say?

HB: I'd like to tell them that the choice is clear - either choose Bidenism or one of four forms of destruction for everything we hold dear - as well as Republicans. And if you aren't mentally stable enough to make that choice, I have a perfect offer for you - we'll make that choice for you! We will submit a ballot for you in your state and your neighboring state's primary election. Anyway, remember this from this interview: біден неминучий (Biden is inevitable).

WB: Thanks for coming on. Always a pleasure, Mr. Biden.

Image from Wikimedia Commons

[VirginiaAaron]

Des Moines Register Questionnaire

This year, the Des Moines Register is publicly asking all of the candidates, Democrat and Republican, to answer 3 questions that everybody will be asked and two personalized questions. Whoever has the best response will earn the endorsement of the DMR.

Image from Wikimedia Commons

QUESTIONS FOR EVERYONE

1. What is your #1 priority as President?
2. What have you learned from President Johnson's 4 years in office?
3. In 2018, Special Counsel Robert Mueller indicted several key members of Donald Trump's 2016 campaign including Mr. Trump himself and his eldest son. As president, would you pardon either of the Trump's? Also, should ties with a foreign nation be disqualifying in this election?

PERSONALIZED QUESTIONS

For Larry the Cable Guy: You are currently the only Republican candidate right now. Why do you think the other prospective candidates have held out on declaring their candidacy

For Larry the Cable Guy: You have gotten the endorsement of 2008 VP nominee Sarah Palin. She recently also appeared briefly on "The Masked Singer". Would you be willing to make a campaign stop in costume on that television show?

For Hunter Biden: You frequently emphasize your "lifeguard" persona, particularly the hairy arms and legs. Why won't you shave them?

To Hunter Biden: You have been endorsed by disgraced former Senator Al Franken of Minnesota. If elected, will Senator Franken have a role in your administration?

To Vrindavan Gabbard: Some have urged you to reject the endorsements of foreign leaders such as Vladimir Putin, Bashar al-Assad, and Narendra Modi. What do you say to your critics?

To Vrindavan Gabbard: In the last debate, you threatened to "barrel bomb" anyone who questions you. Is this practical?

To Sandra Diaz-Twine: Can you elaborate on why your experience as a four-time reality show contestant qualifies you for the presidency?

To Sandra Diaz-Twine: You've served in the Johnson administration since day 1. Why do you think he appointed you to his cabinet and if elected, will the President have a role in your administration?

To Mike Gravel: Right now you, along with Ms. Gabbard and Secretary Diaz-Twine, are in a dead heat for 2nd place. What will you do to overcome the gap?

To Mike Gravel: In the last debate, you referred to your fellow candidates as "DINOs". However, in March of 2008, you left the Democratic party and became a Libertarian and stayed there till 2010. How can you convince voters that you are not the same?