Should you allow some people to drink themselves to death?
politicus:
If one of your friends or loved ones is in the process of drinking himself/herself to death and seems fine with it, should you try to stop him/her? Do "happy drunks" exist or are they just putting on a happy face while feeling miserable inside?
(I am not in this situation now, but was once. Just curious about what you think)
minionofmidas:
If they're old enough or sick enough that they'll probably die of another cause soon anyways. (As long as they're well enough cared for.)
What I do know is this:
It's almost impossible to try help a friend who drinks too much while you yourself are drinking, just not as much. Especially if you yourself do almost all your drinking socially. It's quite difficult not to be an active hindrance to their efforts when they make efforts, actually.
Grumpier Than Uncle Joe:
Quote from: politicus on April 14, 2013, 12:29:31 PM
If one of your friends or loved ones is in the process of drinking himself/herself to death and seems fine with it, should you try to stop him/her? Do "happy drunks" exist or are they just putting on a happy face while feeling miserable inside?
(I am not in this situation now, but was once. Just curious about what you think)
The happiness is temporary. The true depression worsens with each drink. The underlying causes need to be professionally addressed before they self-destruct.
How do I know? Been there.
patrick1:
Interesting question. I've been sober for over 9 months now and was a very heavy drinker for over 20 years. I started at 13-14, picked up pace and frequency along the years with intermittent bouts of sobriety mixed in. My drinking wasn't always a "problem" and there were times when I was highly functional. The one factor that didnt change was that once I started I didnt want to stop until I was sh**tfaced. It was rare when I could go out for a few. Eventually the consequences, both physical and mental, of the lifestyle caught up to me. The AA folk talk of everyone finding their own bottom and I guess I stared into the abyss and found mine. It was a real personal decision to realize that drink was standing in the way of my happiness, goals, ambition and hell even sanity. I was a prime candidate for alcoholism: the genetic curse, an environment that fostered it, and a rather rough upbringing. Drink was self esteem in a can. Fortunately I have found that I am capable of having more fun and feeling better without it. Certainly therapy helps you realize why you feel the need to have that crutch in the first place.
Now back to the original questions, I really think it has to be up to the individual to decide what is best for them. I just don't think you can force someone into the decision to stop drinking. You can express your love for the person and that you hate to see that person destroy themselves (if they indeed are). I was your prototypical happy drunk for many years. Sometimes not thinking about the bad things and getting absolutely plastered is liberating or cathartic. It can help you cope but it usually just kicks the ball down along the line for unpleasantness later.
Torie:
The question is whether happy "alcoholics" exist? I don't know. I tend to doubt it in the later stages of the disease. That was not a question that was broached in my DUI class. The state of happiness was not a bullet item in the curriculum.
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