Eternal Sunshine of the Democratic Mind

[Gass3268]

That is a very Western ticket. 1964 with Johnson/Humphrey was the only other time the Democrats had a ticket with both being from states west of the Mississippi River. Republicans have had it multiple times (1928, 1932, 1952, 1956, 1980, 1984, 2000, 2004, 2008).

[Mike Thick]

I'm so down for this

[Shameless Lefty Hack]

Hey I didn't pick him, Kamala did.

Oh I know. It's so disgusting because it's so believable.

Your title is acquiring meaning at a very rapid rate.

[Shameless Lefty Hack]

That is a very Western ticket. 1964 with Johnson/Humphrey was the only other time the Democrats had a ticket with both being from states west of the Mississippi River. Republicans have had it multiple times (1928, 1932, 1952, 1956, 1980, 1984, 2000, 2004, 2008).

Minneapolis is bifurcated by the Mississippi, so I'm not sure this counts.

[Senator Cris]

What a great TL!

[Gass3268]

That is a very Western ticket. 1964 with Johnson/Humphrey was the only other time the Democrats had a ticket with both being from states west of the Mississippi River. Republicans have had it multiple times (1928, 1932, 1952, 1956, 1980, 1984, 2000, 2004, 2008).

Minneapolis is bifurcated by the Mississippi, so I'm not sure this counts.

True, but a majority of the state is west of the river.

[P. Clodius Pulcher did nothing wrong]

That is a very Western ticket. 1964 with Johnson/Humphrey was the only other time the Democrats had a ticket with both being from states west of the Mississippi River. Republicans have had it multiple times (1928, 1932, 1952, 1956, 1980, 1984, 2000, 2004, 2008).

Minneapolis is bifurcated by the Mississippi, so I'm not sure this counts.

True, but a majority of the state is west of the river.

Plus, Humphrey grew up in S Dakota and Colorado, so I agree that he counts as a westerner

[The Other Castro]

Elizabeth

July 20th, 2020

The stage and the lights might have been intimidating for some, but this wasn’t Elizabeth’s first Democratic National Convention. For the first night, the notable speakers would include herself, Cory Booker, and Chris Murphy. The theme for the night was “Working for a Better Future”, as part of the overall Harris campaign message of “Working for You”. Elizabeth had spoken with Harris just once since she announced former Governor Hickenlooper as her running mate, and she was getting frustrated. Elizabeth had provided her with several acceptable names as part of their agreement, but Hickenlooper was not one of them. Harris explained to her that she thoroughly examined the candidates Elizabeth recommended, but that Hickenlooper was the one she thought she would work best with. Well, the convention had begun and now there was nothing Elizabeth could do but give her full and unconditional support to the ticket. She waited backstage until it was her time to speak, while in the meantime catching bits of other speeches.

“The President of the United States should be someone who best embodies the highest standard of leadership, and who always has the best interests of the American people at heart. Over the last four years, Donald Trump has proven that he falls far short of those requirements, and is unworthy of the position he holds. When Kamala Harris become president, she will put a stop to Trump's radical policies, and lead us out of this recession that Trump has driven us into.

We need someone that can stand up to bullies, and fight those who attempt to strengthen themselves by attacking those that cannot defend themselves. You’ve heard me say it before, and I’ve meant it every time. We need to rise up to defeat Trump, and to do that we need to show up at the ballot box this November. I still believe that our best days are ahead of us as long as we are united. Together, we will end the nightmare of the Trump presidency, and we will take back the White House with Kamala Harris!”

"Fellow Democrats, these past four years, I have had to come to work outraged every single day. Outraged, at the unending stream of malice and chaos flowing from this White House. This isn’t how politics is supposed to work, and it sure isn’t good for improving the lives of Americans. I’m sick of being outraged all the time. I’m sick of having a president that ignores the reality of the suffering around him. Now, I don’t want to feel this way anymore, and I know you don’t either.

Well, we can stop it. We can finally end that feeling, and we can remove that constant, empty pit sensation in our stomachs stemming from the fear that this man running our country can do any more damage. This year, we have a candidate that can put a stop to the madness and blatant disregard for the safety of our people. We have Kamala Harris, and together with Governor Hickenlooper, we have a ticket that can restore order and sanity to our government."

"I am so honored to be here addressing you tonight. And trust me, it is a special night. I’m here to talk to you about something very important, and that is doing everything we can to win in November! We all have a choice to make in this coming election. Whether we will reelect a man with no accomplishments in four years except for the intentional sabotage of America’s healthcare system and economy, or whether we pick a new leader. Someone who has proved herself as a dedicated public servant and a role model for our children.  We are here tonight because America faces a choice, the choice of a new president.
 
I am here today, and you are here today, because that choice is crystal clear. This election, the only candidate for president that deserves your vote is Kamala Harris. As an Attorney General, and as a U.S. Senator, she has a long and dedicated history of sticking up for the people that need help the most. Meanwhile, Donald Trump as President has shown that he has no problem stepping on everyone else just for a quick win for himself.

Americans are better than this, and we know better than to be conned by Donald Trump again. We need a president who will work for all of us, not just the rich and powerful that Trump caters to. We need a president who will move us beyond this toxic politics of hatred and division. People, if you believe that we should have a president that is always working for you, then let's come together and work to make Kamala Harris the next President of the United States!"

[The Other Castro]

What a great TL!

Thank you!

[_]

This is great, waiting for the first one of Trump (I think it'd be the first).

[The Other Castro]

This is great, waiting for the first one of Trump (I think it'd be the first).

I'll get to the Republicans soon enough as the focus turns toward the general election.

[The Other Castro]

Barack

July 21st, 2020

"There is only one candidate in this race who has devoted her life to securing a brighter future for America. She is a loving mother who knows what it takes to support our children, and a true leader with real vision to restore the American promise, and improve the level of opportunity for all Americans. That candidate, the woman who we must elect as the next President of the United States, is Kamala Harris.

In any role that she has served, whether it was District Attorney, Attorney General, or United States Senator, Kamala has fought tirelessly for the people that she has represented. Every step of the way, regardless of the challenges she faced, she overcame obstacles in order to deliver results. She has gotten things done at every turn, and I have no doubt that she will do the same as President.

I know from my time in the White House that you never know what kind of president you’re going to be until you actually get there. But, we have seen what happens when President Trump sits behind the desk in the Oval Office. We all know what kind of a president he is, and what kind of president he would continue to be if he is elected to another term. We have seen the disasters that have unfolded by his hand in our economy, our healthcare system, our education system, and our environment. The stakes are too high for anyone to sit out this election. So please, join me in working to elect Kamala Harris as the next President of the United States."

[RedPrometheus]

Looking foward to an update!

[Meatball Ron]

Will this be updated? Was really enjoying it!

[The Other Castro]

Yes I've been meaning to get back to this. Just finished moving into a new apartment so it's been a little busy.

[The Other Castro]

John

July 22nd, 2020

Vice President of the United States John Hickenlooper. He liked the sound of that. He didn’t expect to be chosen as Kamala’s running mate, especially since everything he was hearing at the time suggested she wanted a liberal firebrand. John was grateful to have the opportunity to fill the role, but his selection had left some people disappointed. Almost immediately after the choice was announced, the mention of his name triggered a backlash from some of the more hardcore members on the far left. They bashed him for not being a true progressive, for being a “Kasich wannabe”, and even for being something called a corncob. That one was new. The criticism had waned however as the Democratic National Convention entered full swing.

The pressure was on him tonight. This was his first opportunity to prove himself to the American public as someone ready to fill the position as President at a moment’s notice. Not only that, but his speech tonight would be following Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders, and the latter’s biggest fans hadn’t exactly been John’s strongest supporters to say the least. He and Kamala had a six point lead nationally going into the convention, and they needed a strong show of party unity to solidify the margin going into August.

"Kamala Harris knows that Americans working 40 hours a week deserve better, and should not be living in poverty. She understands that we must raise the minimum wage, and change it from this starvation wage to a living wage. And unlike Donald Trump, she actually knows what it takes to rebuild the crumbling infrastructure in this country, and has a great plan to do it while creating millions of jobs. Her opponent Donald Trump does not know what it takes to improve America, especially because he is directly responsible for many of the problems currently going on. He has been content to keep the minimum wage at its starvation level, while pushing for massive tax breaks for the millionaires and billionaires.

Donald Trump has governed on the economy like he has governed in every other policy area during his time as president. As a complete and utter failure, with the worst ideas for the worst reasons, all the while lying about his intentions. He turned his back on the middle class as soon as he was elected, breaking every campaign promise and joining forces with the Republicans in Congress to hurt working families across the country. Kamala Harris will not turn her back on you like Donald Trump did. I am proud to call Kamala my friend, and I know that she will make an outstanding president."

"Four years ago, I was incredibly honored and grateful to have had the chance to represent all of you. We ran on the basis of love and building a hopeful America, and since then we have never wavered in that quest. This year, we will once again have the chance to build bridges instead of walls, to vote for a stronger and fairer America, and to finally crash through that glass ceiling once and for all.

We don't have to accept Donald Trump’s divisive vision for America. We have the chance to make a different choice, and to make the right choice this time. This November, you can vote for a hopeful, inclusive, and big-hearted America. I trust Kamala Harris, I believe in Kamala Harris, and with her as our candidate, I know that our core values will be protected. She will never stop fighting for you, and she will never stop working for you."

"If there is one thing that I’ve learned, it’s that success is sweeter when it’s shared. This is a view that I hold deeply, it is one that Kamala Harris shares with me, and it is one that will help get our country back on track. For this vision that we believe in, and for my good friend Kamala Harris, I humbly accept my party's nomination for Vice President of the United States.

This, however, is not a view that Donald Trump believes in, because simply put, he is not in it for everyone. Everything he has said, and everything we have seen him do as president shows that he is in it for himself and no one else. That is no way to run a country, and that is not the kind of person that we should re-elect as president.

This election comes down to who you trust, and who you believe in to run your country. Donald Trump has told us time and time again to believe him, and every time he has been exposed on his lies. We cannot begin to turn this country around unless we do it with a different leader, and with someone that we can trust to get the job done.

Tomorrow, after Kamala accepts your nomination for president, we’re going to get right down to business so we can win in November. We all have a job to do, and you can play your part by electing Kamala Harris as president so we can begin to recover as a nation."

[The Other Castro]

Kamala

July 23rd, 2020

It wasn’t as bad back here by the curtains. The lights were low and there weren’t several million sets of eyes on her. Not yet, at least. Kamala Harris stood and watched as her husband, Douglas Emhoff, fulfilled an unusual marriage obligation in recommending her to be the most powerful woman on Earth. However, as soon as he finished his speech, she would have to go out there herself and prove why she was the best person for the job. She was ready.

“I come here as a husband who loves my wife and believes she will be an extraordinary president. I come here as a father whose kids are the heart of my heart and the center of my world. As any parent knows, your kids are the first thing you think about when you wake up, and the last thing you think about when you go to bed. This is what is at stake in this election, not just your future or my future, but  the future of our children and their children after them.

Kamala will work for all of our children the way she always has — by bringing us together and reminding us not how we are different but how we are the same. She knows that the things we share, especially our belief in the greatness of America and the pride in our children’s future, will keep us all together even when it seems we are far apart. Let us work together to make their dreams possible, and let us stand together to elect Kamala Harris as the next President of the United States of America.”

Kamala saw her feet start to move forward towards the stage, and before she knew it she was at the podium. For a moment, she saw past the spotlights and caught a glimpse of the delegates. She spotted a sign saying “I’m a MAINEiac for Kamala!” Then, an elderly woman with tears in her eyes. Next, a young child on his father’s shoulders with a look of wonder on his face. It had all been for this, and it had been worth it.

"It is with great humility and responsibility that I accept your nomination for President of the United States. Tonight, I am asking you to join me in a plan to put this country on a better path. To help me on this journey, I have chosen a man who knows what it takes to get America the better deal that it needs and that it deserves. That man is my friend, and America’s next Vice President, John Hickenlooper. We have a plan to create millions of good-paying jobs with higher wages. We have a plan to lower the costs for American families everywhere, and we have a plan that can build an economy capable of giving Americans the tools and opportunities they need to succeed.

Four years ago, many Americans felt a fresh excitement about the possibilities of a new president. That president was not the choice of our party, but we gave him a chance because that is what our greatest virtues as Americans demand of us. But today, four years later, that excitement has devolved into fear and anxiety, and the struggles of not knowing whether we can offer our children a better future. This is not how we should be living our lives, and this is not what we were promised four years ago by the president.

We were promised jobs, and we were promised higher wages. On the President’s watch, we have entered a recession that has cost millions of Americans their jobs while lowering the wages for others. We were promised better healthcare, but instead we got a President, so embarrassed by his failure to repeal the existing system, that he deliberately sabotaged it and caused your premiums and deductibles to skyrocket. We were promised that things would be safer and more secure, but our diplomacy with key international actors has been reduced to Twitter feuds. These past four years, their plans have been to distract you and hope you don’t notice that they actually haven’t done a single thing on your behalf. That is what they do, that is what they will continue to do, and that is their way. My fellow Americans, we have tried it their way, and their way has failed us.

This is why I entered this race, and this is why I want to be your President. Life in America is more dangerous now than it was four years ago, and life is not as prosperous as it was four years ago. We cannot afford to retreat into the shadows and let ourselves be run over for another four years. We need to fight back. Now more than ever, we need to come together in fighting for the very essence of America. Together we can bring jobs back to this country and get our economy moving again. Together, we can create a universal healthcare system that will provide for every American. Together, we can raise the minimum wage to a living wage, and take care of those that work hard. You deserve better than what you have right now from our leaders in the White House. You deserve a President that will never stop working for you to accomplish the hopes and dreams that you know we can make a reality. My fellow Americans, tonight I will make you a promise. As your President, I will always be working for you!”

[MAINEiac4434]

Kamala saw her feet start to move forward towards the stage, and before she knew it she was at the podium. For a moment, she saw past the spotlights and caught a glimpse of the delegates. She spotted a sign saying “I’m a MAINEiac for Kamala!” Then, an elderly woman with tears in her eyes. Next, a young child on his father’s shoulders with a look of wonder on his face. It had all been for this, and it had been worth it.

[The Other Castro]

Just a little appreciation now and then for dedicated followers of this.

[_]

Great job so far, I cannot wait for the first one with Trump.

[The Other Castro]

Great job so far, I cannot wait for the first one with Trump.

The Trump chapter was pretty fun to write to be honest.

[_]

Great job so far, I cannot wait for the first one with Trump.

The Trump chapter was pretty fun to write to be honest.

I really hope you didn't make him TOO insane.

[The Other Castro]

Donald

July 30th, 2020

He was going to win. He had to. Donald Trump knew it, and he knew that everyone else knew it too. Who were these failures that thought they could go up against him? With all of his accomplishments and achievements? The best the Democrats could do was send him Lazy Kamala. That was a funny name, Donald thought to himself. He was always good with coming up with nicknames that stuck. Well, he would have to show them once again that he was better.

He destroyed those weak Republicans in 2016, demolished Hillary, and showed all those spineless critics just how wrong they were about him. He didn’t even have to lift a finger to take down that baby Justin. He had long made Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell his bitches, and they practically jumped at the chance to help him. How pathetic they all were, he thought, as he went onto the stage to help them win due to his own hard work once again.

"My fellow Americans, I accept your nomination for President of the United States. Together, we have lead our country back to safety, prosperity, and peace. After four years as your president, I have guaranteed that we are once again a country of generosity and warmth. We are now a country of law and order. We have accomplished more over the last four years than perhaps any other president ever in the history of our country. When I first came into office, we were as you all know on the brink of disaster. Our economy was crumbling, healthcare was imploding, and other countries thought we were a joke. My first promise to you was that I would make America great again. Well folks, we have done just that, but that was just the easy part. We have a much bigger road ahead of us, with a big, massive goal. What we need to do now is to not only make America great, but keep America great!

Now, I know you’ve heard all the carefully-crafted lies from the Democrats and their pals in the fake news media, but you cannot believe the stuff they’re throwing at you. Just last week, they put on, honestly, what I would call an anti-American convention. They don’t love America, not the way you and I love America, and anyone that watched that show of theirs could see that. They’ve said to me over the past four years, oh Donald please don’t make America great again, or we’ll never be able to get back into power. We’ll have nothing to run on in four years please please please. That’s all they want really, it’s more power because they still don’t realize why they lost in that beautiful landslide in 2016.

When I came into office, and they won’t tell you this on the fake news, but when I came into office it was all just a disaster. Today, we have accomplished things that nobody ever thought we would get done. Our economy is working again, healthcare is affordable and sustainable again, illegal immigration is way way down, and our allies trust us again, and more importantly our enemies fear us again and take us seriously. And, I am proud to announce, here tonight, that our terrific Director of Peace Talks Jared Kushner has brokered a peace deal with Israel and Palestine. That’s right, they said it couldn’t be done, but we’re going to be rolling out the details of that over the next few weeks. We're going to make peace folks, and we have to do it, but we can only do it if we have another four years to see it through. Don’t you want to keep all this going? But let me tell you, Lazy Kamala Harris doesn’t want this for you. She and the crooked Democrats want to take all of that away from you. She is part of the same breed of politicians that got us into this mess in the first place, and she will put us right back there if you give her the chance.

She and the Democrats and the fake news media are lying to you to try and rig this election, making up phony jobs numbers and bogus talks of recession. They still don’t know what makes America great, and that’s why they’re not going to win and why we cannot afford to let them win. Only I can keep this greatness going, and only with us can America stay the great country that we all love. Lazy Kamala Harris will give up on you, and have you sent back to the death and destruction of rule under the Democrats, and will reap chaos on our streets and homes. If you vote for me, we can work together to keep delivering victories for America. The answer is clear, and we have no choice but to protect America this election. Together, we can keep America strong. We can keep America proud. We can keep America safe. And friends, we can keep America great!”

[P. Clodius Pulcher did nothing wrong]

Honestly I love how the Donald chapter is at the very top of the page.

[Kingpoleon]

Steve Mnunchin is probably going to be under heavy fire in 2024, huh?