ATTENTION: THE POLLS ARE CLOSEDGeorge McGovern wins Massachusetts with 54% of the vote!
OK, we see Senator McGovern at his Massachusetts headquarters in Boston. He is coming up to the podium with his wife. He is going to be delivering a victory speech. He's adjusting his tie. He is oiling the stand on the podium (it's a bit shaky). OK. Here is the Senator.
"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you. I want to thank you for supporting me. It was a close one. But I won Massachusetts, and I am prepared to go on to New Hampshire, and Arizona, and South Carolina, and Wisconsin, and Oregon, and Vermont, and Rhode Island, and Hawaii, and Nevada, and Idaho, and the District of Columbia, and Peurto Rico, and WE WILL WIN THIS ELECTION!"
The supporters are cheering loudly. Senator McGovern appears to have paused for the moment to let the applause continue.
"Thank you, thank you."
And we are hearing more wild applause from the enthusiastic supporters.
"I said thank you already. Shut up."
And the applause will not stop.
"OKAY, THAT'S IT, YOU DILDO-SUCKERS! GET OUT OF HERE!! ESPECIALLY THE MEDIA!
GET OUT!
Hello, I'm Laurie Dhue and I'm reporting for Fox News Channel: we report, you decide.Senator George Stanley McGovern was arrested after winning the Massachusetts primary. After his audience would not stop cheering, he threw a large microphone at some reporters and they are reportedly in critical condition. We will update more on this as it develops.
Hello, I'm James Carville, and I just recieved a news alert from my ass. Let's see what it says.George McGovern, a humble Senator from South Dakota -- and let me ask you, when was the last time you ever came across a South Dakotan that was mean? -- was arrested for being too liberal. Can you believe it? You know that when Kenneth Starr, who probably came from stagnant water like his fellow bloodsucking parasites, and Karl Rove, and other religious gay-hating snobs are in control of the country, it's not safe to walk around blurting out liberal stances. So now the honorable Senator McGovern is in jail. I will let you know more once a new report comes out of my ass. Let me go to the bathroom and check now.
Hello, I'm Greta Van Hannity, and I'm reporting for Fox News Channel: Fair and Balanced.We have indisputable proof of the liberal bias in the mainstream media. James Carville, of CNN, has reported that Senator McGovern was arrested for being liberal, when we know it was because he was actually molesting children and shooting policemen. We will continue watching Carville's reporting and see if he says anything else that is of interest to the millions of people watching me talk right now, while CNN's ratings continue to go down the toilet, which seems to be where Carville's reports are also coming from.
there's a tie here still between Little and Saye. break the tie please.
this is still the case
I guess McGovern broke the tie for you...
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