Are you afraid of death?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

No I'm not afraid, but I"m sure as hell in no hurry......

33 years ago this month, in a dingy hospital room in a very old section of the Cleveland Clinic, death and I got a tad too close.  I was fully expecting never to leave there, under my own power I mean.  After a month of declining a literal last minute surgery saved my bacon. 

It's too hard to describe, but there is an "acceptance" if you will, or there was for me, but I wouldn't call it a peace or anything like that.....you just deal with what you think is inevitable.   Perhaps because I just felt I'd better accept it, because thinking about leaving a wife and 2 year old behind was wearing on me as much as my physical ailments.

When the time comes I hope I don't have to go through the thought process of dying again.......just end it fast, please.