Forward? – A 2012 Election Game (Gameplay Thread)

[Co-Chair Bagel23]

1st Republican Presidential Debate:

General Questions:

1.- It seems one of the main concerns of rank and file Republicans is the Health Care debate and the issues that come from Obamacare. If elected President, would you repeal Obamacare? What would you replace it with?

I'd once again like to take this opportunity to thank Lumine for this wonderful debate that he has put together, truly great work. Right then, I'll get straight to the point, if elected president, I will seek to completely repeal Obamacare. We don't need a replacement, we need the free market to run its course while lacking red tape. I am on board with Senator Rand Paul on this one, and actually would like to take this time to announce that he is the Chambliss Presidential Campaign selection for HHS Secretary if we are elected.

2.- As unemployment not only fails to drop but increases in some parts of the country, there is a spirited debate about the best way to create new jobs and lower unemployment for good. Why are you a better choice than your fellow candidates when it comes to creating jobs?

Why? Because I am the one to be born into nothing and made a man out of my self. I am the one with the business administration degree from the University of Georgia, I am the one who saw hard work up close as I worked my way through college in a bakery, I am the one who was on the Agriculture committee that had so many job creating innovations, until the job killig democrats took over in '06. I am qualified for this, believe me.

Candidate Specific Question:

7.- To Senator Chambliss: Senator, your campaign has come under very heavy fire over derogatory comments towards Governor Jindal, to the point in which the RNC has casted doubts on your campaign. Do you still believe it was wise to refer to the Governor in such a manner?

Yes, I do believe it was wise. The American people deserve to hear the truth no matter how nasty it may be. And there is much more, but I gave the American people a taste of what Governor Jindal is like. I did not just make those comments out of thin air, you know, they are grounded in truth, Governor Jindal made them that way, we just outed him. We also have some more information regarding Governor Jindal that will be released shortly.

Well, I'd like to thank The American people for hearing me out, and hopefully it is now clear that I am the best choice for America. Thank yall and God Bless Georgia and America!

[Co-Chair Bagel23]

Thank you thank you South Carolina! Great to be here in Myrtle Beach, I am truly honored. I am Judson Hill, Campaign Manager for The Chambliss Presidential Campaign. And we are here to campaign for traditional Southern values (cheers). And we are going to do that by kicking out Obama and bringing back conservatism! This can only be accomplished with the right Republican nominee, and that is Saxby Chambliss, and not Bobby Jindal! (many cheers). Now y'all have heard a lot of Senator Chambliss' policies in his marvelous performance at the first primary debate (many cheers), but what y'all need to hear now is of another scandal regarding Bobby Jindal (many oo's and boos). Now we sent Don Huffines down to Terrebonne Parish after our counsel Ken Cuccinelli discovered a scandal while doing some research. Here it goes folks, a Farmer by The Name of Brian Bixby gave us this tape from his CCTV Camera, dated July 7th 2009 11:33am. Mr. Bixby is a chicken farmer and caught Bobby Jindal breaking into his property and chicken-diddling on one of his properties while in the area on a agriculture ingenuity trip organized by the LFB. I guess he just could not help himself, here we are distributing the flyers now:



(shocks and gasps) Now I have no idea what Piyoosh was doing, but he needs shoosh from this race. The presidency and America is better than this, do not elect this disgraceful man, god only knows what happens to em cows (thunderous applause and laughter)... See America, you needed to know the truth. Thank you for the opportunity to speak to y'all, and we are going to keep campaigning and working hard for the fate of America (applause). Thank y'all, and God Bless The State of South Carolina and The United States of America! (thunderous applauses and jeers).

[Co-Chair Bagel23]

Governor Jindal's Debate Responses

1.- It seems one of the main concerns of rank and file Republicans is the Health Care debate and the issues that come from Obamacare. If elected President, would you repeal Obamacare? What would you replace it with?

First, I'd like to thank Lumine for hosting this great debate.

But next, I'd like to show America that unlike other candidates, I don't just chant "repeal Obamacare!" I have a real plan once Obamacare is repealed. But first, let me quickly explain why we need to replace Obamacare, as it seems that explanations for Obamacare are in short supply.

The main problem with Obamacare is that to fulfill the requirements of making it a universal health care system, it uses charges and taxes to achieve this. A good example of this is the individual mandate. This makes Americans who currently don't have health insurance and don't or can't buy health insurance pay a fee to the IRS. Originally, the fee was capped at $280 a year. However, the fee will in the future be capped at just over $2000 a year, which many poor Americans can't afford. And the total costs to taxpayers over a decade will reach three trillion dollars. Another problem is that health care providers are simply pulling out of regional exchanges due to the costs imposed by Obamacare to maintain them. And with less insurers, there is less choice, and less choice is bad for competitiveness and citizens.

So how can we replace this system? Well, the simplest way would just be to wipe out Obamacare and leave healthcare to the free market. However, this does not ensure that citizens will get the best health coverage, as rising health care costs would come back like they were before Obamacare was implemented. Between 1975 and 2005, health care costs rose 2% faster than normal economic growth (per-person).

This is where my plan comes through. First, my plan would include refundable tax credits to offset the cost of paying for a new health care system while still being able to maintain it. Obamacare does nothing to address taxpayers' concerns, but my plan will. And, to ensure that those who use the system more get more back, these tax credits increase with age. But in addition to credits, there would also be a cap on the employer exemption, so that Americans can know that they have the freedom to choose where they want their insurance from without penalty of cost, but also the government would not go farther in debt. This is all the time I have for know, but I will explain more of my system in-depth on the campaign trail.

2.- As unemployment not only fails to drop but increases in some parts of the country, there is a spirited debate about the best way to create new jobs and lower unemployment for good. Why are you a better choice than your fellow candidates when it comes to creating jobs?

As Governor of Louisiana, I made sure that our unemployment stayed well below the national average during the recession. It never went over 7.8%, while the nation exceeded 10%. During that same period, Louisiana added over 78,000 new jobs and our private sector job growth was 5%, which ranked us in the top five states in the nation. Our year-over-year job count has grown for 47 consecutive months. Our total non-farm paid employment is at our state's highest total in history. And this has attracted growth. More people are moving to Louisiana than are moving away. And these newcomers are getting well-paid jobs, too. This has increased our state's average personal income by 15%, and is also at the state's highest level in history. More than $54 billion worth is being spent in our state now since I took office. Thousands of new jobs are being created in all cities in Louisiana, such as Lake Charles and Monroe, every day. How did I do this? I cut taxes, not only for businesses, but for average Americans also. And this is why both businesses and people are moving to my state. I plan to implement the same tax cuts on a larger scale, if elected President. I could keep going on listing my job record as Governor, but I think it's pretty clear. If you want jobs, you want Jindal.

3.- Governor, one of your most famous moments in the public eye has been your response to President Obama a couple of years ago, which was remarkably criticized as a poor media appearance and casted doubts on your ability as a candidate. Can you assure voters you can avoid repeating that experience?

I'll do one thing a lot of politicians won't do. I'll own up to my mistake. I was new to the political scene and I did not take enough time to prepare for the response. But in the weeks after, I soon learned failure is the beginning of success. And, in fact, while I would have loved for the response to turn out perfectly and for me to have boosted my national profile, I don't think I would be in the place I am now without that experience. I learned key lessons not only to apply to making speeches, but also in life. And I can say, because of that, I am far better prepared for holding the office of President than those who have not suffered a failure in the same manner, because they have not learned the same life experiences I have. In fact, I recommend all presidential candidates bomb a response to the State of the Union! (laughs) In all seriousness, I'd like to say two things to all of you who are concerned about my fitness as a presidential candidate based solely upon a speech I made three years ago. I have changed as person and a candidate since then, so don't expect the same failure. And more importantly, don't judge a book by its cover.

Response to Senator Chambliss:

First of all, Senator, you say that you "outed me" and that your comments were "founded in truth." Is fabricating a story that I was not born in America, when in fact I was born in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, the truth? Second, you say that you have "some more information regarding Governor Jindal that will be released shortly." Is this a threat? America, this is the kind of man Senator Chambliss is. He first not only makes up complete lies to support his racist remarks, but he next threatens this campaign with a "release of information." Are these the qualities you want in a president, America? Do these qualities represent honesty and truth, two critical qualities in a person who will be the leader of the free world? Here's my rebuttal to the Senator: release whatever "information" you have. I'm not concerned. America will see right through it.

Closing statement

America, when we ended the last campaign for President, we thought we would see radical change. We thought our nation would be far improved by now. Well, we're now at the end of the President's term. And we can see that Obama's administration has failed the American people. He has changed America, but for the worse. Unemployment is at record highs, our economy is in shambles, and Obama is destroying our nation's standing in the world. We are no longer a world superpower; instead, other nations are dictating where our jobs and products will go. Now, I'm supposed to explain to you why I'm a better choice for president than the rest of these people on this stage. But I'll admit, almost all of these people on this stage will be a better option than Obama or one of his far-left opponents. But my Republican opponents are just "good enough". Let's not settle for "good enough". Choose a candidate that will create real change in America. Choose a candidate that will look out for all Americans, no matter how much money you have in your wallet. Choose a candidate that will rebuild our nation from the ground up, by proposing a real replacement for Obamacare and making sure that true conservative values will be back in government, while making sure that we will be cooperative in getting these values through. Choose a candidate that won't work for themselves, but for America. And most importantly, choose a candidate that will defeat the Democrats, and Obama, in 2012.

I am this candidate. And this is why I humbly ask for your vote, no matter what state you live in. Thank you.

The information was "chickengate" governor.

[Co-Chair Bagel23]

2nd Republican Presidential Debate:

General Questions:

1.- The Obama Administration has set the date of withdrawal from Iraq by December of this year, which would seemingly end a decade of American military presence in the country. Is this withdrawal the right choice to make?

Yes, this is the right decision, enough money, time, and lives have been wasted on this stupid venture. It is out time, good on President Obama for making this decision.

2.- Many of the main issues always being debate inside the Republican Party tend to be social issues and social values, an area in which there appears to be significant disagreement. Where do you stand on abortion?

Pro life in all cases, barring life of the mother, all rape (except statutory), and incest (which I believe should be a heavy felony).

Candidate Specific Question:

9.- To Senator Chambliss: Senator, the so called "Chickengate" issue has led to your collapse in primary polling and the withdrawal of support from several key donors. Do you believe you can stage a comeback from such a difficult situation?

No, I do not. It is obvious that I am not wanted by either the GOP or the people of this nation. Which is why I am taking this opportunity to drop out of this race, and endorse Obama for reelection. He is the best out of the worst, because all the candidates except me sucked, Obama is just the best out of them. I'd like to thank my most loyal supporters, friends, and family, and telling all the rest of y'all that you made a big mistake by not supporting me, and the only way to redeem yourselves now is to cast your ballots for the next best choice, Obama, the one who is qualified and kept this country afloat and patching up the leaks over the past several years, status quo is better than anything else offered to you now at this point. Here is a guide to why you should not vote for any of the other douchebags.

Hillary Clinton: Crooked Wench.
Russ Feingold: Sleazy Loser.
Phil Bredesen: Somewhat more palatable, but one of the fakest moderates and liars ever.
Mitt Romney: Liberal in hiding, elitist, gold underwear wearer.
Chris Christie: Fat and innefective slob who barely beat a frequent catamite user.
Sarah Palin: Drunken and degrading stereotype of a redneck. Fakest one ever. Makes the 99% of good ones look terrible, seriously, she is the second worst one running here.
Ron Paul: RINO and Libertarian.
Bobby Jindal: Confirmed chicken diddler, don't doubt it.
Donald Trump: Fake flip flopper who is a botox abuser.
Adam Carolla: Unwashed, sleazy, and overall disgusting beach bum.
Walter Jones: Worse hair than Trump, has no enthusiasm.
Fred Upton: Green Party Plant.
Wesley Clark: Vote sink and even less legitimate than Captain Crunch.
Anyone else I missed: Screw them.

So I am officially out of the 2012 Presidential Campaign, thanks to all those who believed in me, and **** the rest of you, Good Day, and remember to now cast your ballots for Obama, our only hope remaining.

[Co-Chair Bagel23]

Alright you bums. Yall already drove out the two decent candidates in this race, first myself, and then Obama. Your only path forward is through Phil Bredesen. If yall remember my tirade a couple of weeks ago during my campaign termination, you will recall the nasty insults I gave everyone besides Obama and I. But out of all the insults I gave, Phil Bredesen had the lightest one by far. Why, one may ask? It is simple, he stands with our conservative values, and is the biggest DINO out there. In case yall scum cannot comprehend that, it is a very berry goodly thingy okakyzies, @&$!?-; dumb@&$?$ I know what a huge favor I am doing right here, so the only thing that I ask in return is to make Perry O. Hooper Jr. a cabinet member. As for you, terrible excuses for homo sapients, dissapointing american people, the favor you can do is to vote Phil Bredesen! You already sent out the two good candidates, so there is no redemption from here, but, you can still save yourselves from total doom, but last chance, by going all in for ma boi Bredesen! Vote or die!