SAM News Corp.

[Sam Spade]

Midgard Wire Service

NEW YORK -- With 36 hours left in the Northeast Gubernatorial Race, early results show high turnout and a very close race, as the ticket of EarlAW/Max Power leads the ticket of Keystone Phil/King by a total of 11-9, with one write-in.

[Sam Spade]

Midgard Wire Services

NYMAN -- Attorney General John F. Kennedy resigns from his position as Justice Department head.

NEW YORK -- Final results show that EarlAW/Max Power have defeated Keystone Phil/King in the Northeast Gubernatorial Election by a total of 12-11, with two write-ins.

[Sam Spade]

October 12, 2005

Around the World with Jimmy Olsen

By Jimmy Olsen
France, Atlasia and Spain Agree to Drop Partial Trade Sanctions

Partial Military Sanctions Still in Place

Only days after Prime Minister Tony Blair called on France and Atlasia to end their "foolish" and "counterproductive" trade war, on Thursday Secretary of State WMS and the Siege administration backed down on the threat of a trade war and proceeded to end the partial trade sanctions imposed on France only months before.

Said Secretary of State WMS:  "We feel that it serves no great interest to either France or Atlasia to engage in mutually destructive trade sanctions, even because of presently strained French-Atlasian relations in the world specter." 

Almost precisely 6 hours afterwards, the French Trade Minister Francois Loos announced that all trading sanctions against Atlasia were to be lifted and Spain's government followed soon thereafter. 

WMS also announced that he would have a 7-day tour to France and Western Europe starting on October 20, 2005, a week from this day, including a trip to meet and greet Germany's new chancellor Angela Merkel.

Merkel, whose Christian Democratic Party and coalition of parties behind her vaulted her into the chancellorship but a few days ago, has already promised to make reopening and enhancing ties with Atlasia a major part of Germany's foreign policy in the future, after the freeze that occurred during the Schroeder chancellorship.

On news of this French-Spanish-Atlasian agreement, the DOW proceeded to rise nearly 200 points, finishing the day at a monthly high of 8,419.89.  The DOW had been moving upwards for the past week on good news from the government and the Senate with regards to trade policy, even though the economy still showed very little life in October.

The only downspot to the good news was the continual intrasigence on both the French and Atlasian sides towards the mutual partial military sanctions.  Neither side appears to be interested in talking about these sticking points right now and it might take the inaugeration of a new administration in Atlasia before anything might happen to change that.
Deal Reached on Iraqi Constitution

Enough Sunnis on Board to Ensure Passage by Convention

Just in case those inside the Beltway in Nyman might have forgotten, Iraq is still around and causing enough havoc and trouble for Atlasian forces trying to do their job.

But today, a bit of good news emerged.  A bit of good news that may lead to better good news soon and an eventual return of stability to a region that much needs it.

On Wednesday, Iraqi lawmakers approved a set of last-minute amendments to the constitution without a vote, sealing a compromise designed to win Sunni support and boost chances for the charter's approval in a referendum just three days away.

These amendments are designed to break away enough Sunni opposition votes in order to get the Constitution past the convention and eventually past the voters in Iraq.

The most important concession is the introduction of a mechanism allowing the Sunnis to try to make more substantive changes in the constitution later, after a new parliament is elected in December. 

Also, to weaken, at least symbolically, the autonomous powers that the Kurds and Shiites will hold in the new constitution, an article was added underlining that Iraq will be a single nation with its unity guaranteed.

At least one Sunni party, the Iraqi Islamic Party now says that it will back the constitution and urge its supporters to do so.  Other Sunni parties still maintain their opposition, and will undoubtedly continue the opposition all the way to the public polls as well.

Meanwhile, suicide bombers continued their campaign to wreck Saturday's referendum.  A suicide bomber killed 30 Iraqis at an army recruitment center in a northern town where another bomber had struck just a day earlier.  At least 438 people have been killed in militant violence in the last 17 days as insurgents try to scare voters away from the polls Saturday.
Treasury Secretary/Presidential Candidate Supersoulty Has Harsh Words for Iran

Remarks Not Taken Credibly by Iran's Leaders

Most Presidential candidates for the October elections have been paying very little attention on foreign affairs, prefering to focus their remarks on the domestic situation or on the continual Don Quioxte-like quest that is "Forum Affairs" or "Returning the Fun to Atlasia". 

However, this past weekend we saw something different.  In a public address, Treasury Secretary/Presidential Candidate Supersoulty had harsh words on Iran's continual intrusions into Southern Iraq. 

He remarked, "It has become increasingly clear that no less than the highest levels in the Iranian government were behind the attacks on our allies, the British people..."  Furthermore, he responded, "...if elected, I will spare no expense in supporting pro-Democratic groups in Iran to engage in the over-throw of Iranian authorities as soon as possible." 

His remarks were seconded by Presidential candidate Dubya and summarily ignored by the rest of the candidates in the election.

Nonetheless, these words met with marked amusement, even mocking from the Iranian authorities.  On Iranian television Wednesday, an unnamed Iranian official spoke about the substance and tenor of Supersoulty's remarks in a mocking tone, saying that, "What does Iran care about the what the Treasury Secretary of Atlasia has to say?  Iran will continue in its peaceful endeavors no matter what some loose-lipped rogue of the failing Siege administration says."

The official continued, "It is a continual sign of the weakness of the Siege administration that it has no control over its own officials, even over its own government.  The Treasury Secretary's remarks will not be taken seriously until he becomes a real member of the Siege administration or becomes President himself, which considering his many past runs for the President, will happen when hell freezes over.  We continue to laugh in the face of the weak Satan in Atlasia."

The Treasury Secretary was unavailable for comment today.

[Sam Spade]

October 13, 2005

Top Story
New Orleans Nearly Pumped Free of Katrina Water

Next Step in Massive Rebuilding Project Imminent

By Clark Kent

NEW ORLEANS -- Almost a month, and a period which must seem even longer for those who left this embattled city, the floodwaters of New Orleans are close to being gone and the horror they told is about to be swept away into the murky waters of Lake Ponchetrain.

The city of New Orleans, a majority of which was under countless feet of water for many weeks, is now 85% drained and the Army Corps of Engineers said Thursday that there is a good chance the city will be fully drained within the next three to four weeks.

At that time, residents in the hardest-hit areas, especially New Orleans 9th Ward, will be allowed back within their homes to salvage any remaining valuables that they might be able to.

A spokesman for the Corps, Alan Dooley, used the opportunity to sound off yet again against the proposed cut of the Army Corps of Engineers from the 2006 Budget.  Said Mr. Dooley, "Without the Army Corps, not only would the city of New Orleans never recover for its watery torment, but also the whole of many missions in Atlasia and abroad would be put in danger of failure by such a move."

Mr. Dooley also chose to sound off against two proposed bills in front of the Senate that would close the Mississippi River Gulf Outlet and control how levees are constructed along the Mississippi River. 

"What the bureaucrats and the Senators in Nyman need to understand is that closing the Mississippi River Gulf Outlet will hurt the rebuilding of the economy of New Orleans by closing its ports to ships that could normally not come into the ports.  It will also have no effect upon the problems that plagued New Orleans because of Katrina.  The breaks in the levees occurred on the Lake Ponchetrain side of the levees and that's where the Atlasian government should be focusing its attention.

The other bill proposed to control the levees that populate the Mississippi addresses problems without presenting solutions.  Unless the federal government is willing to fund the Army Corps of Engineers to build strong levees along the Mississippi, the removal of other levee systems will simply exacurbate flooding along the highly populated Mississippi River, instead of alleviating it.  Clearly our leaders in Nyman have forgotten the 1993 floods before the people who live there."

Another bit of good news appeared concerning the Katrina rebuilding effort yesterday.  The federal government has estimated that rebuilding costs will likely fall below $150 billion, far under the $200+ billion earlier feared for the Katrina and Rita recovery efforts.

The Congressional Budget Office, which has long feared that the relief efforts might break the back of the increasingly spendthrift Atlasian Senate and President, now forecasts that the final recovery bill could be set back into the 2007 fiscal year budget, certainly making this year's balanced budget potentially more of reality than it appeared a few weeks ago.
From The Daily Planet Editorial Board

By Perry White
Fool Me Once, Shame on You.  Fool Me Twice, Shame on Me.

The Atlasian Senate seems to be intent lately on setting Atlasia back on the old well-worn days of eras past, clearly forgetting the lessons learned during earlier sessions.

First, it was the passage of the Adding States Amendment, giving the Senate legal authority to add states to the Union without regards to their own personal wants.  Certain Imperial Senators, who have long wanted Atlasia to take over the world, without regards to the world's opinion, got their way on this, and will certainly use it at the earliest possible opportunity to annex some territory, province or other once the election is over.

Second, we had the Amendment to lower minimum post registration counts from 50 to 25 under the guise of "increasing voter registration and participation."  Not only has there been no associated correlation between registration post count and new active members registering, but the amendment now brings back the possibility of registering of voters for avatar purposes or gaming elections. 

How soon we forget the past activities of members of government such as Harry, Akno21, Flyers2006 (Irish Democrat), PBrunsel and that uber-troll Jesus, all posters who manipulated the lower minimum post registration counts of past years for there own political purposes.

Now, we perhaps have the worst amendment of all in the aptly-named Constitutional Amendment to Protect Civil Liberties.  The overly broad language of the amendment intends to protect any citizens' due process under the law.  Backers of the amendment state that their goal is protection of certain rights dealing with free speech and protecting the Bill of Rights from intrusion by the Regions.  But the thrust of the amendment amounts to much more.

Instead of dealing with conflicts in federal and regional law as they occur, the backers of this amendment have chosen to take the easy road out and usurp the authority of Regional governments to iron out those parts of the law which the federal government has left untouched. 

Undoubtedly a great fear of many on the right will be that the federal courts might interpret this amendment to create a doctrine of substantive due process as applying to various social issues traditionally under Regional scope, including abortion, the death penalty and labor issues.

However, many on the left should also fear that, with the court's current composition, some justices might use the present opportunity to strike down certain laws which restrict the so-called "liberty of contract" on both the federal and regional level.

Simply put, this is a lose-lose amendment from all angles, and should be roundly defeated, as the two previous amendments ought to have been.
Some Changes Occuring at The Daily Planet, Presidential Interviews To Arrive Soon

After a month of running this paper, you learn a couple of things as editor.

Number one:  If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Number two:  If it is broke, you better sure do something about it.

The present state of this paper's daily news coverage clearly falls under the scope of the latter, though our writers fit the former designation perfectly.

So instead of biweekly updates with three or four major news articles, The Daily Planet will now be running daily features on different facets of life around Atlasia and the world, giving three or four mini-articles detailing the news of the moment in each situation.

And when a big event occurs, you can count on The Daily Planet to be there, bringing depth and verve to every news story we write.

The new break-up is as follows:

Sunday:  My Thoughts (Ron Troupe)
Monday:  Inside the Beltway (Dirk Armstrong)
Tuesday:  News Across Atlasia (Clark Kent)
Wednesday:  Around the World with Jimmy Olsen (Jimmy Olsen)
Thursday:  From The Daily Planet Editorial Board (Perry White)
Friday:  Business Beat (Lois Lane)
Saturday:  Regional Roundup (Lola Barnett)

And Simone D'Neige and Steve Lombard, our other two fine reporters, will have articles to replace this daily line-up. 

Most likely this will be Ron Troupe, on days after he goes on one of his all-night binges.

Our other big addition here at the Daily Planet in the next week will be interviews with the five major candidates for the Presidency of Atlasia.

Starting next week, each candidate's interview will be published daily to give voters new and valuable information to take with them as they reach the polling booth next Friday.

Five general questions will be asked of all candidates and five specific questions will be asked individually to each candidate.

We hope that all of these changes will help improve The Daily Planet in the upcoming days and weeks.

[Sam Spade]

October 14, 2005

Business Beat

By Lois Lane
September GDP Growth Slows, Consumer Spending Down

Even with Decline in Gas Prices, Inflation Has Slight Uptick

Precisely on target, the September GDP figures were released today, and they show an Atlasian economy growth as slow and ponderous, notwithstanding measures to fix the problem.

GDP grew in September by only a 0.7% margin, as Atlasia nears an anemic 1% growth in GDP for the whole year.  The major positive for the Atlasian economy over the past month has been the drop in oil prices and the corresponding drop in gas prices.  Oil is now at $61.09 a barrel and gas prices have fallen below $2.30 for the first time in months.

However, even with this drop, inflation still appears to be rearing its ugly head.  Inflation, as a whole, was at 3.1% for September and would be even higher if gas and heating oil consumption were removed.

Even worse, consumer spending dropped nearly 1.1% in the past month, a huge drop which many economists see as a result of lowered wages at the bottom end of the economic spectrum. 

This wage drop is believed to be in part because of the Atlasian Supreme Court's Bono v. Atlasia II ruling, which effectively declared the national minimum wage as unconstitutional.  Already three Regions have minimum wage laws set to come up to vote in the next month and the other two will undoubtedly be close behind.

Treasury Secretary Supersoulty reduced the target interest rate by 0.25% in the past week and on this news and the passage of CAFTA, the stock market has shown a decided move up in the past week, gaining nearly 500 points.

However, it is unknown whether these weak economic figures will have a negative impact as the market opens on Monday.
Senate Passes Modified Version of CAFTA

Investors Breathe Heavy Sigh of Relief, Though Other Groups Are Worried

On Tuesday of this week, President Siege40 signed into law a modified version of the trade agreement known as CAFTA.  Investors on Wall Street took this as being generally good news, after the heated debate it sparked in the Senate, that the Senate might not be so anti-free trade after all.  The market responded accordingly, gaining nearly 500 points over the week to finish at 8,469.56.  But other groups, and even some investors are worried about other potential impacts of the bill.

Environmental groups spoke heavily Thursday against the signing declaring Siege40 the "anti-environmental President" and declaring him to have betrayed their cause.  They also took aim at a number of Senators, specifically Senators Defarge and True Independent, for supporting the modified legislation.

Their rationale?  The new agreement lacks any sort of environmental protections that the original version of CAFTA and past trade agreements such as NAFTA do. 

Sierra Club President Lisa Renstrom said on Wednesday that the agreement will "weaken the quality of air and water in Atlasia, allowing vehicles and products to come into Atlasia that do not meet the environmental standards that this country sets."

Also worried about the new agreement were industry executives in the entertainment industries across Atlasia.  Unlike the original version of the CAFTA agreement and NAFTA, these new trade laws do not give any protection towards infringements of copyrights that may occur in the Central American countries.

RIAA chairman Mitch Bainwol said on Thursday that, "Already under assault from those in the Atlasia and around the world from those who wish to steal copyrighted music, art, pictures and everything under the sun, the Atlasian government has allowed these thieves a new outlet to practice their trade freely and without fear of prosecution."

Investors have tended to downplay these remarks, as shown by their enthuasiastic response of the last week, but as of now, it is unknown right now where these fears are grounded or not and it appears like time will be the only true answer to these concerns.

First Report on Thrift Savings Plan Shows Moderate Success

Younger Atlasians Show Better Returns

The first report on the test implementation of the Thrift Savings Plan amongst the general populace introduced in True Independent's Reforming Social Security Act showed moderate success among all groups, but the greatest results were among younger Atlasians.

An early explanation to this result lies in the fact that high-growth funds performed exceptional well this past month, especially over the past week, with the dual interest rate cut and passage of CAFTA.

For the past month, the growth results are as follows:

L2040: 2.00%
L2030: 1.82%
L2020: 1.55%
L2010: 1.22%
LIncome: 0.68%

with the different funds achieving this rate of growth:

G Fund: 0.21%
F Fund: 2.17%
C Fund: 1.87%
S Fund: 4.57%
I Fund: 0.69%

Government analysts say that this result was better-than-expected, but they cannot guarantee that the same rate of return will appear for the those in the trial next month, especially with the downturn in economic figures just released today.

Still, no one can deny that this is a promising showing for a test case program that was passed easily by the Senate and signed by the President over a month ago.

[Sam Spade]

Welcome to the SAM News Network, and this is your host, Larry King, for the SAM News Network's debut airing of...

Larry King: Sort of Alive and Kicking
and Married to a Mormon



This week, we are pleased at Larry King: Sort of Alive and Kicking
and Married to a Mormon to be joined each night by each Atlasian Presidential candidate for a heart-to-heart interview, which will delve deeper into the candidate's soul and mind, more than you would normally get from a debate or something else.

Tonight our interviewee is none other than the Vice-President and leader of the Independent Liberal Party himself...

**Emsworth**

Larry King:  Welcome, Mr. Vice-President.

Emsworth:  It's good to be here, Larry and thank you for having me on your show.

Larry King:  For our viewers at home who might not be aware, Emsworth is often considered to be one of intellectual hefts behind Atlasia and I'm sure his answers tonight will show that that big brain of his is truly working to capacity tonight.

Emsworth:  I don't know how to respond to that, Larry, but anyway, thanks for the compliment.

Larry King:  None taken.

(puzzled look by crew)

Larry King:  Anyway, let's begin....

A two-part question to start off with:

What is the most important issue facing the Republic of Atlasia today in your opinion, and if elected President, what would you do concerning that issue?

Emsworth:  The most important issue facing is today is ensuring that we can maintain a high level of interest in the simulation. In the current Senate elections, we have fewer candidates than in many previous contests. The voter rolls were relatively stagnant until recently, although I am happy to say that a few new voters have joined this month.

I have suggested, in a previous speech of mine, that maintaining federalism would help keep voters interested. They could actively participate in the regional legislative process, and, after gaining experience, could confidently seek election to the Senate. Aside from ensuring that the powers of the regions do not dwindle, I believe that it is necessary to have strong leadership. Not only the President, but also the Senate and the Cabinet, must be actively involved in fantasy politics. Inactivity breeds lethargy and boredom, while activity ensures that there is always something new to debate and discuss.

Larry King:  Next question.  In November, the final draft of the federal budget for the Fiscal Year 2006 will be approved.

As President, how do you intend to address the problems faced by Atlasia in this year's budget?

Emsworth:  I believe that it is vital that the federal government cut spending. The size of the federal government has grown in the last several years; it is necessary that we reverse the trend. Otherwise, we face the prospect of a very large deficit, and an ever-expanding national debt.

There are several measures we could take to cut expenses. For example, we could cut farm subsidies, which have drained money from the Treasury but which for the most part benefit only a few farmers. Similarly, I consider it important that we reduce various corporate welfare measures. We should not be taxing the People of Atlasia to subsidize the richest corporations. I will also add that Medicaid reform (an idea that is being considered in the Southeast) could also be considered at a federal level.

Larry King:  Let's continue on the theme of the budget.

In the campaign, you have proposed elimination of the Alternative Minimum Tax, as well as closing other tax loopholes.

How do you plan to accomplish cutting taxes, while at the same time meeting the budgetary requirements mandated by the Constitution which are presently far from being met?

Emsworth:  I think that my proposal to close tax loopholes would result in an increase in government revenue, rather than a decrease. A variety of tax deductions and tax credits have been abused or misused. Reform in this field would prevent inequitable avoidance of federal taxation.

I admit that the abolition of the Alternative Minimum Tax would reduce federal revenues. However, I believe that this reduction will be significant. Indeed, a reduction in taxes often gives business owners more incentive to take risks and invest money. Thus, lower tax rates coupled with an expanded tax base would actually lead to an increase in revenue.

Larry King:  Intriguing answers so far.  Let's continue.

Many in Atlasian society and government have complained about the weakness of the Presidential office under the past three Presidents.

A two-part question:

Do you believe that the Presidency of Atlasia is weaker than it should be, and if so, how would you strengthen the office?

Emsworth:  Although it is technically quite powerful, the Presidency is certainly weaker than it should be, in terms of actual influence. We perhaps have an “imperial Senate” that dominates the federal government, when there should be a balance between the executive and the legislature. In order to correct this imbalance, I would participate in debates and continue to write legislation, just as I have done as Vice President. I believe that actual negotiation with Senators, and actual participation in the legislative process, will restore the Presidency to its proper position in government.

Some of my opponents have proposed to expand the powers of the Presidency. It has been suggested that the President should be able to introduce legislation directly. To be frank, I do not believe that this step will be necessary, if the President is sufficiently active in the first place. As Vice President, I have found that Senators have always been willing to introduce proposals I have recommended. Negotiation between the President and the Senate, I believe, would improve the quality of our government. But if the President could merely instruct the Senate to consider any particular bill, negotiation would be discouraged.

Larry King:  Yep, we certainly don't need another Alcon, do we folks?

(laughs)

Next question:

Your term as Vice-President has been praised by many Atlasians as being a defining term in the office.

In what ways do you believe that your four months in office as Vice-President have proved you to be able to govern as President?

Emsworth:  Formerly, the task of presiding over the Senate was left not to the Vice President, but to the President pro tempore. During my Vice Presidency, however, I have actively presided over debates. I think that this is the accomplishment of which I am most proud: making the Vice Presidency an office with actual duties, rather than just a title.

I have worked with the Senate on several pieces of legislation. I have written eight bills that have already been passed into law, have contributed to the Budget, and have proposed amendments to many others. Furthermore, I have regularly participated in Senate debates on a variety of issues. I intend to carry on in this vein. If elected, I would continue to write bills, and continue to work with Senators during the legislative process.

Larry King:  Let me continue if I may, considering we might be running short of time.

Some in Atlasian society have talked of a return to a simpler Atlasia, free of complicated rules and regulations.

To some of these citizens, and I mean this in a good way and perhaps a not-so-good one, you represent the complicated quality of Atlasian life that emerged from the Sixth, Seventh Session and afterwards.

A two-part question:

How do you respond to those who may feel this way about Atlasian politics and do you think that a return to a simpler Atlasia is a positive thing that should be encouraged by your administration?

Emsworth:  I believe that the issue of simplicity has two facets. Firstly, there are many who want simplicity in forum affairs. Here, I would completely agree. With regard to voter registration, campaigning, elections, and so forth, simplicity is definitely important. An excessively complicated system puts off voters and potential candidates; bureaucracy and regulation should be minimal. It is for this very reason that I opposed the Declaration of Candidacy Bill, which would have (I believe) added unnecessary red tape to the process of becoming a candidate.

Then there is the issue of simplicity in legislation. Some people have argued that Atlasia should have elections, but that the government should not actually consider and pass legislation. Here, I would have to disagree. If fantasy government were ended, then fantasy elections would become boring and pointless. Bills that relate to “real-life issues” such as gun rights, the death penalty, Social Security, taxation, and foreign policy tend to provoke a lot of interest. To restrict the Senate’s role to just regulating elections, and to end legislation with regard to these areas (as some have proposed) would deal a severe blow to the level of popular interest in this simulation. 

Therefore, to recapitulate, simplicity is important in areas like voter registration, campaigning, and elections. However, when it comes to legislation on “real-life” issues, the status quo should be maintained.

Larry King:  Haha.  Wrapping it all up in a nice little box, should we say.

(puzzled look by staff)

This interview continues on the next post...

[Sam Spade]

Larry King:  Well, this interview is just going along splendidly, isn't it, Mr. Vice-President?

Emsworth:  Yes, it certainly is, Larry.

Larry King:  Let's continue.

You served as Secretary of Defense under the True Democrat administration in a term many Atlasian pundits called undistinguished. 

In your election campaign, talk of foreign affairs issues has been fairly absent.

Another two-part question, which I promise will be the last, Mr. Vice-President: 

How do plan to deal with the evolving situation in both Iraq, the Mideast, China and North Korea?

And, what type of person do you wish to see as Secretary of Defense in the Emsworth administration?

Emsworth:  I believe that Atlasian troops should remain in Iraq until the mission of stabilizing the country and the government is accomplished. I oppose setting ultimatums or deadlines for Atlasian troops to withdraw from Iraq, and I would veto any bill that does so. A deadline would excessively constrain the operations of the armed forces, and would be unable to account for events outside our control.

Iran has interfered in Iraq, aiding the insurgency against coalition forces. Iranian authorities have been linked to attacks in the British Zone. There is no place for doubt or equivocation: I will fully support Britain (perhaps our most important ally in this operation) and Prime Minister Blair in whatever action they decide to take against the Iranian government.

With regard to China and Taiwan, I would maintain the policy of previous Atlasian administrations. I do not believe that Taiwan should be abandoned to communist aggression.

Many citizens of Atlasia are concerned with the North Korean nuclear program, and rightly so. I have to confess that this is the most difficult part of your question. In this past September, the six-party talks involving Atlasia, North Korea, China, Japan, South Korea, and Russia reached a preliminary agreement under which North Korea has agreed to abandon all nuclear weapons and programs. Further talks are scheduled for next year. As we all know, North Korea is not a country renowned for keeping its promises, so we shall have to be careful when dealing with them. All options will be on the table; I cannot commit to any one particular course of action at this stage, given that circumstances may change due to events outside our control.

To answer the second part of your question, I would want someone in the same mould as John Ford to be Secretary of Defense. It is very important that the Defense Secretary be knowledgeable in defense-related issues, and that he be an active member of the Cabinet. Similar criteria, might I add, would apply for all other executive departments.

Larry King:  Because you are the resident legal scholar, I feel this question is quite apt and informative, if I may so Mr. Vice President.

Emsworth:  What's the question, Larry?

Larry King:  Oh, right.  Forgot about that.

(laughs)

Which Supreme Court decision of the Atlasian Supreme Court do you find the most unpersuasive and why?

Emsworth:  I would begin by remarking that our Supreme Court has generally been correct on most issues. It has not made any particularly bad or terrible decisions. Thus, it is quite different from the real-life Supreme Court of the United States; it has restricted itself to interpretation of the law, and has not engaged in legislating from the bench.

The decision I find least persuasive was the first decision made by the court, Harry v. M. In that case, the Court restricted participation in an election to two particular candidates, and disallowed write-ins. I think that to do so was a mistake; the constitutional argument was somewhat unpersuasive.

Larry King:  Well that migrendel, he certainly was a character wasn't he?

Since we are running short of time, let me just ask you a final few questions:

What is the greatest asset that you believe your running mate brings to your ticket?

Emsworth:  My running mate, Senator Q, has proved that he is intelligent and hard-working. His service as Lottery Commissioner of the Southeast, and thereafter as Lieutenant-Governor of the Southeast, was very distinguished. In the latter role, he actively proposed regional initiatives, and helped conduct regional elections and referenda with efficiency. His record as Senator has been equally excellent; he regularly makes contributions to Senate debates. I have little doubt that he would be a very effective Vice President.

Larry King:  Emsworth, if you and your running mate were to drop out of the Presidential race, which candidate would you support and why?

Emsworth:  I have not made up my mind as to who would receive my second preference. At this stage, however, I would be most inclined to support Joe Republic and Defarge. I believe that his record as Governor of the Mideast indicates that he would be likely to be an effective leader.

Well that wasn't the question I was asking, but hey, good answer anyways.

(laughs)

Larry King:  Final question, Mr. Vice-President, before we have to sign off.

Do horrible events like Hurricane Katrina ever cause you to doubt your faith or question your religious convictions?

Emsworth:  Events like Hurricane Katrina cause considerable grief and pain. Of course, it is very difficult to hear of the immense suffering, of the magnitude of the tragedy. However, to be completely honest, I would have to say that I have not doubted my views or beliefs as a result. At the same time, I completely respect those whose faiths were shaken by the hurricane, as well as those whose faiths were reinforced by the humanitarian relief effort that followed.

Larry King:  Thank you, Mr. Vice-President, for the interview and good night Atlasia.

Emsworth:  Same to you, Larry.

Larry King:  Thanks.  Goodnight all yet again.

[Sam Spade]

October 16, 2005

My Thoughts

By Ron Troupe
So, I Work On Sundays Now

Damn You, Steady Employment and Gambling Debts!

I guess I work on Sundays now, which is a fact I'm firmly placing in the bad news pile.  Zell Miller once said he liked George Bush because he was the same man on Sunday morning as he was on Saturday night.  That's not so true of me.  On Saturday night, I'm more fun than a barrel of monkeys (assuming those monkeys are drinking jagermeister).   On Sunday mornings, I'm unconscious.  I tried to get out of having a Sunday morning deadline, saying that I had to observe the Sabbath, but Sam Spade just looked at me and laughed.

So what, at least I'm having a better week than Katie Holmes.  Katie has turned down a movie role to focus on her pregnancy and says she wants to be a stay at home mom once the child is born.  Its nice to see Tom and Katie choose the traditional lifestyle like that.  Mom stays at home, dad goes to West Hollywood all night.  And once every two weeks the kids will get to see some guy named Tom show up reeking of leather and cosmopolitans and pay everybody to keep their mouths shut.

On a more serious note, since you all last heard from me a great American city has been lost - New Orleans.  I love New Orleans (take a guess why) and will miss the old NO dearly.  As much though as I love the city, I want whoever wins the upcoming Presidential election to pledge not to engage in an expensive building project to rebuild the city as it was where it was.  Obviously, it’s a vulnerable place in that position.  Instead, we should spend the $200 billion it would take to rebuild the city and give each of the nearly one million people a check for $200,000, or $800,000 for a family of four.  That's enough money to start a new life somewhere.  We could resettle all these people somewhere that is less likely to sink into the ocean, like Kansas.  I'd visit New New Orleans, Kansas, wouldn't you?

Sure maybe Kansans wouldn't like us building New New Orleans in their backyard but hey, if there's anyone who needs to lighten up Mardi Gras style, it's people in Kansas.  So come on Kansas, welcome these folks with open arms.  Show us your compassion.  Show us you tolerance.  Show us your wild side.  But most of all show us your tits!

[Sam Spade]

Welcome to the SAM News Network, and this is your host, Larry King, for another great SAM News Network program...

Larry King: Sort of Alive and Kicking
and Married to a Mormon



This week, we are pleased at Larry King: Sort of Alive and Kicking
and Married to a Mormon to be joined each night by each Atlasian Presidential candidate for a heart-to-heart interview, which will delve deeper into the candidate's soul and mind, more than you would normally get from a debate or something else.

Tonight our interviewee is Treasury Secretary and former Senator...

**Supersoulty**

Larry King:  Welcome, Mr. Supersoulty.

Supersoulty:  It's good to be here, Larry and thank you for having me on this wonderful show.

Larry King:  It's a pleasure to be here also.

To begin the show, I would first like to apologize the former President Alcon last night for questioning the quality of his Presidency.  Apparently, in the heat of the moment  I uttered a few words that the chairman and CEO of this company found offensive and was told so today.  Once again, my apologies.

So, let's get to the hard-hitting questions.

A two-part question to start off with:

What is the most important issue facing the Republic of Atlasia today in your opinion, and if elected President, what would you do concerning that issue?

Supersoulty:  Well, there are many very important issues that face Atlasia today.  The international situation, the War on Terror, the economy, the Minimum Wage, the Rule of the Presidency.

However, my campaign this time around has been based largely on family issues, and I think with good cause.  The fact is, programs designed to help families, the poor, education, etc. have taken quite a beating under this Senate and I think that needs to change.

I will be just as devoted and will give just as much attention to other issues as well, though, esspecially international issues.

Larry King:  Ah, family issues.  There's nothing as important as family, as I'm sure my many former wives will tell you.

Next question:

In November, the final draft of the federal budget for the Fiscal Year 2006 will be approved.

As President, how do you intend to address the problems faced by Atlasia in this year's budget?

Supersoulty:  Well, if the Senate had acted upon my proposal, while I was in the Senate, to form a committee designed to hunt down wasteful spending, then the deficit would be a lot smaller today.  However, no one acted.

I would specifically target areas of clear waste.  Fact is, people in the government know where to hide money and we need to bust up those waste shelters.  It's about time we started being realistic about the problem.

Larry King:  Keeping on the theme of the economy...

In the campaign, you have proposed bringing back a national minimum wage through either a constitutional amendment or the replacement of judges, both of which I'm not going to ask you about.

Presently, there are three Regions with minimum wage bills with upcoming votes in the next couple of months.

If the Regions pass minimum wage bills, will this same eagerness to enact federal minimum wage laws still be a major part of your administration?

Supersoulty:  Yes, because i think we need a national standard, even if it is lower than that of some regional standards.  Having a standard helps stabalize the economy.  Having a standard also makes things more fair for workers and regions.  Businesses that can, will flock to areas where they can afford to pay their employees less.  They won't have to pay higher wages, because now everyone is allowed to go as low as they want.  In theory, people should then be able to move to a better job.  In practice, people who are already making low wages can't afford to leave.  Areas that want to do the right thing and pay people more will lose jobs to places that want to stay competitive and keep the wage low.  Meanwhile, the real lossers are working families, because no one, not even the government will care about what happens to them.

Larry King:  Fair enough answer.  Kemperor, you'd better watch out, old buddy.

(laughs)

Many in Atlasian society and government have complained about the weakness of the Presidential office under the past three Presidents.

A two-part question on this:

Do you believe that the Presidency of Atlasia is weaker than it should be, and if so, how would you strengthen the office?

Supersoulty:  Absolutley, and I have thought this from the start.  Our Presidents simply need to be more active in agenda setting and foriegn affairs.  Recently, Presidents are elected, and then they fall off the map.  I think this needs to change, and I will change it by remaining active, building up the power of the cabinet and simply being at the wheel of the ship of state.  If elected, the buck will always stop with me.

Larry King:  Harry Truman-esque.  He was a good guy and played a mean game of cards, didn't he?

(laughs)

Your term as Treasury Secretary has been praised by many Atlasians as being a defining term in the office.

Another two-part question:

With that experience in hand, what type of person do you wish to see as Treasury Secretary in the Supersoulty administration and do you have anyone in mind at this moment?

Supersoulty:  There are laws against disclosing this kind of information, what I will say though is that I have a very good idea of who I want in my cabinet, and each of my appointments will be active, agressive and responsable.  My Treasury Secretary will be no different.

Larry King:  Well, I guess I can't ask you to violate the law, can I?  That's only ok for Regional officials, right?

(laughs)

(puzzled look from staff)

Alright, alright everybody.  I'll stop with the jokes.

This is your third run for the Presidential office, with neither of the two being successful runs.

With this in mind, what new ideas do you think can set this Presidential run apart from the others and make this run successful?

Supersoulty:  Well, much has changed about Atlasia since my first run.  I, however, have not changed my message and this is true in every race I have run and every possition I have held.  The emphasis on issues changes, of course, from one race to another, but what I really hope the people apprieciate is my consitancy.  I think that will win out eventually.  I believe that my message is the right one for Atlasia and I hope to win people based on that.  Not based on coming out with something flashy and new everytime I throw my hat in.

I want people to know that they can trust me to be the same person as President as I was when they voted for me.

Larry King:  Considering as we are running short of time, let me continue with the next question. 

Of all the candidates, your campaign has been the most insistent on making foreign policy a key issue in the election. 

You recently maked a rather inflammatory speech with regards to Iran's interference in Southern Iraq.

Another two-part question:

What are your major plans in the area of foreign policy?  And specifically, how do you intend to deal with the presently weak French-Atlasian relations in your administration?

Supersoulty:  Well, first, I have, from my first race on wards, been a major proponet of a Global Treaty Organization.  I think the collective security that it would provide and the cooperation it would engender would be a major step forward for Democracy everywhere.

Second, I intend to take an agressive stance against terrorism and those systems that engender hatred and suffering all over the world.  This includes action on both the military and diplomatic fronts.  I intend to push for reforms all over the world that will make all of humanity more secure in the future.

In regards to our relations with the French, I intend to go to France personally and speak with President Chirac.  I hope that we can work out our differences and realize, together, that there is much more that unites us than sperates us.  I don't intend for either country to be weak or submissive to the other, but rather show that we can be strong together.

Interview continued in next post...

[Sam Spade]

Larry King:  Supersoulty, you have been on the opposing side of a number of heated debates.  One can easily remember your writings in the aftermath of Bono v. Atlasia, all the way up to your recent debates with Senator Ebowed on farm subsidies.

With this in mind, how do intend on uniting Atlasia together during your Presidency to include those interests with which you have so vehemently disagreed with in the past?

Supersoulty:  First, I am a strong believer in the idea that we can all disagree without being disagreeable.  I am still friends with those whom I disagree and I do not demonize them.  I represent no strict ideology.  I don't care about Left and Right, but rather Right and Wrong.  I also understand that no one will ever disagree 100% of the time.  Compromise is important to achieving any aim.  I think that the record will show that I was always willing to compromise in even the most contraversial situations, in order to accomplish something possitive.  It will also show that I am not shy about incorporating others ideas and suggestions into my proposals.

I will take the best ideas from all groups and enact them.  And, even if I disagree with someone, I will do my best to help them feel involved.

Larry King: A few final questions, Supersoulty, before we have to go:

What is the greatest asset that you believe your running mate brings to your ticket?

Supersoulty:  Frodo saved all of us from the evil Sauron.  I think that is reason enough.  (Heh)

Seriously, he is a man of great passion and compassion who understands how the machine works and knows how to get things done.  I'm honored to have him with me.

Larry King:  If you and your running mate were to drop out of the Presidential race, which candidate would you support and why?

I think that Dubya and Joe Republic are both excellent men who are more than qaulified to lead this country.

Larry King:  And the final question of the evening...

Do horrible events like Hurricane Katrina ever cause you to doubt your faith or question your convictions?

Supersoulty:  I think that we all doubt on occation, but I never doubt that there is a God, so much as I do that he is acctually listening, or has a plan.  So, the answer is, in a way, yes.  But, that certainly does not preclude us acting to do what we think is best, so I would never allow that to stand in the way of my own performance as president.  Even so, my doubts never last long... seconds really, if at all.  I do firmly believe that the hand of God is opperating in all things, even if we don't understand the where, what for and why sometimes.

Larry King:  Thank you, Supersoulty, for the interview and good night Atlasia.

Supersoulty:  Same to you, Larry.

Larry King:  Thanks.  Goodnight all yet again.

[Sam Spade]

Welcome to the SAM News Network, and this is your host, Larry King, for another great SAM News Network program...

Larry King: Sort of Alive and Kicking
and Married to a Mormon



This week, we are pleased at Larry King: Sort of Alive and Kicking
and Married to a Mormon to be joined each night by each Atlasian Presidential candidate for a heart-to-heart interview, which will delve deeper into the candidate's soul and mind, more than you would normally get from a debate or something else.

Tonight our interviewee is former Senate candidate and Social Democratic Party chairman...

**Speed of Sound**

Larry King:  Welcome, Mr. Speed of Sound.

Speed of Sound:  It's good to be here, Larry and thank you for having me on this wonderful show.

Larry King:  It's a pleasure to be here also.

You're a busy man, so let's get to the questions before the Carnegie Deli closes.

A two-part question to start off with:

What is the most important issue facing the Republic of Atlasia today in your opinion, and if elected President, what would you do concerning that issue?

Speed of Sound:  The biggest problem is the tax system. Controversial taxes (mainly those that fund the arts) should be optional, and I will fight to make them that way.

Larry King:  Yep, I don't like taxes myself.  Except those the fund children's shelters or Jewish orphanages.

Next question.

In November, the final draft of the federal budget for the Fiscal Year 2006 will be approved.

As President, how do you intend to address the problems faced by Atlasia in this year's budget?

Speed of Sound:  Well, this is a tough question. I would say that at this point it may be time to cut some spending, along with some minimally raised taxes.

Larry King:  Not afraid to be called a tax raiser, are we?  I've got to admire those points for bravery.

Let's continue.

In a speech from Concord, Massachusetts on August 28, 2005, you proposed that Atlasians should be able to pay more or less than the requested amount on funding taxes.

A two-part question here:

For our viewers here and across Atlasia, could you describe what type of taxes are to be eligible under this plan, and how you might resolve potential revenue cuts from making certain taxes optional with the impending budget crisis in November?

Speed of Sound:  Well, I think that things like Foreign aid, science funding, arts funding, faith-based initiatives; these are all things that people dont want to be funding, so why should they be? This won't hurt the budget at all because whatever the tax brings in, thats how much that dept gets. If they get $10, thats what they work with.

Larry King:  If only our federal budget was $10; then all we could fund would be a bowl of motza ball soup and some pickles.

(laughs)

Many in Atlasian society and government have complained about the weakness of the Presidential office under the past three Presidents.

Another two-part question:

Do you believe that the Presidency of Atlasia is weaker than it should be, and if so, how would you strengthen the office?

Speed of Sound:  I dont believe that the office is weak at all, so I dont find a need for expansion to the position.

Larry King:  Our chairman will certainly like to hear those comments.  He thinks he is more important than all of the other past Presidents put together.

Let's continue with a question about your ticket.

Many in Atlasian politics have derided your choice for VP in the Independent citizen from Michigan, skybridge, saying that he is too inactive and unqualified for the job[/i]

How would you respond to these questions about his qualifications?

Speed of Sound:  I strongly believe that my good friend Shybridge will be ready to take action as VP. I only pick candidates I think will fit the job, and I know if he's given the chance, Mr. Skybridge will fit it just fine.

Larry King:  Friendship is surely strong in the Speed of Sound/skybridge ticket.

(laughs)

(puzzled look from staff)

You have prided your campaign on having a good sense of humor, being open to those who might not agree with you on beliefs, but want to return the "fun to Atlasia", as it is referred to.

In the LiberalPA/Speed of Sound administration, how do you plan on returning the "fun to Atlasia" in terms of legislative accomplishments or goals, or do you intend for it to be just an "attitude adjustment", so to say?

Speed of Sound:  Well, there is much to be done. I like the term limits idea brought up by my friend Texasgurl. This will give more confindence to those newcomers who dont want to go up against the 3 or 4 time re-elected incumbents, and I don't blame them. We could also advertise through PM to members of the forum who have not joined fantasy politics. But legislation isnt everything. There will also be an attitude shift in Atlasia. I feel things are a bit too serious right now, so its time to loosen up a bit.

Larry King:  An attitude shift.  This network needs a little of that, if you ask me.

Not to put words in your mouth, but you have expressed your political beliefs as being a "self-described socialist".

If your administration, what types of bills, proposals, nominations and other such Presidential responsibilities would you make in order expound these beliefs to Atlasians who might not agree with your entire philosophy?

Speed of Sound:  Im here to guide a nation of many beliefs, so I plan not to let my personal ways get into stopping things. I will try and represent everyone, not just me.

Larry King:  A uniter, not a divider.  Definitely a good, never used campaign slogan.  You should adopt it.

Your campaign has not mentioned much about foreign policy, choosing to focus on other issues.

The final two-part question, I promise: 

What are your basic foreign policy views and how would you presently handle the situation in Iraq and across the Middle East region?

Speed of Sound:  It's all about a timetable. We must get our troops out. We've lost enough. I will set the withdrawal to begin in mid-2006.

Larry King:  Ok, just a few final questions from me, and we can hit the road tonight.

What is the greatest asset that you believe your running mate brings to your ticket?

Speed of Sound:  I believe that he helps with my attitude shift I want to make in Atlasia, along with my attempt to unite all beliefs with respect for everyone.

Larry King:  If you and your running mate were to drop out of the Presidential race, which candidate would you support and why?

Speed of Sound:  I would back Emsworth/Q because I find that there is alot of leadership and work ethic in both of them. We've seen the works of Emsworth as VP, so Im sure he could only be better as President.

Larry King:  And now, the final question of the night.... 

Do horrible events like Hurricane Katrina ever cause you to doubt your faith?

Speed of Sound:  Absolutely not. My faith could not be shattered. I believe that God is watching over, helping me and every one else, even through the hard times.

Larry King:  Thank you, Speed of Sound, for the interview and good night Atlasia.

Speed of Sound:  Same to you, Larry.

Larry King:  Thanks.  Goodnight all yet again.

[Sam Spade]

October 17, 2005

Inside the Beltway

By Dirk Armstrong
President Siege40 Gives Final State of the Union Speech

Speech Deals With Strengths of Term, Future Office Holders

On Saturday, President Siege40 gave his last State of the Forum address as President.  He thanked all of Atlasia for their support during his term and wished the new leaders well.  He also praised the democratic elections presently going on in Iraq this weekend.

He then proceeded to simultaneously praise and warn the Senate on its fiscal responsibility kick that it has been on for the past 3-4 Sessions.

The President said, "We should not be chained to the cross of fiscal responsibility, particularly now as our country suffers through war, and domestic disaster."  It is unknown to who he was referring to in these comments, except for the whole of the Senate and the leadership in Atlasia and it is unknown how these comments will affect future Presidents, if at all.

At the same time, President Siege40 laid out the legacy that he wished his administration be remembered with, specifically within the specter of the role of the President within Atlasian government.

He said firmly, "Many speak of the Presidency as if it were broken, as if our whole system is somehow not working and that it has all gone terribly wrong. It is my opinion that the role of the President is merely to ensure that the Senate remains on course and that no extreme or radical action is taken under his or her watch. I believe I did this."

Strong words from a former Senator, former Secretary of State and soon-to-be former President who wished in his final major speech, as always, that Atlasia be left in good stead and that its governmental leadership be strong and diligent.
MAS117 Nominated as new Secretary of Defense

Many Citizens Let Their Feelings Be Known in Raucous Senate Hearing

On Thursday, President Siege40 nominated MAS117 to be his new Secretary of Defense, replacing Ben Meyers, who had become rather inactive of late and had then resigned.

On Friday, the official Senate questioning began and boy, did it begin. 

Senator Al asked the first question: "What exactly is it that you do?", referring to MAS's hairstyle, I guess.  Nominee MAS117 did not answer the question.

Next, Senatorial candidate Jake asked, "I've heard several analysts call for the ending of the CVNX next generation aircraft carrier project to make funds availible elsewhere in the budget. What's your opinion on that?"

MAS117 responded, "I know what your trying to do Jake, and I don't appreciate it. This is a place for the Senate, and as far as I know, your not in it. Usually we like to respect the rules, for the office in which your running. However, I will go ahead and answer your question anyway."  He then proceeded to provide his answer.

Of course, nominees are not required to provide answers to non-Senators, but that didn't stop Jake from asking two more questions, before he was dragged off the Senate floor and beaten behind chambers.

(The whole event was rather amusing, actually.)

It is unknown whether MAS117 will be successfully nominated.  Sen. True Independent has already voiced his opposition and undoubtedly others will follow, as did Keystone "Guardian of Atlasia's Moral Standards" Phil soon afterwards.

It is doubtful whether anyone will actually pay attention to Keystone Phil's opinion, other than Mike Naso, but it's always good for a laugh.

[Sam Spade]

Welcome to the SAM News Network, and this is your host, Larry King, for another great SAM News Network program...

Larry King: Sort of Alive and Kicking
and Married to a Mormon



This week, we are pleased at Larry King: Sort of Alive and Kicking
and Married to a Mormon to be joined each night by each Atlasian Presidential candidate for a heart-to-heart interview, which will delve deeper into the candidate's soul and mind, more than you would normally get from a debate or something else.

Tonight our interviewee is former Mideast governor...

**Joe Republic**

Larry King:  Welcome, Mr. Joe Republic.

Joe Republic:  Hi Larry, thank you for me inviting me here tonight.

Larry King:  It's a pleasure to be here also.

Let's start with the questioning...

A two-part question to start off with:

What is the most important issue facing the Republic of Atlasia today in your opinion, and if elected President, what would you do concerning that issue?

Joe Republic:  Increasing inactivity, caused by decreasing interest in Atlasia and in politics in general.  Unfortunately there's very little any of us can do about the latter problem, but I intend to try and fix the former.  Being active and trying to restore power back into our highest office is one thing... well okay, two... but leading the way in making fantasy politics more fun is a great deal more important, in a way.  At the risk of seeming cryptic, I plan to fulfil those first two pledges I mentioned, and also provide the occasional dash of harmless controversy to keep people paying attention.

Larry King:  You don't seem quite cryptic to me, and I'm so close to the grave I can feel the formaldahyde creeping in.

(laughs)

In November, the final draft of the federal budget for the Fiscal Year 2006 will be approved.

As President, how do you intend to address the problems faced by Atlasia in this year's budget?

Joe Republic:  In the ongoing presidential debate I touched on this issue, and I'm happy to repeat it here.  The "problems faced by Atlasia in this year's budget" are a lot different from what you had in mind, in my view.

The main problem that I see is that there is no realism in Atlasian economics.  I mean sure, the GM provides financial news updates regularly, and some Senators or the Treasury Secretary might choose to respond to them, or not.  But in the end, the economic state of Atlasia doesn't really have any effect whatsoever on how we judge individual candidates or past officeholders.

If elected, I'll be delegating the task of budget policy to my Treasury Secretary appointee, to keep things ticking over in the short term.  However, I'll also be discussing with him/her the possibility of creating a simple monetary exchange system, based loosely on real life.  You can expect more details on this in my campaign.

Larry King:  I'm sure our chairman will be waiting to hear those details, to see how much he wants you to suffer. 

(laughs)

(puzzled look from staff)

This week, the Senate passed a modified version of CAFTA, after heated debate.  Investors in Atlasian markets viewed it as a positive step, but others worried that its revised simplicity could lead to various problems such as lax copyright protection and environmental damage dealing with trade between the countries.

A two-part question:

First, how do you personally view free trade agreements such as NAFTA and CAFTA and their effect upon Atlasian business interests and manufacturing jobs?  And second, do you believe that the CAFTA agreement passed by the Senate and signed by the President was in the best interests of Atlasia as a whole?

Joe Republic:  I have always been in support of international free trade agreements in theory, despite my reservations over various unethical practises used overseas, and as long as they have a significant positive effect on Atlasia.  Unfortunately, the evidence suggests that the effect of NAFTA since its introduction has not been wholly positive.  I should point to the hundreds of thousands of Atlasian jobs that have been lost as evidence.

The modified (and simplified) CAFTA bill that recently passed the Senate was definitely a step in the right direction, in my opinion.  But it appears we'll have to wait and see what effect it'll have.  If it is in any way negative, or otherwise damaging to Atlasian interests, then I'll pledge to repeal it.

Larry King:  Interesting answer.

Many in Atlasian society and government have complained about the weakness of the Presidential office under the past three Presidents.

Another two-part question:

Do you believe that the Presidency of Atlasia is weaker than it should be, and if so, how would you strengthen the office?

Joe Republic:  The closet libertarian in me always yells at me whenever I say it, but yes, the Atlasian presidency is a great deal weaker than it should be.  As you've probably already guessed, I've made this quite a central plank in my campaign.

As I mentioned earlier, keeping active is just one part of it.  But I intend to implement a few slight changes to the balance of power between the Senate and Executive, so that it becomes just that: a balance.

Interview continued in next post...

[Sam Spade]

Larry King:  Next question.

During your campaign, you have proposed that the President be given the ability to introduce legislation to the floor of the Senate.  As I'm sure you're well aware, this will require the tacit approval of the Senate through an amendment to the Official Senate Procedural Resolution.

A two-part question:

Do you intend on being active in using this new power to introduce legislation in front of the Senate, and if so, what legislation do you have in mind to introduce during your administration?

Joe Republic:  To the first question: absolutely.  I can't stress that enough.

To the second question: I already have a few ideas in mind.  I intend to follow through with the Voting Reform Commission's proposals, which have so far been ignored.  I'll also be reviewing some of our social "wedge" legislation, with regards to the federal/regional balance that exists.  Again, I'll be explaining this in more detail in my campaign speeches.

Larry King:  Former Governor Joe Republic, you are presently running as an independent and have always been an independent, certainly worthy of respect. 

Independents also make up the largest class of voters in Atlasian politics.

Yet in past Presidential elections, Independent candidates have often struggled, and it is doubtful that you will receive the endorsement of any major party or political organization.

How do you intend to turn this long-term trend around and make it so that your candidacy will be successful in the face of these failures from other Independent candidates in the past?

Joe Republic:  As you are probably already aware, I have no interest in party allegiances or pandering to what one here-today-gone-tomorrow party has to say, and never have.  I've always believed in voting with my conscience for individual candidates.  I am confident that the more clear-headed, open-minded Atlasians out there will agree with me, and support my truly non-partisan outlook.

Larry King:  I'm sure they will.  Maybe one day I'll run for office too, with Keystone Phil as my running mate, so that we can piss off everyone simultaneously.

(laughs)

During your term as Governor of the Mideast, there were questions from certain Atlasian citizens dealing with the July election debacle, where the Mideast election in July simply did not occur.

How will you reassure those voters who have questioned your actions in that situation that a similar situation might not occur during a Joe Republic administration?

Joe Republic:  My conduct in July was an unfortunate result of personal issues that crossed over into my participation in the game.  I would rather not discuss exactly what they were, but they were unforeseen, and I couldn't really do much about it either.  Regardless, I apologized for my inactivity back then, and I went on to rectify the problems I'd caused.

Although I can't predict the future, I know that the same problem will not reoccur during my presidency.  I can assure the voters that my high activity will remain paramount.

Larry King:  A fair enough answer, for sure.  We've certainly seen enough inactive Presidents in my lifetime for a lifetime.

I realize that I promised to not repeat any questions, but this question that I gave to LiberalPA bears repeating in my mind.

Your campaign has not mentioned much about foreign policy, choosing to focus on other issues, such as forum affairs and the like.

The final two-part question, I promise: 

For our viewers across the nation, what are your basic foreign policy views and how would you presently handle the situation in Iraq and across the Middle East region?

Joe Republic:  I will state for the record that I am a firm supporter, if not a very vocal one, of the War on Terrorism.  Although my support for the Iraq War has always been restrained at best, I strongly believe that we have a responsibility to ensure that the nation becomes a stable, free democracy, with any terrorist insurgency fully stamped out.  I also support taking a firm stance on other 'rogue' nations, as part of the ongoing War on Terrorism.

Larry King:  Ok, since we are short on time, let's skip to the final few questions.

What is the greatest asset that you believe your running mate brings to your ticket?

Joe Republic:  Added competence and credibility.  Senator Defarge is a well-respected, level-headed statesman with a proven record of excellence.  I am confident that in the unlikely event that anything should happen to me, he would serve as Atlasia's President with distinction.  In the mean time, I'll be proud to call him my Vice President.

Larry King:  If you and your running mate were to drop out of the Presidential race, which candidate would you support and why?

Joe Republic:  Well first I should state for the record that I have no intention of dropping out of the race.

However, of the other candidates in the race, I feel that Emsworth would be the most suitable and qualified for the role.  Although the intelligence and vocabulary of the 16-year-old scares me a little, he's still competent and very active.

Larry King:  Well, Emsworth quite scares us all.  If I was that smart when I was sixteen, I'd be running this damn network, instead of listening to orders from above.

Final question...

Do horrible events like Hurricane Katrina ever cause you to doubt your faith?

Joe Republic:  The Hurricane Katrina catastrophe was truly a shocking series of events for all of us, and I was horrified to hear of the level of death and destruction that it caused.

As for my religious beliefs with regard to the disaster, I would prefer to keep them personal.  It would be inappropriate for me to comment on the plans of a higher power to try and win election 'points'.

Larry King:  That's ok, Joe Republic.  It's just the standard question I ask any guest regardless of topic.  It helps me with my own doubts.

(laughs)

Thank you, Joe Republic, for the interview and good night Atlasia.

Joe Republic:  Thank you as well, Larry, for the invigorating interview.  It's been a pleasure to be here tonight. 

Larry King:  Thanks.  Good night all yet again!

[Sam Spade]

Welcome to the SAM News Network, and this is your host, Larry King, for another great SAM News Network program...

Larry King: Sort of Alive and Kicking
and Married to a Mormon



This week, we are pleased at Larry King: Sort of Alive and Kicking
and Married to a Mormon to be joined each night by each Atlasian Presidential candidate for a heart-to-heart interview, which will delve deeper into the candidate's soul and mind, more than you would normally get from a debate or something else.

Tonight our interviewee is former Southeast governor...

**Ron Dubya**

Larry King:  Welcome, Ron Dubya.

Ron Dubya:  It's good to be here, Larry and thank you for having me on this wonderful show.

Larry King:  It's a pleasure to be here also.

You're a busy man, so let's get to the questions before the polls open.

A two-part question to start off with:

What is the most important issue facing the Republic of Atlasia today in your opinion, and if elected President, what would you do concerning that issue?

Ron Dubya:  Actually, I believe that terrorism and the deficit are both issues of great concern.  I will confront the threat of terrorism by increasing both missile defense by building more anti-ballistic systems and expanding the Special Forces of our military through volunteer recruitment of regular combat units.  I plan to address the deficit with reductions in expenditures and leading the Senate toward fiscal responsibility.

Larry King:  Ok, next question...

In November, the final draft of the federal budget for the Fiscal Year 2006 will be approved.

As President, how do you intend to address the problems faced by Atlasia in this year's budget?

Ron Dubya:  I don't quite understand the question.  Are you speaking of the overall deficit or specific line items in the budget?

Larry King:  I was speaking of the overall deficit, Mr. Dubya, but that's ok, and as we are short of time, let's move to the next question.

Staying with the economy...

You have pledged as President to propose introducing a national sales tax to simplify tax collecting and payment and lower taxes.

Recently, a report came out saying that sales tax revenues had declined sharply at the Regional level due to a number of things, but most likely the elimination of the minimum wage.

Two questions concerning this, and these are sort of long questions:

Considering the lowered tax revenues at the Regional level through sales taxes, how do you plan to lower Atlasia's tax burden through a National Sales Tax without decreasing revenues and without shifting a greater burden to the poor, as sales taxes often do?

Also, considering the large amount of revenue at the Regional level that is already received through sales taxes, how do you propose to balance the National Sales Tax with Regional sales taxes so that the possibility of lessened consumer spending is not a result?

Ron Dubya:  Well, the truth is, I don't know yet.  My tax proposal is still in its early stages, and I plan to work with the Senate to develop it further.  Those are mighty valid concerns, and I'll do my best to see that they're addressed when the final draft is worked out. Two options I'm considering are going to a flat tax, instead of a National Sales Tax, or instituting a Price Gouger Tax.  I ain't decided yet, and won't be till I sit down with the Senate.

Larry King:  Price Gouger Tax?  Sounds very unkosher to me.

(laughs)

You have also stated in your campaign that the federal government's only responsibility should be within Defense; I presume National Defense.

How do you resolve this position with your running mate's comments that the federal government should be involved in other affairs, such as health care?

Ron Dubya:  Actually, that was my old Spending policy.  When I appointed HTMLDon, he challenged my views on some things, as you implied, and brought up some points that I had over looked.  Here is my current spending policy.  I know this might seem like flip-flopping to some, but if I am elected, I plan to listen closely to my advisors and cabinet members (instead of just shooting from the hip) before making a final decision, which is what I have done here.

Larry King:  Thanks for the clarification, Mr. Dubya.  We're going to have to go skewer our researchers with hot coals during the break for making that mistake.

(laughs)

(puzzled look from staff)

Next question.

Many in Atlasian society and government have complained about the weakness of the Presidential office under the past three Presidents.

Another two-part question:

Do you believe that the Presidency of Atlasia is weaker than it should be, and if so, how would you strengthen the office?

Ron Dubya:  Yes, I do believe that the Presidents as of late have taken a back seat to the Senate.  This is wrong.  I will strengthen this office by being a strong leader and actively participating in the law-making process of this Republic.

Larry King:  Sounds good.  A strong leader and a take-charge man.

During your campaign, you have proposed an amendment that essentially would give the President power to overturn a Senate veto, which I'm not sure what that means, by a popular referendum.

Yet another two-part question:

First, could you please describe to the people of Atlasia your proposal in greater detail, and I am also curious, how do you plan to resolve the question that will certainly be raised that this essentially would turn every bill into a popular initiative, weakening the power of all executive and legislative institutions?

Ron Dubya:  Well, my proposal is simple.  If the Senate passes a bill, but the President vetoes it, they can overturn that veto.  Well, I plan to extend that power to the President, i.e., if he proposes a bill to the Senate, but they vote it down, he can present it to the People for a vote.  Of course this would require a Constitutional Amendment, so it would have to be ratified by the Regions.

As for the concern that it would weaken the Presidency, or the Senate, I believe in trusting the People.  We are, after all, a Government of the People, for the People, and by the People.  I think it's time we took that phrase a little more seriously, and reminded the politicians in Nyman whose country this really is.

Interview continued in next post...

[Sam Spade]

Larry King:  Certainly a fair enough, and clear enough answer, Mr. Dubya, though I'm sure our chairman will disagree.

You have campaigned under the self-proclaimed title of being a "libertarian conservative".

Yet in your campaign, you have proposed to enact legislation that "requires ports and airports to run every one of their incoming and outgoing passengers names against terrorist watch lists", presumably because of security concerns.

How would you respond to those "libertarians" who say that this type of legislation would unfairly restrict citizens and endanger their civil liberties?

Ron Dubya:  I do not believe this unjustly infringes anyone's Civil Liberties.  I hold the Constitution, the Declaration of Independence, and the Bill of Rights, in high esteem.  However, all I am proposing is that we take a closer look at the ID of passengers, and refine the security procedures of this country's transit system, so that we do not allow those with known ties to terrorism to roam about freely. 

Also, I have a plan to prevent any extra security measures from restricting travellers.  I will enlist the FBI, as well as other Federal Agencies (such as the Air Marshalls,) to help perform security checks at air and seaports.  This will prevent delays while insuring efficient and effective security.

Larry King:  Another security question.

You have proposed a rather strong border policy that will increase border security by increasing border patrol and sealing off the border by placing motion detectors and security cameras along the border, among other ideas.

Yet, it is almost certain that if illegal immigrants wish to cross the border, they will find a way across somehow.

This is sort of a theoretical question, but here it is.

If given a choice between having dramatically lowered illegal immigrant numbers and a few terrorists crossing the border or having relatively similar illegal immigrant numbers to today, but stopping terrorists from crossing into Atlasia, which would you choose and why?

Ron Dubya:  Stopping terrorists, hands down.  I will always remember September Eleventh, 2001, and I don't want the future generations to endure homeland attacks such as those.  This is why Priority Number One in my administration will be to continue to take the fight to the terrorists and securing Atlasia at home.

Larry King:  Since we are short of time, let's run through the final few questions, so that we can go home:

What is the greatest asset that you believe your running mate brings to your ticket?

Ron Dubya:  A different point of view and a wealth of experience; that's why I picked him.

Larry King:  If you and your running mate were to drop out of the Presidential race, which candidate would you support and why?'

Ron Dubya:  Supersoulty or Joe.  Both are good friends and would make excellent Presidents.

Larry King:  And now for the final question:

Do horrible events like Hurricane Katrina ever cause you to doubt your faith?

Ron Dubya:  Actually, my faith is what helps me to get through things like Katrina.  I don't know how those who don't believe in a God who will help those affected can bear it.  I'm by no means an evangelical, or Bible thumper, but I do rely greatly on my faith and prayer to give me strength and courage.  Thank you for your patience in conducting this interview.

Larry King:  Thank you, Ron Dubya, for the interview and good night Atlasia.

Ron Dubya:  Same to you, Larry.

Larry King:  Thanks.  Goodnight all yet again.

[Sam Spade]

October 20, 2005

News Across Atlasia

By Clark Kent
Presidential Race in Final Few Days

Campaigns Make Final Campaign Stops, Gains Endorsements

As the final few days of Campaign October 2005 come to a close, Presidential and Vice-Presidential candidates are campaigning hard to a potential victorious close for one of the tickets.

This means giving speeches and gaining endorsements.  On Tuesday, the Emsworth/Q campaign received the endorsement of the powerful National Rifle Association (NRA), an endorsement that will potentially help the Emsworth campaign greatly.  NRA members make up nearly 1/5th of the Atlasian voter rolls and tend to show up in great numbers on polling day.

Meanwhile, the Presidential debate raged on over the past few days.  Although all candidates have responded and been active, the debate has not reached the importance or the fever of previous elections.  The VP debate seemed more exciting, perhaps because Senator Ebowed interrupted the proceedings and pissed off VP candidate htmldon again and the relative absence of Speed of Sound's running mate skybridge. 

Highly amusing.

Latest polls show the tickets of Joe Republic/Defarge and Emsworth/Q at the top of the pile, followed by Dubya/htmldon and Supersoulty/Frodo.  Dubya/htmldon seems to suffer from "Keystone Phil" syndrome, where they have strong 1st preference vote, but are weak in lower preferences, perhaps due to Dubya's running mate.  On the other hand, Supersoulty/Frodo are suffering from "2nd preference syndrome", where they receive a great amount of 2nd preferences, but not enough 1sts to make it past the early rounds.

Stay with The Daily Planet for election coverage this weekend as the elections begin on Friday.
Around the World with Jimmy Olsen

By Jimmy Olsen
Iraqi Constitution Vote A Success

High Turnout and Exit Polls Show Constitution Likely to Be Passed

On Saturday, the Iraqi Constitution met with the voters of Iraq for approval.  Although little will be known until this Friday, most things looked up for those who wish to see democracy succeed in Iraq.

The vote on Saturday was marked by high turnout and little violence, which had not been the mark of previous days while the Constitution was being written. 

As expected, the Shiite majority are expected to approve the document overwhelmingly, whereas the Sunni minority will disapprove, but not in great enough numbers to reach the necessary 2/3 in any 3 of Iraq's 18 provinces to derail the Constitutional process. 

Early results show that the Constitution was disapproved of greatly in the Sunni provinces of Anbar and Salahadin, but was being approved of in the other Sunni province of Nineveh.  All other provinces are expected to widely approve the Constitution, with early results in many Shiite provinces being over 90% in approval.

Turnout was over 66% in the three major provinces and preliminary turnout estimates were at 61%, a 3% increase from the 58% turnout of January elections.

President Siege40 had positive words for the Iraqis after their vote in his monthly State of the Union speech, saying, "This weekend the Iraqi people have voted on their constitution, and at this moment the votes are being counted, and soon we will know whether our attempts to democratize that nation have succeeded. It is my hope that with a permanent government of Iraq in place by 2006, our troops will be able to come home soon. Of course, we should not just decide immediately to withdraw, we should take a slower more concerted effort to see how this new nation among the world develops."

Iraqi Prime Minister Ibrahim al-Jaafari agreed with Siege40's assessment, saying after casting his ballot, "The constitution is a sign of civilization.  This constitution has come after heavy sacrifices. It is a new birth."

From The Daily Planet Editorial Board

By Perry White
Choose Wisely

Reprint of June 16, 2005 Editorial

In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, the ancient Knight who is charged with guarding the Holy Grail tells Indiana Jones and his Nazi foe that to find the Grail, they must choose from one of the many cup laid out before them.  Cups of solid gold, sterling silver, bejeweled cups, every kind of treasure laden mug you could imagine.  The Knight then tells both of them to "Choose wisely." cautioning that while the right choice will bring eternal life, the wrong choice will bring its opposite.

The Nazi chooses the most comically dazzling of the cups, solid gold encrusted with rubys.  He pays for this choice with his life.  "He chose poorly." Mutters the solemn Knight.  Indiana chooses a meager wooden grail, the cup of a carpenter.  He drinks and lives.  "You have chosen wisely" says the Knight.

In less than six hours, you will all (hopefully all of you, anyway) go to the polls to vote in this election for President and Senate.  You will choose the man who will guide this nation through a troubled time.  Recession, war, cultural decline, a dearth of quality leaders to fill our posts, a hollow Presidency as an institution, etc.  My words to you are not an endorsement, but a caution: Choose wisely, my friends, choose wisely.

Some candidates for office like to bedazzle you with fancy ads, clever lines, speeches they hope are just barely long enough to keep you from actually reading them, and shallow attempts to create a buzz.  Don't be fooled by the scandals, the outbursts, the punch lines, or the reputations.  Look deeper, look at the man.  Will he keep his word?  Will he be dedicated?  Will he put the Republic before all else?  Is he a flashy campaigner who fools you with the panache and style our shallow side wants from a would be President, or is he the humble carpenter who has the honor and dignity we really need from a leader?  In the end, like Indiana Jones, we'll have to drink from the cup to find out.

Choose wisely.

[Sam Spade]

Midgard Wire Services

NYMAN - Early results in the October 2005 Presidential Election show Joe Republic with an strong lead, with final numbers of Joe Republic/Defarge leading Emsworth/Q 40-26, with 52 eligible voters left.

[Sam Spade]

October 24, 2005

Top Story

Disputed Election Results Sweep Across Atlasia

Who Won?  Joe Republic or Emsworth?

By Clark Kent

After holding a sizable lead in early results yesterday, early this morning it appeared that the ticket of Joe Republic/Defarge had lost a close race to the ticket of Emsworth/Q.

This occurred primarily through the last-minute votes of certain forum members that propelled that ticket among early-round preferential voting above Joe Republic.

Early in the morning, DSoFA Alcon made the comment below:

"I am certifying the Presidential results at:

Emsworth 44
Supersoulty 38

I am pretty sure about this total, but if there is an error, I can correct the certification, I believe.  Emsworth definitely won, though."

Seemingly unaware of Article 8, Section 4 of the Unified Electoral Code Act, which allows only one certification of the election vote, later on in the day Alcon appeared to rescind his earlier certification, saying...

"I am Deputy SoFA.  I can certify the results, but I'm not supposed to make decisions like these - that is the SoFA's job, honestly, unless they are totally unable to complete it,"

and acting like the vote had not yet been certified.

Meanwhile, SoFA ilikeverin has been nearly silent in the controversy, preferring to only say...

"I'm working on counting and everything as we speak.  Just a FYI.

But, thanks to all the questions raised, this could take a while.  As in I-cannot-finish-it-tonight a while."

Our chairman is certainly blowing his top off right now at the incompetence of the forum affairs administrators at present, especially as he tried, during his last Senate term to run off ilikeverin for his so-called "incompetant" handling of the August elections.

Meanwhile, no one knows who is going to win and where, so stay tuned to The Daily Planet for continual coverage of this major event.

[Sam Spade]

October 25, 2005

Top Story

Atlasian Chaos

Joe Republic Certified as Winner by Ilikeverin/Many Midwest Citizens Secede/Emsworth Assumes Presidency

By Clark Kent

Chaos has reigned in Atlasia the past few days for any number of reasons:  the concession of both Presidential candidates who might have won the contest, the seeming incompetence of the Secretary of Forum Affairs Department, the absence of President Siege40 and now the secession of many members of the Midwest Region from Atlasia.

The last two events came to the forefront, as the Cabinet quickly decided to declare President Siege40 inactive and make Emsworth President to handle the secession of parts of the Midwest.

The secession movement was started today by Governor Cheezewhiz (who resigned his position soon afterwards) who said the following:

"I declare the states of Montana, Wyoming, Iowa, Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota, Kansas, Nebraska, Colorado and Oklahoma part of a free and independent Nation, West Atlasia.

A couple of Midwesterners, (who will remain nameless unless they wish to reveal themselves,) approached me with the idea of secession.   The game just isn’t fun every time we get close to an election, and that’s supposed to be the best part.  If this ruins me forever in Fantasy Politics, so be it, because that’s exactly what I’m standing up against; those who take this game seriously enough to lie, cheat and bring people down.  That kind of filth will not be allowed into West Atlasia!  We will be a nation that stands for fun, not one that gets hung up on technicality.  We will be a people that realize this is a game, and that it comes second to real life.  We will be a place where personal attacks and using dishonest means to win an election will not be stood for!  If you agree with this, if you agree with what this nation will be built upon, then join our cause!  Rebel against the hatred, spite and evil that has filled our nation.  Restore what Fantasy Politics was meant for:  Fun.

Thank you, and goodnight!"

There were virulent supporters who joined the cause, such as DanielX, Clay and Everett and those who virulently denounced the effort, such as SoD MAS117, Governor EarlAW (Northeast) and Governor Jas (Midwest).

SoD MAS was particularly peeved at efforts to secede, calling on Atlasian troops to join in breaking the secession, but that idea was becoming less popular at the end of the day, as President Emsworth appeared to be pushing more towards a diplomatic solution.

In particular, a resolution entitled "Senate Resolution on Voting Reform" was urged to be passed unanimously by the Senate and had five votes by the time this paper went to press.

The Atlasian stock markets took the chaos extremely bad today, dropping nearly 750 points before trading was manually stopped on news of the secession.  Traders appeared to remember the horror and chaos of the former Secession in April and moved to recoup their gains before the bottom fell out.

Stay tuned to The Daily Planet for continuing news on this breaking event.

[Sam Spade]

October 20, 2005

Top Story

West Atlasia Secessionists Back Off On Aggressive Action

Group Forms Camp in Middle of Colorado Wilderness, Declares Republic of West Atlasia

By Clark Kent

Over the past couple of days, the actions of a few Atlasians who call themselves West Atlasians has driven the country to a standstill with talks of secession and other potential vagaries should governmental officials not meet their demands.

Financial markets have been in terrible shape, with the DOW losing nearly 1500 points over the last three days due to fears of the secessionists' activity and the reminders of the activities of StatesRights nearly six months ago.

However, today, these fears seem to be subsiding.  Why?  Although a few of the secessionist leaders still appeared be in open rebellion against the Republic, other leaders such as DanielX, Everett and afleitch seemed to be waning in their march against the hated bureaucracy in Nyman.

With a new Midwest executive strongly in control, under the leadership of former Lt. Governor Jas, the secessionists have withdrawn into the Colorado wilderness with their leader General Cheesewhiz, and appear to be planning and plotting a new utopian Internet forum in the wilderness which they call the "Republic of West Atlasia".

At the same time, they wish to retain and carry on their old citizenship in the familiar country of the Republic of Atlasia.  The question for the outgoing President Siege40 and the incoming President Joe Republic is whether these dual loyalties constitute a threat to the Atlasian Republic.

It seems apparent that the secessionists pose very little threat right now encamped in the middle of the Colorado wilderness, as they seem content on plotting and planning their new "Republic of West Atlasia".  The real question though, is whether this plotting and planning will turn into a grave threat anytime soon.

Although the secessionist leaders have spoken of the need to live peacefully together, they have also openly talked of open rebellion should their needs and wishes not be met.  It is widely assumed by inside-the-Beltway types in Nyman that Joe Republic has greater sympathies to their cause the outgoing President Siege40 and it is quite possible that the secessionist leaders are simply waiting for Joe Republic to take the lead in Nyman so that their goals can be met.

As for right now, however, much is uncertain.  Though the markets stabilized today as the secessionist leaders formed camp in the Colorado wilderness, a return to hostilities could lead to an even weaker Atlasia and a weaker government in Nyman.

In the next couple of days, this reporter will try to head to the secessionists' outpost in rural Colorado to get an interview with their leader and set the record straight on the secessionists' goals, intentions and wants for the future of Atlasia.

From The Daily Planet Editorial Board

By Perry White
In Support of "Evil" Actions and Bad People

Fun Comes in Many Different Packages

In the past few days, we have seen a gaggle of Atlasian citizens attempt to take the government not by force, not by legitimate means, but by threatening to leave unless we do what they want us to do.

All in the name of fun.

Who the hell is it who thinks they have the right to tell others, including me, what is fun and what isn't fun?  For some people, the antics of the Atlasian clown Mike Naso is fun, for others, the intellectual workings of the Senate, for even more, elections are what is truly fun about Atlasia. 

Everyone has a different definition what fun really is.  But for the secessionists, what is truly fun is that which is good, simple and clean, which does not involve destroying people's reputations, does not involve lying, cheating or stealing to win an election, does not involve discounting someone's vote on a technicality.

Does that mean this definition of fun is what all Atlasians who play this game find fun?  I would sincerely hope not.  It is precisely what these secessionists find as not being fun about Atlasia that I find is the most entertaining part of this whole country.

Most of the greatest and most fun events involve tearing down posters' reputations, winning elections on technicalities and lying, stealing or cheating to win, in fact I would say if these events didn't occur every so often, the place would become plain boring.

What would we have to talk about?  Keystone Phil couldn't bring up the whole Girl Gone Wild thing once every week.  Peter Bell couldn't bring up the whole Civil War nonsense.  Akno21 would still be respected member of this board, instead of going down to crushing defeat as he did a few days ago.

This game is about politics; it is not about RPGs, it is not about being open and inclusive; it is not about being easy to understand.  It is about politics and rules and laws and all of these things involve that which the secessionists insist are not fun about Atlasia.  And each Atlasian together plays a part in making this a live and active political climate, where all the nasty things that I refer to above occur, consistently and regularly.

Let me say this:  Atlasia is certainly not perfect; it needs reform, personal care and thought about its future and the future of its government.  But for us to remake Atlasia precisely because of what a few people think is fun about the place will leave considerably more of the citizens of Atlasia to not have a fun time at all.

[Sam Spade]

October 30, 2005

Business Beat

By Lois Lane
Wait and See Attitude Prevails in Financial Markets

Investors Wait Anxiously on Economic News, New President

With the secessionist actions of certain leaders of Atlasia's Midwest Region in the past week, investors took no chances in the recurrence of a StatesRights debacle, and quickly drew their money out of the stock market, leaving the Dow Jones nearly 1500 points lower than it was the week before. 

On Friday, the market recovered about 350 points of that loss, as it became more clear that the secessionists were no longer an effective threat to the country hiding out in the middle of the Colorado wilderness, but some were still nervous.

Most importantly, they were nervous about the economic figures scheduled to be released next week.  The last time Atlasia had had a secession crisis like this past week, the GDP of Atlasia had dropped for the month and unemployment and inflation had risen. 

They were also concerned about the lessening of consumer spending and were wondering whether minimum wage initatives now on the books in the Pacific and Southeast would help end the decline.

Certain investors spoke publicly in worried tones about Senate bills to ban asbestos sales and drastically uptick fuel efficiency in cars.  They spoke of a "devastating, if not catastrophic impact to the Atlasian car industry" if the Senate passed the present version of the Fuel Efficiency Bill and of "endangering the future payout of asbestos lawsuits" with the Asbestos Ban Bill.

Most importantly, all investors were concerned about the soon-to-be-enacted Budget for FY 2006, with the possibility of raising taxes in order to cover the shortfall and meet balanced budget requirements.   

They also spoke in worried tones about the new President, Joe Republic, who to them seemed little concerned about the Atlasian economy and more involved with the "ubiquituous" and "never-ending" problems of revamping the country's voting laws.

All in all, it is not a good time to be an Atlasian investor right now.  And until some of these questions are answered, it appears like there will very little light at the end of the tunnel for a while.

Regional Roundup

By Lola Barnett
Northeast GovernorOrders Halt of Death Penalty

Some Criticize, Others Applaud

The death penalty is an issue in Atlasia's history that has a very interesting track.  Originally, the Death Penalty Abolition Act was supposed to eliminate the Death Penalty in Atlasia.  It did for a while, until the Fritz v. Ernest decision, which limited the Act to the federal government and gave Regions the ability to handle justice within their boundaries.

As of right now, only the Southeast and the Northeast Regions have the death penalty on the books right now, and Senator Ebowed, a outspoken opponent of the death penalty, has put another initiative on the ballot in the Southeast to outlaw the death penalty. 

With noted death penalty supporters, chairman and CEO of this company Sam Spade, as well as former governor Dubya taking vacations out of the SoutheastRegion for the next few months, this initative looks more likely to pass than ever before.

This leaves us with the Northeast.  On Saturday of this week, Governor EarlAW ordered a halt on all executions pending new legislation on the deaht penalty. 

As of the printing of this article, no legislation had yet been presented on repealing the death penalty and still has not.  This earned the fire of former Governor MAS117, who said, "If you want to abolish the death penalty put up a vote and not this. I urge the Governor to rescind his order." 

Other Northeasterners, such as Keystone Phil, Fezzyfastoon and Boss Tweed spoke out strongly against the Governor's unanimous order, shy of any such vote or even legislation on the process.

However, certain forum members were extremely pleased with the move.  Pacific citizen hughento and Southeast citizens Ebowed and htmldon lent their support, as well as a fellow member of the Northeast, Texasgurl.

As the citizens of the Northeast expect legislation soon on repeal of the death penalty, it might not be long before the death penalty will be a thing of the past in Atlasia.

[Sam Spade]

October 31, 2005

Inside the Beltway

By Dirk Armstrong
With Defarge Resignation, District 1 Special Election Heats Up

Four Candidates in Running, Result Uncertain

As Senator Defarge left his seat and prepared to become Vice-President of Atlasia, four members of the District announced their candidacy and prepared for battle, nominations and the eventual election.

First to join in the fun was Ben Meyers, who made an acknowledged carpetbagging manuever in order to run for the seat, moving from Florida to New York in order to make himself legal and eligible.

He started off his campaign by announcing that he would introduce legislation to get rid of NAFTA and CAFTA immediately, remarks that drew praise from his own colleagues in the Christian Democrat Party and derision from others.  He also acknowledged his inadequacy in his stint as Defense Department Secretary, but also promised not to let the same thing happen as Senator.

Next to enter the contest was Fezzyfastoon, an ACA citizen from New Jersey, who proceeded to get in a rather long and drawn-out argument with another entry into the race, Texasgurl.

Fezzyfastoon has at the top of his platform a proposal for voting reform which will bring the electoral college to Atlasia in a modified way.  ALthough this idea has support from citizens like Bono and 9iron, it has been opposed by incoming Senator hughento and Q, among others.

The third to declare his candidacy was none other than one of the original founders of Atlasian politics, Boss Tweed.  He has carefully made sure to point this out more than once in his campaign speeches, implying that "new Atlasia" needs a little bit of the old and that he can provide that.

Top on his list of ideas is also voting reform.  Tweed has proposed a move to Louisiana-style voting, FPTP with runoff, and has stated his opposition to secret ballots because of the potential for voting fraud.  He has also issued strong warnings against the West Atlasian contigent camped up in the Colorado wilderness for the last five days and threatened to revoke their citizenship.

Finally on the list of candidates is Texasgurl, long-time citizen of Atlasia and a former Senator.  Texasgurl has not laid out many new ideas and plans, but has run instead on her experience and her ability to work with others.

She has also made avowed comments to make sure and stand up against the "right-wing Senate", as she calls it, though astute observers have noted in her past Senate tenure the potential to vote with the most conservative Senators on odd issues, such as guns and drug issues, along with Bono's infamous budget proposal.

As to how this race will turn out, no one knows as of yet and no one has any ideas.  One thing's for sure, it will certainly be very close.

[Sam Spade]

November 2, 2005

News Across Atlasia

By Clark Kent
Midwest Rebels Still Camped Out in Colorado

Although Little Threat Posed at Present, Wall Street Stays Cautious

DENVER -- Although very little threat appears to be posed by the rebels who call themselves "West Atlasia" and who have joined in the Colorado wliderness to form a new government and internet forum they describe as being more fun than Atlasia, the center of the Atlasian economy appears to be taking them extremely seriously.

Part of this has to do with two factors:  One is the remnants of the old StatesRights secession, which devastated the Atlasian economy and drove investors crazy. 

The second has to do with fears on Wall Street that President-elect Joe Republic will spend so much time and energy trying to win back these rebels into the fold through forum affairs reform that he will totally ignore economic concerns and budgetary concerns.

With a strong Treasury Secretary in charge, like Supersoulty has been, the market's fears have been placated by the potential of a strong cabinet member.  However, Joe Republic has yet to announce his cabinet and has yet to give Wall Street an idea that he cares significantly enough about economic affairs to dictate economic policy himself or appoint someone Wall Street trusts to handle economic matters for him.

For this reason, most market watchers insist that until more is know on these two problems, the DOW will stay right at about 7500 and economic growth is likely to be lower when numbers come out on Friday.  After the 350-point gain last Friday, the market has posted unremarkable days lifting the DOW to a level of 7473.23 points finishing on Wednesday.

On this issue, it seems right now that only time will tell what the future will bring.
Around the World with Jimmy Olsen

By Jimmy Olsen
Rioting Engulfs Parisian Suburbs for Eighth Night

Villepin, Sarkozy Stand United Against "Gangs of Thugs"

For the last week under the radar screen of typical Nyman activities, the country of France has been undergoing the worse riots seen in that country since the late 1960s. 

The poor suburbs of Paris, with their massive housing projects have become the place of violence and pent-up frustrations against the French authorities.

Tonight was perhaps the worst yet.

Young rioters set fire to at least 50 vehicles in an eighth night of unrest in the impoverished suburbs of northeastern Paris as exasperated local officials criticised politicking by national leaders.

Rioting erupted again late on Thursday despite hopes that festivities ending the fasting month of Ramadan would calm rioters, many of them Muslims of North African origin protesting against race bias they say keeps them in a second-class status.

Rioting among young men of North African and black African origin -- mostly locally-born citizens who feel cheated by France's official promises of liberty, equality and fraternity -- began last week after two teenagers of African origin died while fleeing the police.

Unemployment among the people of these areas often reaches above 25%, and it has long been thought by many that this lack of employment and direction in the lives of these young men has led to their feelings towards the French government and society in general.

The violence escalated on Wednesday evening when police and fire crews were shot at with live ammunition on three occasions.

Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin and Interior Minister Nicolas Sarkozy, whose bitter political rivalry has overshadowed the government's reaction, teamed up in the French Senate on Thursday to announce that restoring order was their "absolute priority".

Villepin indirectly blamed the riots on gangs he said terrorised residents and sought to keep police out of their neighbourhoods.

"I refuse to accept that organised gangs are laying down the law in certain neighbourhoods, I refuse to accept that crime networks and drug traffickers profit from this disorder, I refuse to accept that the strong intimidate the weak," he said.

"Law and order will have the last word," he told senators.

Sarkozy seconded him, saying: "There is only one political line, that set by the prime minister."
Secretary of State WMS Ends European Trip with Visit to Germany, Meeting With Merkel

Proclaims New Era in Atlasian-German Relations

Secretary of State WMS ended his European trip almost a week ago now, but because of the election concerns in Atlasia of the past week, The Daily Planet has chosen to not cover the affair, until now.

Last Thursday, WMS ended his seven-day trip through Europe, where he visited in Ireland, Denmark, Sweden, Poland, and finally Germany.  It was a trip meant to foster old ties and gain new ones.

And with the naming of Ms. Merkel to be the next chancellor of Germany, the Atlasian government sees an opportunity to renew and foster German-Atlasian relations, which have seen some tough times since the Second Iraq War of nearly 3 years ago.

Ms. Merkel said, "This is a time for Atlasia and Germany to come together, to forget the antagonisms of the old and move forward to the unities of the new day.  We will forge and strengthen our relationship with Atlasia and we will cherish it how it ought to be cherished."

WMS agreed, saying, "The Atlasian government looks forward to working with Germany hand-in-hand for the forseeable future, both economically and militarily, so that we can both share in the great things both our countries have to offer to each other."

The future for Atlasia and Germany together does look strong and will hopefully only get stronger with the ascension of a new President and with a proactive Secretary of State like WMS has been.

[Sam Spade]

November 4, 2005

Top Story

Israeli Prime Minister Sharon Speaks Against Cabinet Appointment

Says Secretary of State Nominee True Independent Will Destabilize Atlasia's Position

By Jimmy Olsen

TEL AVIV -- On Friday, after swearing in as President of Atlasia, Joe Republic went to work quickly announcing his new Cabinet staff to be sent to the Senate for approval. 

Most of the picks were highly approved of by the Senators, except for one, former Senator and President True Independent for Secretary of State.  And now True Independent has another detractor, this one is the Prime Minister of Israel, Ariel Sharon.

That same day, Mr. Sharon spoke to reporters after Cabinet meetings had ended for the afternoon.  He spoke highly of new President Joe Republic and praised his ability to unite others behind his administration even in the face of major troubles a few weeks ago.

But when questioning came to the new Secretary of State nominee True Independent, his tone became worried and harsh.  "True Independent has shown himself in the past to be too open and welcoming to those Palestinians who wish to cause violence among the Israeli peoples.  His plans for making the Israeli government tear down the wall which protects our peoples from Islamic terrorists will never happen, as long as I am prime minister."

"The Israeli people implore the Atlasian President to withdraw this nominee who wishes to bring future violence among our nation and country and facilitate further harbor grounds for those terrorists who wish to bring hate and fear all across the world."

His comments were echoed by a number of close Israeli officials, who pointed out that suicide attacks by Palestinians had dropped nearly 90% since the wall was finished enclosing the Gaza and West Bank Palestinians settlements.

Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas could not be reached for comment, but officials with the Palestinian government said that they looked forward to working with Secretary of State True Independent and welcomed the changing of diplomacy within the White House towards a more and equitable treatment for all peoples within the lands.
From The Daily Planet Editorial Board

By Perry White
They've Never Worked a Day in Their Lives

A New Idea for Term Limit Supreme Court Justices is Introduced

Senator Jake today introduced, as part of his first spate of bills in the Senate, a Constitutional amendment to limit Supreme Court Justice terms to 12 months maximum.  Nowhere is it stated in his bill that Justices may not serve any other 12-month terms, so that will not form part of my editorial.

My first question is, is it necessary?  In the first 1 and 1/2 years of Atlasia's existence, we have had 11 decisions, or 1 decision every 1 and 1/2 months, roughly. 

In these decisions, we have begun to form the tiny basis of precedent which forms some of Atlasia's law.  One of the reasons why this editor felt like the election debacle of two weeks ago needed to go to the Court, was simply in order to resolve some unclarified meanings with regards to language within the Constitution and Atlasian law.

However, instead of this strengthening of precedent, the new overriding priniciple is to rewrite our laws and amend our Constitution in order to make our government simpler and lessen the chance of Supreme Court precedent influencing our lives.

In a flexible and malleable Constitution, this precedent forms the basis of our jurisprudence and the basis on which our legislators actions' will be made.  But this legalistic clarification of what those phrases mean displeases some people, specifically those who believe that the cornerstone of this game is to be "fun" and wish to define whatever is not "fun" as not being desirable to Atlasia.

These same people spoke against the foolishness of Fritz v. Ernest and its simple declaration that you can't make law without the power to make law, but at the same time, they fought hard against the secessionist reaction of StatesRights when he wanted to make law without the power to make law.  Their hypocrisy is that of the most dangerous sort and should be fear by all.

So, what does have to do with Senator Jake's amendment?  Well, in a sense, everything.  There have been countless people who have been terribly unhappy with the SC rulings, who have made entire campaigns out of replacing SC justices with those who might lean more to their liking.

Until now, they've simply had to wait for their chance to choose someone anew and most of them have had their chance from time to time.  But still certain old members remain and sometimes, like in Siege's last administration, they've hardly had the chance to choose anyone at all.

But now, with Jake's new amendment, they will have another weapon, their another method to introduce their political beliefs into the judiciary and the idea of a separate judiciary from politics will at least come closer to being lost and it is certain that this impulse will grow stronger as time moves on.

And that gets us back to precedent.  There are many on this forum right now who are quite unhappy with precedent, with precedent in laws, in SC justices and in the Constitution.

They want to destroy that precedent which has caused to them the destruction of what was once "fun" and great about Atlasia.  And now, if this amendment passes, they may have one more weapon to use.