Smiling John and Hillgoose's Quixotic Presidential Campaign MEGAthread

[GM Team Member and Senator WB]

why don't we just deport the incells and NIMBYs all to an uninhabited island of Pitcairn so they can build their own horrible society lmao

It’s already horrible, look up “2004 Pitcairn Sexual Assault trials” like 20% of the population was accused

[GM Team Member and Senator WB]

What is your position on furry rights?

(And before you say “hunt them lmao” I’ll have you know it’s illegal to kill a former president such as myself)

[HillGoose]

What is your position on furry rights?

(And before you say “hunt them lmao” I’ll have you know it’s illegal to kill a former president such as myself)

dude I can't speak for Dule but from my point of view as you know i am a very chill dude and like, honestly what you do in your personal time is like none of big gov's business and stuff like that you know what i mean??

[John Dule]

What is your position on furry rights?

(And before you say “hunt them lmao” I’ll have you know it’s illegal to kill a former president such as myself)

dude I can't speak for Dule but from my point of view as you know i am a very chill dude and like, honestly what you do in your personal time is like none of big gov's business and stuff like that you know what i mean??

Quite right. My plan is to sell government land in Nevada and Idaho to various freaky groups like furries, Neo-Nazis, and black nationalists, allowing them to form communes on their own private land governed by whatever laws they see fit to establish. If you want to live in a sub-national division of Furrytopia, go right ahead. So long as you guys can keep the roads paved, nothing's stopping you.

[John Dule]

https://twitter.com/JohnDule/status/1180554879850303488?s=20

[Pericles]

https://twitter.com/JohnDule/status/1180554879850303488?s=20

Did you read this article too? https://politics.theonion.com/kamala-harris-undergoes-heart-surgery-after-seeing-posi-1838752378

[John Dule]

https://twitter.com/JohnDule/status/1180554879850303488?s=20

Did you read this article too? https://politics.theonion.com/kamala-harris-undergoes-heart-surgery-after-seeing-posi-1838752378

Interesting; I knew the government had planted a chip in my brain while I was unconscious and getting my wisdom teeth removed, but I didn't realize that it was just so the people at The Onion could monitor my brainwaves and plagiarize my ideas before I even think of them.

[John Dule]

https://twitter.com/JohnDule/status/1181334804626690048

[GM Team Member and Senator WB]

https://twitter.com/JohnDule/status/1181334804626690048

he better hope he has no kids because the banks finna come after those toddlers for not payin interest

[AustralianSwingVoter]

Consolations on your extermination.

[HillGoose]

rip us we ded brah

[John Dule]

rip us we ded brah

That's what I get for having a voter base centered around people who don't believe in voting.

[Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee]

rip us we ded brah

That's what I get for having a voter base centered around people who don't believe in voting.

I have spent ten years trying to mitigate that enough to achieve some semblance of success.

[John Dule]

rip us we ded brah

That's what I get for having a voter base centered around people who don't believe in voting.

I have spent ten years trying to mitigate that enough to achieve some semblance of success.

Technically, I told everyone who supports me not to vote for me. So in reality, everyone who didn't vote may have implicitly wanted me as president. So I think I win this thing, right?