Update XVII: I Ate The Strawberry (The REAL, AUTHENTIC Update)

[AndrewTX]

Dragging your dad into driving you on a 200 mile round trip (in which he'll obviously be paying for the gas) to pick up some bills (that he is also going to be paying) and your arthritis and gout remedies (that a Native American tribe pays for)?  I'd be mortified to be you, but as you said yourself, you're not even remotely ashamed!

I have no reason at all to be ashamed.  I haven't done anything wrong (except what the forum fabricates).

I'll have your back on this one Bushie.  I don't doubt Dad offered to make the trip with you.  Last question, do you have family over this weekend, or is it just the three of you?

Mom's sister and brother-in-law are at Grandma's through Wednesday morning on their way to Florida.  They'll be back through in about three weeks.

Horrible moochers they are. Just like the rest that impose on Granny.  They should all be ashamed.

Don't you EVER INSULT MY FAMILY... THAT IS OFF LIMITS!!!!!

You're not running this monkey farm anymore, and they are moochers.

[Joe Biden 2020]

It's more than the mail.  I've got to get some more medicine and get my bills so I can pay this week.  Plus, I am getting cabin fever, I need to get out of the house.

1. There are pharmacies and drugstores in OKC.

2. Do you seriously pay your bills by regular mail? For God's sake, Jeff. Pay them online and save your poor father the gas money and the stamps to mail the checks.

Again, do not question me because my plans may be different than what you would do.  Just because mine are different, doesn't mean mine are wrong, so be quiet.

I just don't see why you'd drive all the way there when you don't need to. It's not "wrong" but it's still poor use of time (and money and our planet's finite supply of hydrocarbons.)

We may ultimately stay home, it all depends on how I feel.  It's not out of the question Dad goes up there by himself if I'm too busy hacking up a lung and blowing and sneezing.  Or, we may call if off together.  I could wait until Monday if I had to.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Dragging your dad into driving you on a 200 mile round trip (in which he'll obviously be paying for the gas) to pick up some bills (that he is also going to be paying) and your arthritis and gout remedies (that a Native American tribe pays for)?  I'd be mortified to be you, but as you said yourself, you're not even remotely ashamed!

I have no reason at all to be ashamed.  I haven't done anything wrong (except what the forum fabricates).

I'll have your back on this one Bushie.  I don't doubt Dad offered to make the trip with you.  Last question, do you have family over this weekend, or is it just the three of you?

Mom's sister and brother-in-law are at Grandma's through Wednesday morning on their way to Florida.  They'll be back through in about three weeks.

Horrible moochers they are. Just like the rest that impose on Granny.  They should all be ashamed.

Don't you EVER INSULT MY FAMILY... THAT IS OFF LIMITS!!!!!

You're not running this monkey farm anymore, and they are moochers.

No, they are not moochers.  They come to see about her mother and his dad.  His dad will 90 in March and doesn't drive anymore and can barely see and hear.  Grandma will be 89 in April and while she still gets around great, is still up there in age.  Usually, my aunt fixes all the meals while they're here with Grandma and Mom assisting.  Far from moochers.  My aunt even does a lot of the housework when she's here.  The only thing in return is Grandma is providing her a bedroom to sleep in.  She really takes care of her mother while they're here.  He takes care of his dad while he's here.  She really gives my mom a break from having to take care of her and see after her.  That's why they come through so often.

[King]

Bushie, you should get adderall on top of that drug cocktail.

[Eraserhead]

Jeff, will the Family Bushie all be voting this November?

[Joe Biden 2020]

Jeff, will the Family Bushie all be voting this November?

You bet we will.  I'm the only one who will mark a Democrat on my ballot.  I'm voting for Joe Dorman over Mary Fallin.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Bushie, you should get adderall on top of that drug cocktail.

I take enough medicine as it is, I don't need more right now...

[Joe Biden 2020]

When you're under the weather, under the covers is the place you wanna be.  Under the covers is the place I'm headed!  Good night, Updaters!!

[Indy Texas]

Jeff, will the Family Bushie all be voting this November?

I'm sure they'll vote Republican because they hate Obamacare but have no problem getting free Indian healthcare.

[JohnnyLongtorso]

My experience with the federal government is that all the brainless federal jobs with absolute job security are being filled by contractors now. The only federal employees that still have those jobs are people who have been working in the same position for 20-25 years and are just making time until they hit retirement. They are, not surprisingly, the laziest bunch of SOBs I've ever had to deal with in my life.

2. Do you seriously pay your bills by regular mail? For God's sake, Jeff. Pay them online and save your poor father the gas money and the stamps to mail the checks.

It's a long-established trait of Bushie that he does things that generally only senior citizens do. (One wonders why the bills don't just go straight to his parents; it would save some time.)

Also, I'm really enjoying this new Bushism of "mom's sister" instead of "aunt". I can't believe nobody's picked up on it.

[Eraserhead]

Jeff, will the Family Bushie all be voting this November?

You bet we will.  I'm the only one who will mark a Democrat on my ballot.  I'm voting for Joe Dorman over Mary Fallin.

That's the only Democrat you're going to vote for?

[Adam Griffin]

When you're under the weather, under the covers is the place you wanna be.  Under the covers is the place I'm headed!  Good night, Updaters!!

Step 6!

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Wonder if Bushie even knows he can set up a BillPay system with his bank and have them basically process and mail checks to pay the bills. The only bill I ever pay with an actual check is my rent, and I do that in person since my landlord's office is just three blocks north. But besides all that...consider that we're talking about someone with a degree in something called e-commerce that won't pay bills online. Bushie defies comprehension sometimes.

The weird thing though is even if Bushie insists on using physical checks there's still no reason to go back to Tulsa just to get the bills. Just mail out checks for the same amount you always pay. If it's varying, then just pay a little more than the average and if you overpay you get a credit on the next bill. The only bill I have that varies though is my electric one, and that one has never been more than $25 a month.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Papa Bushie wants to get away from all the visiting relatives and Bushie is tagging along. What's the harm?

Hahaha!  That's the first thing I thought when Bushie said relatives are in the area.

I'll bet anything that Papa Bushie came up to Jeff, reminded him he needed to grab some things from Tulsa, and said "let's go for a ride tomorrow".   Papa Bushie, I couldn't imagine being the family patriarch and having to deal with these constantly visiting relatives crashing for weeks on end.  

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Jeff, will the Family Bushie all be voting this November?

You bet we will.  I'm the only one who will mark a Democrat on my ballot.  I'm voting for Joe Dorman over Mary Fallin.

What issues does your family prioritize? 

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Yeah I kind of suspect that's the real reason for this.

[AkSaber]

You're getting blood pressure medication? For some reason I thought you said your BP was within normal limits.

[Indy Texas]

My experience with the federal government is that all the brainless federal jobs with absolute job security are being filled by contractors now. The only federal employees that still have those jobs are people who have been working in the same position for 20-25 years and are just making time until they hit retirement. They are, not surprisingly, the laziest bunch of SOBs I've ever had to deal with in my life.

2. Do you seriously pay your bills by regular mail? For God's sake, Jeff. Pay them online and save your poor father the gas money and the stamps to mail the checks.

It's a long-established trait of Bushie that he does things that generally only senior citizens do. (One wonders why the bills don't just go straight to his parents; it would save some time.)

Also, I'm really enjoying this new Bushism of "mom's sister" instead of "aunt". I can't believe nobody's picked up on it.

It is kind of odd. But generally, I only use the terms "aunt" and "uncle" to refer to blood relatives in the third-person. When talking about my mother's sister, I refer to her as my aunt; when talking about my aunt's husband (who is not a blood relative), I simply refer to him as my aunt's husband. For example, I might say, "I am visiting my aunt and her husband this weekend," as opposed to, "I am visiting my aunt and uncle this weekend." I feel like that's less ambiguous, since "aunt and uncle" could refer to a husband-and-wife, or to a brother-and-sister, or to a brother and sister-in-law or a sister and brother-in-law.

[WalterMitty]

why doesnt an 'e-commerce' major pay his bills online?

[Joe Biden 2020]

Good morning, guys.  I do pay the vast majority of my bills online.  The only ones I don't pay online are rent and one other bill that I can just go in the store and pay.

Anyway, I have been hacking up a lung all night and all morning.  So, Mom and Dad are going to Tulsa and leaving me here.  I'm still not ready to present to the public with as much hacking that I'm doing.  I have to stay inside all day for the 4th straight day.  Since Wednesday night, the only time I've gotten out is for my Friday morning interview.  I'm getting cabin fever big time, but there's nothing I can do about it.  Mom is taking me to the doctor tomorrow because this cold is entering it's second week.

[Lief 🗽]

Sounds like you may have the bronchitis.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Mom and Papa driving to Tulsa and Mama driving you to the doctor.  There are no words.  

...

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Mom and Papa driving to Tulsa and Mama driving you to the doctor.  There are no words.  

...

Do you think Mom is going to come into the examination room?

Joking aside, it's obvious Bushie's parents offer all these things to him.  The coddling is at a ridiculous level of extremity.  Bushie needs a few months at his bro and sister-in-law's place.  They might not like it, but it'll be good for him.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Mom and Papa driving to Tulsa and Mama driving you to the doctor.  There are no words.  

...

Do you think Mom is going to come into the examination room?

Considering now that he's a 10-year-old,yes   

[Joe Biden 2020]

Sounds like you may have the bronchitis.

It's certainly possible.  I need to get it cleared up fast.  I have a vacation in 5 days!