The Dance of Death - Gameplay Thread (1215)

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

TREATY OF ANCONA

Whereby the terms of the Emperor Otto IV's reconciliation to Holy Church are agreed thus:

I The Emperor Otto shall enter Rome alone and on foot for a papal audience, be shriven clean and do penance at the hands of the Holy Father.

II The Emperor will yield up the Imperial crown, the German and the Italian kingdoms back into the Pope's hands. He shall receive them all back again upon all customary conditions, after a vow no longer to interfere in Italian affairs against the Pope's word.

III The Emperor Otto shall receive the ancient Tuscan lands and honours appertaining to the House of Welf, to hold in fief from the Holy See. King Frederick and his cousins, including the future Empress Beatrice, shall receive their ancestral rights in Swabia, to hold from the Emperor Otto.

IV The Emperor Otto shall pay to Holy Church a feudal relief worthy of empire.

V The Emperor Otto shall exchange with King Frederick the Kiss of Peace and marry his kinswoman Beatrice without delay.

VI The Emperor Otto shall pledge to depart speedily upon Crusade, first in Spain, and subsequently in the Holy Land.

VII The Emperor Otto shall support the declared intention his uncle of England to release the Pope's beloved daughter in Christ Eleanor, Duchess of Brittany, to her rightful domain, and allow her Breton vassals liberty of which crown, England or France, to pay homage, or whether to stand wholly independent.

VIII Agnes of the Palatinate shall be betrothed and in time married to the Pope's kinsman Rinaldo di Jenne.

IX The Emperor Otto shall lead his forces out of Italy in good order, bound for Spain, and without intimidation or politicking among the princes of northern Italy. In Spain the Emperor is to respect the rights of all existing Christian sovereigns, especially the Papacy's beloved son the King of Aragon.

X The Emperor Otto shall understand that if he agrees to all of these terms wholly and faithfully, we shall be as amiable as we have ever been, and the Papacy will support his reforms and rights as a sovereign under God.

XI The Emperor Otto will vow to respect the existing rights of the Electors and other princes and bishops, and to consult them upon great matters. This clause is advised by the Pope in good faith as the best way to achieving the reforms desired by the Emperor.

XII The Emperor will support the King of Denmark in godly and just wars against the heathen, but not against his fellow Christians of Scandinavia. Nor shall the Emperor grant aid, comfort or sympathy to the false Bishop of Bremen.

XIII The King of Sicily or his nominee will be rewarded for his part in assisting this peaceful state of affairs by becoming Papal Vicar in Lombardy.

x Innocenzo

***

Papal Bull, Fructas Fidelis

The Republic of Venice is immediately awarded absolute possession of the presently schismatic island of Rhodes. Additionally the Doge of Venice, in the person of his podesta if required, is endowed with Papal authority by proxy to mediate in the troubles between the Emperor Henry and his vassals, in the hope that a complete peace may soon be accomplished.

Innocent III, Holy Father, Vicar of Christ, Bishop of Rome, Successor to the Prince of Apostles, Pontifex Maximus

***

The Holy Father's University at Rome

The Holy Father announces the foundation of a new university at the Vatican, under its Chancellor Cardinal Robert of Curzon. Any gifts in wealth or wisdom, silver or scholars by good Christian rulers will be eternally remembered. The institution is to flourish according to the precepts of similar seats of learning at Bologna and Paris, both remembered fondly by His Holiness.

"Needless to say, I condemn this vile "treaty" and pray that it is but a forgery spread by the pagan peddlers of deceit who seek to undermine confidence in His Holiness.  It is our hope that The Holy See would never believe that this document could have been drafted with my support.  Indeed, the so-called "Emperor" Otto has no authority to make such an agreement when he has yet to establish that the imperial crown is his to give up.  In light of these recent events and in an effort to wipe away the stain they have left upon European Christendom, I shall soon make a more detailed announcement so that the good Christians of the Holy Roman Empire may rest easy knowing that not all men are so spineless and weak-willed as the so-called "Emperor" Otto has proven himself to be.  Or mayhaps it is simply a forgery as all decent men surely pray will be proven to be the case." - King Frederick II Hohenstaufen

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

Royal Proclaim (Part 1 of 2): On the Troubling Rumors and Reports Emerging from the Holy See

"As many of you are no doubt aware, a deeply disturbing message has recently been sent from the Holy See.  Indeed, but for the source, it could have easily been mistaken for any other lie wicked men so oft spread to discredit those among us who have truly accepted Christ - who died on the cross for our sins - as our Savior.   Like any Christian, I would never presume to doubt the word of His Holiness...would that we could only be certain these were his words written by his own free will.  Indeed, for some time there have been troubling reports from the Holy See suggesting with increasing certainty that His Holiness has been replaced with a wicked, war-mongering double conjured up by some black fiend using the most infamous sort of black magic.  

And yet, I know all too well that one must be weary about such rumors, lest one fall for the cunning lies wicked men so oft spread about His Holiness in an effort to undermine faith in the Church.  Even now, I do not say that every rumor is true.  

Like any reasonable man, I was skeptical of the stories that a coven of witches absconded with His Holiness and have been acting in his name through a pig that has served as their leader's familiar.  Like most of European Christendom, I too have my doubts about the ever increasing number of rumors that His Holiness is being held prisoner after being replaced with a talking jackass sired by a warlock's wicked fornication with a she-goat; a despicable demon whose true form has been cloaked using the vilest blood magic performed using the blood of Christian children.  Indeed, credible as some such reports may initially appear in light of recent events, caution remains a vital part of wisdom and I remain steadfast in my prayers that they are false.  

Tempting as it may be to believe the rumors that a pack of common apes have abducted His Holiness and replaced him with one of their number who was granted the power of speech by Satan himself, I will not have it said that I lent credence to such tales without proof.  And yet, His Holiness may well be in the gravest of danger as it defies belief that he could have truly approved of the fallacious forgery as the latest letter from the Holy See would have us believe.  

Indeed, while His Holiness is doubtless alive, I fear there is cause to believe he may not have truly written the letter in question.  Let me be clear, for I would hate to think that I lend credence to sensationalism - even of a plausible sort - with my words.  I do not say that the man who sent the aforementioned letter is secretly a stubborn and arrogant jackass in human guise seeking to crack the skulls of righteous men with the hooves of its hind legs.  I do not say that he is actually a Paganistic pig who seeks to turn the Holy See into his private pen that he may role around in the mud, muck, and manure of Mammon whilst the true Pope is subjected to constant humiliations.  I do not even attribute such foolishness to the antics of a common ape set to some devilish purpose after sending others of his kind to abscond with His Holiness from the Holy See, plausible though some men may find such an explanation.  I will not have it said that I lent further credence to such rumors and thus ensured their entry into public discourse and pray that these rumors - credible though some may appear - are but a mere cacophony of calumnies for this would mean His Holiness is safe.    

And yet, it has become all too plain that His Holiness is potentially being subjected to the torments of a cunning pack of wicked, scheming counselors who whisper in his ear and inflict endless humiliations upon his Holiness in an effort to thwart any resistance.  Indeed, neither a Pope nor a King can make a mistake, such is the divine guidance stemming from their divine rights.  And yet the wicked words of a black and infamous fiend in wise man's robes may bring ruin to the wisest king's realm.  While I shall continue to monitor developments closely, I shudder to think of the catastrophic consequences of reckless action at a time like this.  

And so, while the times call for decisive leadership by courageous men of faith, so too do they call for prudence. I ask that all of European Christendom join me in praying that His Holiness is in good health and otherwise unmolested by the wicked advisors who plainly forged portions of the so-called treaty of which this latest letter speaks.  And yet, if events prove that this is not the case, then let every devil-worshiping heretic who has done His Holiness harm quake in their boots for they will soon learn that His Judgement cometh speedily.  

Perhaps if the Holy See were to formally request that the Kingdom of Sicily send a special delegation to conduct a fact-finding mission and root out any wicked influences that might've taken hold, then it would enable us to bring clarity to the situation.  The Kingdom of Sicily would certainly be happy to provide such a service upon request.  For now though, I pray that God will hear this humble prayer for peace and deliver His Holiness from whatever evil may be have infiltrated the Holy See.  And to those who think it impossible that such a thing could happen in so blessed a place as the Holy See, let us remember that God thought Satan beautiful mere minutes before The Fall and it took but one Judas Iscariot to betray Christ who died on the cross for our sins.  

No doubt there will be weak, wicked men who condemn my words with vulgar tongues and some may even seek to do me harm for saying that which must be said.  For them, I have but one reply: ‘Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me.’  In the name of The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit.  Amen." - King Frederick II Hohenstaufen

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

Royal Proclaim (Part 2 of 2): On the Troubling Rumors and Reports Emerging from the Holy See

"It is with a heavy heart that I say that this latest Papal Bull has lent credence to the fears of which I've no doubt are shared by all good men throughout European Christendom.  Neither a king nor a Pope can be wrong, so what is one to conclude when a Papal Bull contains a madman's multitude of crudely contrived calumnies against a righteous man?  I fear the answer is all too plain: it is the work not of His Holiness, but of wicked men of a very precise nature.  Indeed, this Papal Bull may well be a carefully coded message.  After much careful study and prayer, I believe I have been able to discern His Holiness' true meaning.  

And yet, logic dictates that His Holiness could not have meant all he said literally.  After all, if a man were to repeat a credible report that His Holiness was kidnapped by a wicked counselor, are we to then conclude that His Holiness was instead kidnapped and replaced by the very person making that charge?  Nay, for only a half-wit would make such an absurd assertion.  And surely, His Holiness is neither a half-wit nor means to imply anything of the sort about himself.  

Moreover, you will all recall that I expressed a healthy skepticism and urged caution during these uncertain and dangerous times in which in has become so difficult to know what documents are real and which are but forgeries crafted by the cunning jackal pack that nips at the heels of European Christendom in the dead of night.  If His Holiness was unaware of this fact, he'd have to be an illiterate simpleton and we all know that His Holiness is not an illiterate simpleton.  Thus, there must be a coded message in his Papal Bull.  I can only conclude that he directed it at me because his trust in my judgement was so great that he knew I would see the truth rather than reacting impulsively to that which appeared at the surface.  

Let us first eliminate the impossible.  We may safely discard every rumor of which His Holiness has explicitly forbidden us to speak.  And yet there were some rumors that His Holiness did not discount and as such, one must conclude that these were the true ones, else His Holiness would have discounted them as well.  

While His Holiness is, thankfully, capable of continuing to preform his duties and has not been kidnapped, he did not deny that there is some evil lurking about the Holy See which has persuaded some black and infamous fiends among his advisors to sign their names in the devil's book of their own wicked accord.  Indeed, His Holiness did not deny the rumors that an elephant-headed hyena-swine was recently seen whispering in the ear of one of His Holiness' advisors after the man approached the vulgar, licentious fiend of his own accord.  After all, is it not all too well known that neither witchcraft nor demonic possession has ever been required to convince weak and wicked men to sign their names in the Devil's book?  

Moreover, His Holiness made no mention of the tales that some of his advisors have been - acting of their own free will and in accordance with their infamously sinful natures - fornicating with a three-legged cow whose belly bares not an utter but the bloody lipped head of a common toad.  From his silence, one can only conclude that he took no issue with this charge.  Aye, else why would he ever permit such words to stand?  Worst of all, he did not deny that one of his advisors has gotten the beast with child after being seduced by the toad-head's promises of worldly riches delivered to be hand-delivered by some heathen horde.  

And what of the talk that one of His Holiness' advisors has of his own accord been sending messages in His Holiness' name...messages dictated by a bear-pig demon that walks upright like a man.  Some may quibble and assert that it was merely a pig-bear demon walking upright like a man, but His Holiness' steadfast refusal to deny this claim is deeply disturbing.  I fear the only logical conclusion one can draw is that His Holiness - while alive and well - is surrounded with wicked advisors and that these black, infamous fiends are acting strictly in accordance with their own sinful natures.  There is indeed a higher power that His Holiness was able to warn European Christendom thus in time.  And yet even still, I say we must weigh all option carefully for haste is a fool's favorite folly.  

In light of these troubling times in which we find ourselves and way the so-called Emperor Otto has sulked and simpered like a sniveling sycophant rather than speak truth as I have done, I shall - with the consent of all the fine, loyal, and devout Christians whom we may proudly call Electors and Princes within the Holy Roman Empire - seek to reclaim the Imperial Crown for European Christendom.  I say to you that the so-called Emperor Otto is not a man, but an Octopus.  After all, what man could be so spineless as Otto the Octopus has recently proven himself.  

As Christ who died on the cross for our sins taught us all, a house divided cannot stand.  Indeed, I pray European Christendom will unite both for the sake of Rome and to come together to aid our Christian brethren who toil under the yolk of barbarian oppression in the Iberian Peninsula.  What has been done for them?  We have seen Papal Bulls denouncing one Christian nation after the next and yet what of the Christians been subjected to endless torments in Iberia by heathen hordes?  Has His Holiness forgotten them?  Surely not and so, it must be a wicked advisor who has withheld his Papal Bulls promising material support for their cause as actions speak far louder than empty words from toothless men.  And surely His Holiness is not a toothless man whose empty words underscore his indifference to the suffering of Iberian Christendom.  

And now I shall do something which no demon, heathen, wicked man, or demonic host could do: I shall recite The Lord's Prayer: 'Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.  Thy kingdom come.  Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.'  In the name of The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit.  Amen." - King Frederick II Hohenstaufen

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

Royal Proclaim: On the Recent Papal Temptation and the Attempt on My Life

"It is a sad day indeed when His Holiness has been so led astray by those around him that he would give so little care to his words that he would make a muddled endorsement of the false faith of the Muhammadinians who are always looking for an excuse to invade and molest the holy city of Jerusalem.  I thank our Father in heaven for guiding His Holiness away from the shadow of heathen hordes and their false prophet and back towards the light of Christ who died on the cross for our sins.  All men are but weak sinners and yet one cannot say that the heart of the wicked is of so little worth that it may be written off as beyond forgiveness whilst that soul has time left to welcome Christ into his heart.  If even the most vulgar, licentious, imbecilic, sinful madman in Europe may yet be saved, is it any wonder that His Holiness was so doubtless welcomed back into the loving arms of Christendom despite briefly led astray by the burning desire for power which has turned the men around him to sin?  

And yet I urge His Holiness to look inward for there are ever more serpents slithering about in the Holy See not unlike the snake which led Adam and Eve astray in the Garden of Eden.  While His Holiness doubtless knew not of the attempt upon mine own life by the heathens who feared the truth of my words, after much prayer and thorough investigation, it has been discovered that those advisors whom His Holiness hath entrusted with oversight of the Papal banks deliberately conspired with a foreign power to send a payment to the would-be assassin whilst disguising the funds by laundering them through various unwitting Papal bankers.  While my investigation has determined that His Holiness himself had no knowledge of these plans nor did he in any way encourage them, I urge His Holiness to at least conduct his own investigation that he may see the truth of my words.  In the name of The Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost.  Amen." - Emperor Frederick II Hohenstaufen

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

His Holiness also notes with regret this fresh evidence of the young king of Sicily’s lunacy, purloining Christian capitals by surprise in the night and naming them after himself like some pagan despot of old. How can such actions be tolerated in one who has dared to aspire to headship of Christian empire?

As His Holiness is no doubt well aware, Fredericksburg is not the capitol of Aragon.  Moreover, I was as reluctant as any man in Europe to see the city renamed and yet its people demanded it, so great was their appreciation for their liberation that they may now count themselves among the subjects of Europe's Christian kings.  Moreover, it is a pity that His Holiness plainly has yet to make any inquiries into the cause of this act for if he had, he would have doubtless discovered for himself that I was not the one who struck first.  In the name of The Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost.  Amen.

Treaty of Zaragoza
1. The Kingdoms of Castile and Aragon agree to the establishment of a formal peace.
2. The King of Aragon shall remain under Castilian custody to protect him from malicious advisers until peace should ensue between the King of Sicily and the Pope.
3. The King of Aragon agrees to banish all those councilors that had deceived him into pursuing a disastrous foreign policy.
4. The King of Aragon agrees to rescind all diplomatic and military support to the Pope, and pledges to offer no further support to His Holiness while the current war lasts.
5. The King of Aragon agrees to allow Castilian troops access through all Aragonese territory, and permits them to station or garrison themselves throughout the Kingdom; in order that they may prevent forces hostile to the King from ever again corrupting royal government.
6. The King of Aragon agrees to aid and accompany the King of Castile in any war which the Castilian King participates in; so that Spanish foreign policy may never again be divided.
7. The Kingdoms of Sicily and Aragon agree to the establishment of a formal peace.
8. The King of Aragon agrees to ceded Barcelona, henceforth to be called Fredericksburg, to the King of Sicily.

x King Alfonso VIII

x Emperor Frederick II Hohenstaufen

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

"I have been - as ever - deep in prayer and have through Him gained a wisdom which I pray shall allow me to be an ever better instrument of His will.  European Christendom is nothing if not a family, for are we not all brothers in Christ?  And yet even among the closest of families, there are all too oft the bitterest of quarrels.  And yet these squabbles pale in comparison to the dangers we all face whenever barbaric bandits descend upon us.  Like any family facing a foe who has risen straight from the fiery depths of Hell, we must all unite as one for a house divided cannot stand.  I call upon all of my fellow brothers in Christ to put aside their petty power games and join this glorious crusade against the Muhammedinian menace!  

I myself shall take the first step and lead by example as any man who would call himself Emperor surely must.  I pray that by doing so, I may ensure that our Father in heaven shall take two steps toward me.  If I have made so much as a single slanderous statement about His Holiness - one claim that lacks basis in fact - I say Mea Culpa.  I do not deny nor renounce my claim, but I recognize that all of Christendom must unite against the vile barbarians at our gates!  I am thankful that His Holiness is wise enough to have recognized the wicked world of Muhmmadinian sin, greed, corruption, and avarice for what it is: the single greatest threat to European Christendom.  The wicked must not go unpunished and so it shall be for those responsible for the Rape of Rome.  As penitence for any slander I may have even unintentionally spoken against His Holiness, though the King of Aragon attempted to assassinate me, I shall cede the occupied territory back to Aragon.  And if I committed the sin of pride by renaming Barcelona 'Fredericksburg' then I now say Mea Maxima Culpa.  

I do not say that all of Egypt's Muhammadinians are savage serpents with scaly claws for fingers, forked tongues, and drool pouring down their four-fanged mouthes whenever they catch sight of a Christian child at play.  Mayhaps there are even those among you who may think you know your own decent Muhammidian who has yet to knife you in the back like the cleverest of that fiendish jackal pack which Satan did inflict upon humanity.  Some of them, I assume, are good people.  I do not even say every Muhammidinian in the Evil Empire of Egypt must die for their Godless Sultan's part in the Rape of Rome.  I merely say that they should go back where they came from and that if they won't go willingly, then it is the Christian man's burden to cast them back into the fiery pit of Hell ourselves!  

My brothers in Christ, I have heard the calling of The Lord!  The time has come to take Jerusalem back and so we shall expel this heathen horde.  Before we're overrun by these heretics, we must attack!  They raped Rome and so now we must set aside our petty political disputes and remember that we are all brothers in Christ and what is more, every one of us is his brother's keeper.  Whatever disagreements I've had with His Holiness and whomever may be at fault in those matters, it matters not at all.  We must unite against the heretical heathen hordes, avenge the Rape of Rome, and liberate the Holy Land once and for all!  In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.  Amen." - Emperor Frederick II Hohenstaufen

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

"All soldiers of the Holy Roman Empire currently stationed in the Barcelonian region of Aragon shall withdraw effective immediately.  Our purpose in launching this preemptive strike was not to become an occupying power, but merely a response to Aragon's role in my own attempted assassination.  And yet, I see the suffering of my brothers in Christ across the Iberian peninsula and have no wish to shed Christian blood when we all must join together to face our common foe.  The Crocodile of Cairo hath made the Holy See itself bleed and so all of Christendom must set aside its petty grievances for the greater good of the whole.  For do the needs of the many not outweight the needs of the few?  

I only ask for two things.  First, that there be a peaceful transfer of power - without delay upon our withdrawal from the Barcelonian region - and second that our people's may collectively regard this as the start of a new chapter between our nations wherein we set aside past conflicts.  For are we not all brothers in Christ?  While I would not be so presumptuous as to speak for him, I have no doubt His Holiness will agree that European Christendom would be best served if this conflict were brought to an end without further ill-will on either side." - Emperor Frederick II Hohenstaufen, Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire and King of Sicily