Southern Hospitality Act
Whereas, the Atlasian region of Lincoln has elected to the speakership an anti-alcohol extremist.
Whereas, the comsumption of alcohol is both a Southern & Atlasian Tradition.
Therefore the Southern Region will assist those facing hardship in the legal purchasing of alcohol in Lincoln.
It is hereby resolved that:
1. The Southern Region will set up small business grants to those small businesses selling alcohol within 50 miles of the Lincoln-South border.
2. The Southern Regional law enforcement agencies will not cooperate in any Lincoln alcohol possession investigations.
3. The Southern Region will provide a grant for new "tipsy tourism businesses"
a] Tipsy Tourism is defined as; businesses providing sober driver services to more than one passenger.
4. The Regional Anti-Drunk Driving Levy (aka the R.A.D.D. Levy) will apply to
a] Spirits @ $0.02 per fluid oz
b] non-spirits @ $0.01 per fluid oz
c] R.A.D.D levy will be used to fund the small business grants, anti-drunk driving advertising campaigns, alcoholic rehabilitation programs and rural road maintenance.
I co-sponsor this legislation, and would like it brought to the floor.