Southern Legislation Introduction Thread - 2019/2020

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

new year, new thread...

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

I am reappointing Wulfric as Deputy Speaker.

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

This Chamber holds the following about the State of Florida:
1. that it is the capital of weirdness in the South
2. that it is a place our esteemed colleague theSaint has connections to
3. that it should not be sawed off (by a fantastical rabbit or anyone else) and left to go adrift as an island in the Atlantic Ocean, and if that somehow happened then we as a region would be worse off
4. that it is home to a great many accomplished Atlasians in both past and present
5. that its biggest metropolitan area (South Florida, frequently defined to constitute Broward, Palm Beach, and Miami-Dade Counties) has a rich culture with substantial Latin American influence
6. that it is an indispensable part of the South's economy
7. that its people do an admirable job living with mosquitoes and other perils of humidity every day, and in dealing with dangers mankind confronts in most coastal areas, especially hurricanes
8. that, especially outside its urbanized areas, it is allegedly infested with alligators at every turn
9. that too many people harbor ill feelings towards it and its people
10. that we are blessed to have it in the South and in Atlasia

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

Section 1: Resolution to Expel Matthew27 from the Chamber of Delegates
Section 2: The Chamber of Delegates will hereby expel Delegate Matthew27 of Mississippi from its membership, effective immediately.

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

Title 1: Lowering black on black murder rate within the south act

Title 2: substance
2.1 The government of the south believes that the black population of our region should know the truth about their crime levels and its negative effects on their community.
2.2 All offices of the south shall work with the black community to get the current extreme black on black murder rate under control.
2.3 Based on stats they commit 50% of all murders within our region and this is 93% directed at other blacks.
2.4 The southern region shall provide 1 billion dollars for regional wide educational programs to help blacks understand the issue and to work towards solutions.
2.45 Some of this money can go towards a community organizing program to directly work with the community in an effective way.
2.5 The south doesn't want anymore blacks to die and wishes only the best for their community.

Title 3: This bill shall become law after the governor signs it.

This bill is declared frivolous. With the powers vested in me as Speaker, I declare it removed from the queue.

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

Section 1: Resolution to Expel Matthew27 from the Chamber of Delegates
Section 2: The Chamber of Delegates will hereby expel Delegate Matthew27 of Mississippi from its membership, effective immediately.

Freedom of speech my friend. I'll fight it as a free man!

Delegate "The ne*ro should have been thrown off the 5th story but instead it gets to get free room and board for 19 years" Matthew27 has the absolute right to talk as such in his echo chamber white nationalist forum, but he has no absolute right to say such and remain a Southern Delegate.

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

Section 1: Title
This bill will hereby be known as the Stellar Astronomy Resources act, or STAR Act for short.

Section 2: Provisions
1: A surcharge on municipal hotel occupancy tax for the promotion and preservation of dark skies through construction and maintenance of infrastructure that reduces light pollution and sky glow.
2: This surcharge will only apply to municipalities whom have applied for or received International Dark Sky Community designation.

Section 3: Implementation
This act will go into effect three months after becoming law.

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

The Southern Euthanasia Ban of 2020

Given that euthanasia has been delivered to those who are neither in terminal illness nor in pain.

Given that the weak and vulnerable in society should not feel pressure to kill themselves.

Given that euthanasia has been abused as a tool to eradicate undesirables in the past.

Be it resolved by the Chamber of Delegates:

Euthanasia is hereby banned throughout the South. No doctor or nurse may apply treatment with the primary intent of killing their patient. Doctors or nurses found liable for euthanasia, including passive euthanasia, shall be fined $50,000 for the first offense, and stripped of their license on the second offense. Further offenses will result in prosecution for murder in the first degree.
Based heavily on the Southern Ban on Euthanasia Act

I sign as a co-sponsor of this legislation.

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

Southern Small Business Administration Act
To establish a Southern Small Business Administration

Be it enacted by the Government of the Southern Region

1. A department shall be established called the "Southern Small Business Administration"
2. The Southern Small Business Administration shall have an annual budget of $750 million dollars. Money shall be appropriated from regional reserves.
3. The Southern Small Business Administration shall administer grants and loans under $50,000 for small businesses that have under $100,000 dollars of net revenue each year.
4. The Southern Small Business Administration shall form immediately upon the passage of this bill.

Inspired by legislation recently introduced in Lincoln

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

Southern Small Business Administration Act
To establish a Southern Small Business Administration

Be it enacted by the Government of the Southern Region

1. A department shall be established called the "Southern Small Business Administration"
2. The Southern Small Business Administration shall have an annual budget of $750 million dollars. Money shall be appropriated from regional reserves.
3. The Southern Small Business Administration shall administer grants and loans under $50,000 for small businesses that have under $100,000 dollars of net revenue each year.
4. The Southern Small Business Administration shall form immediately upon the passage of this bill.

Inspired by legislation recently introduced in Lincoln

Signing on as a co-sponsor!

Nice to hear!

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

A CHAMBER RESOLUTION
criticizing a particular substandard Nintendo game

BE IT ENACTED BY THE SOUTHERN CHAMBER RESOLVED.

Section 1, TITLE AND DEFINITIONS.
1. The title of this Resolution shall be, the "Condemnation of Hotel Mario Resolution."

Section 2, RESOLUTION TEXT.

WHEREAS, Nintendo has made many good, objectively excellent games over the years,  and their games have generally met a playable standard, thus showing consistency that is the mark of a good gaming company;

WHEREAS, Nintendo has gone far since selling cards in the late 1800s, making itself a highly successful gaming company with assets and sales exceeding that of many, many companies in its line of business, both in Japan and all over the world;

WHEREAS, the Mario franchise stands as a testament to the fact that Nintendo is capable of good games, and its newest Mario Kart app is highly engaging, a worthy part of the multi-platform experience Japanese firms like to provide to their consumers;

WHEREAS, the worst Mario game ever, Hotel Mario, while doubtless made with the same dedication that characterizes other Nintendo games, is a sorry excuse for a Nintendo game, and not at all hewing to the standard expected from Nintendo;

BE IT RESOLVED THAT THE CHAMBER OF DELEGATES:

1) Condemns Hotel Mario, a game released in 1994, for failure to reach the standard of excellence that is expected and delivered consistently from the Mario team and Nintendo generally.

2) Looks down on anyone who says that Hotel Mario was the best Nintendo game of all time. Don't you know that your actions have consequences? In general, the members of the Chamber of Delegates would rather play a three-dimensional platforming classic Sonic game over a badly made 1994 video game any day. Even Sonic Adventure 3 would be better.

3) Urges all fans of Hotel Mario to recognize the fact that it's very much an acquired taste, not suitable for everyone.

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

A CHAMBER RESOLUTION
getting the record straight on which vegetables are better than others

BE IT ENACTED BY THE SOUTHERN CHAMBER RESOLVED.

Section 1, TITLE AND DEFINITIONS.
1. The title of this Resolution shall be, the "Pretty Obviously Penultimately ExcellentlY hEalthy Vegetables Resolution", or "POPEYE Vegetables Resolution" for short.

Section 2, RESOLUTION TEXT.

WHEREAS, broccoli is a good source of fibre and protein, and contains iron, potassium, calcium, selenium and magnesium, and spinach is also an excellent source of vitamin K, vitamin A, vitamin C and folate;

WHEREAS, cauliflower is bland and not as good as broccoli or spinach;

WHEREAS, the color of our dollar bills, green, is the color of broccoli and spinach, and not cauliflower;

BE IT RESOLVED THAT THE CHAMBER OF DELEGATES:

1) Officially considers broccoli and spinach to be superior to cauliflower.

2) Will express official support for broccoli and spinach to hold a daul, symbolically superior, position to cauliflower in the capitol building's cafeteria.

3) Encourages the consumption of alfredo spinach pizza and/or broccoli caserole, within healthy limits.

4) Commends Elzie Crisler Segar, posthumously, for having created Popeye and thus helping us more directly visualize the greatness of spinach.

5) Commends scientists who have, in past and present, shown dedication towards reseatching the health benefits of broccoli.

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

A BILL FOR AN ACT
allowing the Southern voter to cast a write-in vote using a sticker with candidate’s name on it

BE IT ENACTED BY THE SOUTHERN CHAMBER RESOLVED.

Section 1, TITLE AND CLARIFICATIONS.
1. The title of this Act shall be, the "New Stick It To The Man Act."
2. This bill shall only apply to elections for offices with a write-in option.
3. This bill shall apply to all election precincts under the Southern Region’s authority, even if not for a regional office.

Section 2, TEXT.
1. On the write-in section of a paper ballot, the voter may affix a sticker on their ballot in said section indicating the candidate’s name.
2. If voting for a presidential ticket for president and vice president, this sticker may contain the names for both candidates on the ticket, although it is not required.
3. So long as the sticker is clearly legible, no vote counter in the Southern Region shall reject or delegitimize an election ballot on the sole basis of a write-in sticker being placed on it.
4. Due to the potential of causing paper jams or damage to election equipment, a precinct must place a clear warning on its ballot if votes are counted using ballot scanners.
5. By no means should this bill, either in part or in whole, should be construed as ever requiring the banning the usage of voting machines or affecting the actual presence of voting machines or lack thereof.
6. $100 million dollars will be allocated to allow for a mechanical equivalent of a write-in sticker to be developed and put in effect.

Section 3, ENACTMENT CLAUSE.
1. This legislation shall take effect for all elections starting on or after the first day of March in 2021.

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

A BILL
To coordinate state efforts to establish a regional senior protection progam

Be it enacted by the Southern Chamber of Delegates resolved

Section 1. Title

This legislation may be cited as the Southern Safe Seniors Act.

Section 2. Establishment of regional Silver Alert network

i.) By March 31, 2021, all states and territories of the Southern Region must have established a Silver Alert program utilizing existing Amber Alert infrastructure for the effort of locating missing seniors and following recommendations per guidelines of the federal National Silver Alert Act.

ii.) No later than April 7, 2021, all states and territories must submit requests for matching grants to implement the program to the Atlasian Department of Justice.

Almost completely derived from Fremont's version, and with Scott's permission.

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

Southern Recycling Act
1. In the Southern Region, the following items or groups of items may be redeemed at retail stores in return for eight cents each: one paper bag; one soda can; and four plastic bags.
2. All items thus redeemed for money has to, whenever possible, find itself reused in the making of a product.
3. Retailers can ask the Southern Region to cover the entirety of their costs under this Act.
4. This Act shall take effect on September 1, 2021.

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

Sponsoring the below bill. I'll admit I haven't been paying attention to NPC elections the last two months which is while this slipped my radar.

Yeah, we all kind of didn't pay attention to this issue over the most recent two months, so I would thank Lumine for bringing this to our attention and you for sponsoring.