angus
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« on: February 25, 2014, 08:14:30 AM » |
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The Tooth Fairy is dead. The Tooth Fairy died this morning at approximately 7:45am after an illness lasting for about nine days, which began when my son discovered a stash of his teeth in my sock drawer. Actually, he has been questioning the credibility of the logistics of the Tooth Fairy's worldwide delivery for several years now, but the discovery of the teeth was serious confirmation. He lost the thirteenth tooth last night and was reticent about putting it under his pillow, even threatening to hide it in an unusual place, because the Tooth Fairy would no doubt be able to find it whereas parents would not know where to look. Eventually he co-operated and went to sleep. This morning, upon finding a shiny bicentennial Eisenhower Dollar under his pillow, I asked him where he thought the dollars came from and he replied that he thought his parents put it there. The only mystery was which one and where the dollars were acquired. I explained that I acquired them from a bank many years ago when his first tooth became loose, but as it turns out that bank only had 13, and they are becoming hard to find, so it's just as well that he is wise. At that point we decided that the Tooth Fairy was dead.
The Tooth Fairy is survived by Santa Claus, who is on life support and may not survive till next Christmas. The fact that I had a receipt for a dysfunctional toy and was therefore able to exchange it for another one at the mall last year was "suspicious."
RIP Tooth Fairy. In lieu of flowers or donations, prayers for world peace and understanding are requested by the family.
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