The Kalwejt Foundation for the Promotion of Atlas Hilarity

[Badger]

Arguably even deserves placement in the good posts gallery

The year? Far in the future or deep in the past. The Empress Virginiá has announced her intention to abdicate the throne and retire to her passion project - a beautiful mountain sanctuary for her favorite animals, puppies and seagulls. Her long reign - from when she had convinced her predecessor David I of the Dynasty Leip to give up the throne - has been marked as a period of peace between the factions of the domain of Tokkaellexia. But upon news of the Virginia's abdication, the empire has been thrown into chaos - each faction of the land believes it can claim the grand throne and administer the realm under its own dark iron agenda. Who will live? Who will die? Who will reign supreme? It is a game of Forums.

The Order of Saint Sekula by far outnumbers its rival factions in the sheer dedication of their knights to the cause - they are followers of their leader, the mad prophet Sir Oc, who roves the inner plains of Tokkaellexia, spreading his sermon to adoring crowds, who join his crusade. The Order of Saint Sekula believes in a future of unflinching devotion to the True Faith of Secularism.

The Lawyers Guild of the capital - a most clever organization skilled in the scribéd tongue of the realm, Pedantese, a difficult language flush with byzantine structure and incongruent legalistic terms. Operating openly as a business of the realm, their reputation for grey tricks and their rampant ambition precedes them. One is the Royek Badgerhead "Acid-tongue" - known as such for his fearsome verbal quarrels, but also for his occasionally incomprehensible speech. Another is C-va S-va, better known by his lawyerly name - "The Man of Much Reaction". But, flanked by his army of scholars of the legal craft, sits their leader : Toriec de 'Udsun, whose could be said to have written the book on Pedantese, seeks the grand throne of the Empress he had once advised.

The Barefoot Army, a ragtag regiment of the masses. They may look like poor peasants, but they live by a strict code of rules, spelled out by their leader, the charismatic, idiosyncratic, and ominously named The Red Death. Rule 1: Never march on the land of the unclean. Rule 2: Wear red. Rule 3: Embrace the religious icon, The Hipster Chris, son of the Great Emo, and his disciples, the brothers Krazeystine. Rule 4: Repeat the prayer often and loudly: Allibra Alldatim! Rule 5: Kiss the feet of the Red Death when he asks. A grim future for Tokkaellexia should the Barefoot Army be successful in extinguishing its enemies.

The Bank of Atlas is an incorporated entity, the preeminent financial institution in the land. It is administered by the flamboyant, idiosyncratic Bankmaster Santa Durr, whose business ventures take him carriage-setting across the world. People across the realm owe him favors. He and his equally flamboyant, fashionable girlfriend, Lady Spraut, promise a future of incomprehensible luxury should they emerge victorious in the game for the throne.

The Orangists, an academy of erudite scholars residing on the isles of Ingleand, known for donning orange robes. These serene scholars are known for their boundless intellect and calm demeanor - but by no means are they any pushovers. Their Provost, the One-with-Many-Words-of-Ancient-Tongues , commands the group, flanked by his compatriot, She-who-eats-pies-of-Crustaceans, and an alpine ally, the Youth-of-local-affairs. Perhaps they can secure the throne through their knowledge of ancient customs; do they hold the knowledge necessary to ensure stability?

The Zeroth International claims to be the voice of the working people of the realm. They shall unite the downtrodden - the oppressed - and inspire them into fervent revolution. Committed to some book of ideals, they are ready to radically reform Tokkaellexia into a worker's paradise. Vanguardism is, sadly, necessarily, but the leaders of this movement - the passionate Pi-Soul and his cynical right hand man,  Avram the Large - uphold this responsibility with a heavy heart.

The Maroonist Monks, a religious sect dressed in dark red capuchins, has thrown their lot into the fight for the soul and control of the realm. Their beliefs are uncommon, and not even in agreement, but this unconventional alliance - the Antonine Fraternité, the Nathanielique Monks, the Spezian Baptists, the Priestesses of the Flying Disco, and the Scottch presbyters (who dressed uniquely in bright green rather than maroon) - poses a thoughtful but strange message to the people of Tokkaellexia. But will their internal factions erase any hope of success for the throne?

The Imperial Library boasts the greatest repository of official records of the realm. Headed by the Head Librarian, Master Morden, the Library guards some of the most fundamental, deepest secrets of Tokkaellexia. Master Morden knows the realm all too well - will he be able to masterfully guide this knowledge into success on the field of geopolitics?

The Bureau of Bureaucracy is the administrative arm of the monarchy of Tokkaellexia. Its members have served the Empress Virginia well in administrating her realm during her reign. The Yellow Vizier, as he's known, vies for the power of the realm, albeit reluctantly. It is not for personal gain, but rather fear of who else may gain it. The Vizier, along with the High Magistrate, the meek Ado, present a vision of supreme stability at the very least, to carry through the Empress Emeritus's legacy and wishes.

The Blue Rabble are another peasant movement, one that has increased in size and volume lately. They claim that they are fundamentally oppressed by the Empress Emeritus. Although they are a disorganized movement, there are a few standout characters: a large grey Bear, trotted around like a circus exhibit. Another is a young tar heel, who claims to be so different, in belief and style, from the peasant horde that marches mindlessly. But the key leader of this movement is the Mechanical Republican, a mysterious automaton which spits out old-school plans for the realm. No one is quite sure how the Mechanical Republican operates, but they are enthralled by its messages nonetheless.

The Society of the After-dark is a shadowy organization, operating in opposition to rule of the Empress for years. Having sought refuge in a makeshift colony on terra nullis, the Society now sees an opportunity to strike. Have they gathered enough strength in the meanwhile to pose a credible challenge for the throne? Or will their hockey stick-wielding army, lead by the Inscrutable Dude, collapse on the field of battle?

[GeorgiaModerate]

What exactly does a "butterfly farm" produce?

Unintended consequences

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

The struggle of the Blue Avatar Rights Movement continues undeterred:

For me, the reason I've been posting here has been that my life outside of Atlas has gotten a lot more busy

And this is something else that distinguishes blue avatars from red ones.  We're real people with real jobs, families and other commitments competing for our time while red avatars have always skewed younger/more engaged. 

[Biden 2024]

Does there exist any polling on how popular these protests actually are?

Oh yeah YouGov and Marist are in the field right now, but Trafalgar thinks there is a quiet pro-Khamenei vote that "traditional" pollsters aren't able to pick up on.

lmao this one is a banger

[Anzeigenhauptmeister]

Scholz' and SPD numbers probably go up once an election season comes up in three years, which is a very long time. Incumbency is a huge factor as we've already seen in several of the latest state elections, where late swing towards the incumbent occurred. And even in the early 2000s, the SPD was sometimes trailing by 20 points and Schröder still managed to win in 2002 and came damn close in 2005. In latter, he was even in low/mid 20s territory and the Union close to 50%. Merkel in the end just came out on top by a single point.

Furthermore, Habeck already seems to struggle and the Greens are dropping again. Some of share of that electorate will go back SPD.

[Sol]

She seems like the next Thatcher so not good until proven otherwise

[Make America Grumpy Again]

Trump could have decapitated a newborn white baby and drank its blood on live TV and Republicans still wouldn’t impeach him.

[Badger]

Maybe an easy layup humor-wise, but I laughed. Credit where credit is due.

I find your lack of faith disturbing

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

I just posted this meme in a Furnace Fest Facebook group.

Basically every reply before a mod deleted it was "uh....what the f[inks]?"

[Biden 2024]

This first reply to the new Israel GE thread is (somehow) sincere, but the juxtaposition between the OP and this essay killed me when I read it this morning.

The first order of business is to establish his administration, and eliminate all elements of the radical marxist puppets that undermined his Israeli security and stability by collaborating with the US and European left-wing extremists. 

The second order of business is to address the US and European espionage campaigns to interference in Israeli elections through social and multi-media (Like Iran), destabilization of Israeli internal governance and civil order, as well as re-establishing ties with China and Russia as a bargaining chip against any further attempts by the Biden administration to undermine Israeli foreign policy.  A large part of the Bibi vote was due to antipathy towards Washington, and anger at Lepid for dealing with Biden in the run up to the election.  They are also pretty pissed at the Western and Israeli media campaign to sensationalize fabricated, and many times ludicrous, corruption charges against Bibi. 

The third order of business that should be done simultaneously with the second is enact of policies and pursuit of foreign policy that reduces inflation by any and all costs.  Netanyahu should also keep his promise to provide tax credits to families struggling with cost of living expense and free early childhood education initiatives.  A strong economic position is the best form of National Security as has been so clearly demonstrated by NATO countries. 

Lastly, Israel needs to re-establish military relations with all Gulf, ME and Caucus states in preparation for a multinational strike on Iranian nuclear facilities and weapon manufactories.  It is undoubtedly an essential US national security interest to eliminate Iranian weapons programs.  A deal will either have to be worked out with Russia (for Israeli weapons that ends the war) or the USA (for Ukrainian defense) that designates Israel as an untouchable ally.  Israel would be taking a huge risk providing support to Ukraine or Russia.  Whether it's today or tomorrow, the US, or its proxies, must enter Iranian theater.

[Devout Centrist]

Not sure I understand. Nobody - any Dem - is advocating for late term abortions. Democrats advocate for the right to choose what is best for yourself in your situation. I'm confused as to how you're not more upset with the GOP's extreme approach of banning it outright and taking the right away from people to make their own decisions.

you are talking to a brick wall

Lol Calthrina is probably the single most open member in terms of having good faith debates about something without bringing in any excesses

Cal's persona causes hack brains to misfire because he doesn't employ the same bad-faith partisan arguments and tropes as most posters do.  He's speaking a language they can't understand.  

Calthrina, you need to understand that when people call an individual post of yours "dumb" or say that you're wrong about a particular matter, it isn't a personal attack. Some of my closest friends on this site (Alben Barkley and Ferguson97 come to mind) have on different occasions called me evil and stupid. In turn, I think they are completely wrong about a variety of issues (such as Woodrow Wilson or constitutional interpretation), but we all get along just fine. This is because those individual incidents do not define our relationships.

You can have a pretty wide range of opinions on this site and still interact decently with the vast majority of users. Everyone from Mr. Reactionary to Nathan has gotten an "FF" rating at various times. What people won't tolerate are flaws in your attitude and your approach to discussion: humorlessness and a victim complex being chief among them.

In this thread, you said something stupid. A guy was attacked with a hammer, and you said "What's important is that we remember he isn't a sainted figure," which is a claim nobody was making and was utterly irrelevant to the topic at hand. This was objectively a dumb thing to do. It made no sense. It did not make you come across like a "thoughtful moderate." It just made you look stupid. But we all do and say stupid things on this site from time to time, myself included. The mature and appropriate response in this situation is to acknowledge the mistake and move on without derailing an entire thread for countless pages whining about how you are being "persecuted" for your silly post. You are coming across like a petulant child who puts people on ignore whenever they point out glaring flaws in your posts.

Just move on, bro.

Again, no apology, no remorse, and no concessions. I have nothing to apologize for, and I'm not going to do so to people who waste their time and their effort mocking and bullying people who they don't know, and who they don't like. I'm done with making my political ideology conform to the desires and the tastes of the dominant Atlas paradigm, particularly in instances when I don't agree or don't align with the people on here. All the usual suspects who hate me and who would wish me dead have descended into this thread, and have decided to derive their joy by targeting me and destroying me. Yes, I am done with their chicanery, and I'm not going to try and justify myself to them anymore.

[Aurelius]

Not sure I understand. Nobody - any Dem - is advocating for late term abortions. Democrats advocate for the right to choose what is best for yourself in your situation. I'm confused as to how you're not more upset with the GOP's extreme approach of banning it outright and taking the right away from people to make their own decisions.

you are talking to a brick wall

Lol Calthrina is probably the single most open member in terms of having good faith debates about something without bringing in any excesses

Cal's persona causes hack brains to misfire because he doesn't employ the same bad-faith partisan arguments and tropes as most posters do.  He's speaking a language they can't understand.  

Calthrina, you need to understand that when people call an individual post of yours "dumb" or say that you're wrong about a particular matter, it isn't a personal attack. Some of my closest friends on this site (Alben Barkley and Ferguson97 come to mind) have on different occasions called me evil and stupid. In turn, I think they are completely wrong about a variety of issues (such as Woodrow Wilson or constitutional interpretation), but we all get along just fine. This is because those individual incidents do not define our relationships.

You can have a pretty wide range of opinions on this site and still interact decently with the vast majority of users. Everyone from Mr. Reactionary to Nathan has gotten an "FF" rating at various times. What people won't tolerate are flaws in your attitude and your approach to discussion: humorlessness and a victim complex being chief among them.

In this thread, you said something stupid. A guy was attacked with a hammer, and you said "What's important is that we remember he isn't a sainted figure," which is a claim nobody was making and was utterly irrelevant to the topic at hand. This was objectively a dumb thing to do. It made no sense. It did not make you come across like a "thoughtful moderate." It just made you look stupid. But we all do and say stupid things on this site from time to time, myself included. The mature and appropriate response in this situation is to acknowledge the mistake and move on without derailing an entire thread for countless pages whining about how you are being "persecuted" for your silly post. You are coming across like a petulant child who puts people on ignore whenever they point out glaring flaws in your posts.

Just move on, bro.

Again, no apology, no remorse, and no concessions. I have nothing to apologize for, and I'm not going to do so to people who waste their time and their effort mocking and bullying people who they don't know, and who they don't like. I'm done with making my political ideology conform to the desires and the tastes of the dominant Atlas paradigm, particularly in instances when I don't agree or don't align with the people on here. All the usual suspects who hate me and who would wish me dead have descended into this thread, and have decided to derive their joy by targeting me and destroying me. Yes, I am done with their chicanery, and I'm not going to try and justify myself to them anymore.

You are guided in your actions by evil impulses. The Devil has invaded your mind, and caused you to lash out at those who are not like you. Cast his influence out, and you will be set free. Otherwise, you will be condemned to the flames of oblivion.

[Technocracy Timmy]

The first order of business is to establish his administration, and eliminate all elements of the radical marxist puppets that undermined his Israeli security and stability by collaborating with the US and European left-wing extremists. 

The second order of business is to address the US and European espionage campaigns to interference in Israeli elections through social and multi-media (Like Iran), destabilization of Israeli internal governance and civil order, as well as re-establishing ties with China and Russia as a bargaining chip against any further attempts by the Biden administration to undermine Israeli foreign policy.  A large part of the Bibi vote was due to antipathy towards Washington, and anger at Lepid for dealing with Biden in the run up to the election.  They are also pretty pissed at the Western and Israeli media campaign to sensationalize fabricated, and many times ludicrous, corruption charges against Bibi. 

The third order of business that should be done simultaneously with the second is enact of policies and pursuit of foreign policy that reduces inflation by any and all costs.  Netanyahu should also keep his promise to provide tax credits to families struggling with cost of living expense and free early childhood education initiatives.  A strong economic position is the best form of National Security as has been so clearly demonstrated by NATO countries. 

Lastly, Israel needs to re-establish military relations with all Gulf, ME and Caucus states in preparation for a multinational strike on Iranian nuclear facilities and weapon manufactories.  It is undoubtedly an essential US national security interest to eliminate Iranian weapons programs.  A deal will either have to be worked out with Russia (for Israeli weapons that ends the war) or the USA (for Ukrainian defense) that designates Israel as an untouchable ally.  Israel would be taking a huge risk providing support to Ukraine or Russia.  Whether it's today or tomorrow, the US, or its proxies, must enter Iranian theater.

I see that Zyprexa has been the latest casualty of the supply chain crisis.

[jamestroll]

HUGE Caveat: without birth times it is hard to have accurate transits for election night.

http://www.elbertwade.com/page154.html

Also it is important to look at opponents birth charts also.

I have literally emailed some offices for birth times but I have not gotten any responses yet. Especially after primaries next year I will do transit charts for Election Night for both candidates and make predictions that way.

I will use this thread to add more predictions as I have time to make more charts but I will start off with MO and IN Senate


Missouri Senate:

 I did not do Hawley's full transits yet on election night as it is not even sure he is running even though he formed an exploratory committee. But a quick glance it looks decent for him on election night! So hopefully he does not run.

McCaskill has transit Saturn squared her progressed sun. Normally that is a poor transit but it also can mean a surprise, new beginning or life becoming very heavy and stressful. People have had success under this transits but only with great stress. So McCaskill is not DOA.  I am much more concerned about the Moon Square Sun transit she has on election night. That transit often indicates disappointment.

Let's hope Hawley does not ultimately run because his basic transits on election night are great based on a quick glance!

Indiana Senate:

No birth time information at all. We only have a date of birth (9/29/1955) in Massapequa New York.

I have not looked into opponents birth charts yet and there is no assurance who will one against Donnelly.  For election night 2018 for Joe Donnelly is that he has one decent transit: Venus conjunct Neptune and one VERY sh**tty transit which is transiting Moon conjunct Saturn. So on a basic chart alone it probably indicates a close race that he could lose.

Moon conjunct Saturn will be at the peak for Donnelly a day AFTER the election. So perhaps he loses a close race and it takes all day to count it or he may be disappointed by other loses. But like I said no birth time. So hard to say. Would have to tilt this one slightly to the GOP for sure.

Next one I will do is Arizona Senate.

I have not posted as much lately because I have been in a depression that McCaskill will lose. I literally love her. Not so much because of politics but because of her personality!

Will use this thread to make election predictions on astrology, gather birth times, and next November 2018 we will compare them!

If anyone has information on candidate's birth time please let me know!

lol that was funny.

Not sure what happened to that thread.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

I certainly am not leaving again, not for a third time. But you are truly an abhorrent human being. I remember the insults you made about me before, and I don't know why I tried to reach out to you after that. Well, I'm not going to bother anymore. I'm done.

All of this would be avoided if you would stop making up quotes and attributing them to people. Do you just not understand how this would be extremely off-putting to anyone?

The problem is that I expressed my views about this particular incident, and some people on here responded in the way that I would have predicted. I've come to accept at this point that I'll never be able to get along with certain users here, and I'm not going to try and continue to "play footsie" with them.

[Amenhotep Bakari-Sellers]

All the maps are blank on Eday Ds believe not in exact maps but blue waves I am looking at DEMINGS and Beasley when they are the first swing states up

[Fuzzy Says: "Abolish NPR!"]

I love the Goose!

sounds like she's a GODDAMN RED

AMERICA will never fall to COMMUNIST INVASION and therefore marjorie taylor greene WILL LOSE her election

if these hippie peaceniks love the russia so much, they should move there!

America, love it or leave it!

[Grumpier Than Thou]

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

This is one of those races where people will look back and ask themselves why they ignored all the warning signs that the race would flip and that it wouldn’t be particularly close (incumbent's vote share in polling, state's tendency to reflect the national popular vote, demographics that were going to make the state the epicenter of a GOP wave under current party coalitions/in a midterm in which the trends observable in the last presidential election only tend to accelerate, generic Republican vs. generic Democrat contest, repeated signs and reports that pollsters were struggling to pick up the pace of the shift toward Republicans among non-white/non-Anglo working-class voters).

However, it made Ralston debase himself, so it was still worth it.

[GeorgiaModerate]

The whole exchange:

https://twitter.com/sahilkapur/status/1599524755522068480

* Starts to count the number of pronouns in the quote, gives up *

"Why are certain unspecified people bringing pronouns in the military of this country? Pronouns?! What the heck is a pronoun. Herschel Walker is sick & tired of that pronoun stuff. Aren’t the people in this audience all sick & tired of that pronoun stuff? So why don’t Herschel Walker and the people who agree with him call this senator Former Senator? That’s the aforementioned senator's pronoun."

is what he should have said. Sick of these conservatives who don't practice what they preach.

You left a "him" in there, you woke liberal trash.

Dang. Fixed now.

There's still at least one "who". Relative pronouns are pronouns too, groomer.

[Atlas Force]

Why is this thread named Werewolves and Vampires?

Tonight is a battle between Werewolves (Republicans) and Vampires (Democrats), duh.

This is actually the reverse of how it used to be. Traditionally in the southern states, vampires were able to assimilate will within society and became super wealthy (their pale skin helped) However they like to live in urban and suburban areas because they need humans to feed on for bloodmeals. Vampires traditionally were Republican due to their wealth but as suburbs have trended D so have vampires. I think Hillary was the first to win the vampire vote in Georgia by a plurality since Carter.

Werewolves on the other hand are far more rural due to historic marginalization and are far less well off/working class. They traditionally have voted like other minorities although recently the werewolf community has begun to trend right rapidly. While still D on the net, Walker needs to cut those margins from 2020 honestly due to vampire bleeding.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

Context:

Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department

[Kahane's Grave Is A Gender-Neutral Bathroom]

east coast whale species?

is she not concerned about the well being of Chris Christie and Ron DeSantis?

[Badger]

Is it okay to give a serious answer to a bronze thread?

Stop underestimating me.

Personally, I laughed my ass off for 30 full seconds after reading this.

[Amenhotep Bakari-Sellers]

Users know what type of threads Bronze, Matty or even Solid creates, it's best not to respond to them, just like Matty makes silly threads too and Solid makes threads about how Harris shouldn't be Prez and Buttigieg not Newsom is second place and Newsom is at 6% because he has a homeless Problem in CA, but I know Fuzzy kept responding but I heard he was banned