The Onion gets a little too close to reality once again
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  The Onion gets a little too close to reality once again
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Author Topic: The Onion gets a little too close to reality once again  (Read 5472 times)
they don't love you like i love you
BRTD
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« on: January 08, 2013, 11:09:58 PM »

Israel Vows To Use Veto Power If Chuck Hagel Confirmed As U.S. Secretary Of Defense
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Simfan34
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« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2013, 12:19:36 AM »

You know what the funniest thing on the Onion is? The generic people they ask questions.
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dead0man
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« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2013, 09:24:27 AM »

Mother Who Forgot To Pay 29-Year-Old Son's Phone Bill Reminded To Really Be Careful About That
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Grumpier Than Uncle Joe
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« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2013, 09:26:47 AM »

One of my favs recently was on Ben Roethlisberger's sending his best thoughts to the Hurricane Sandy victims.....I died laughing.....and the one about the NFL refs and bad calls.
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dead0man
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« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2013, 09:42:58 AM »

oh I missed the Big Ben one, off to find that now


....

ouch
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Grumpier Than Uncle Joe
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« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2013, 09:43:55 AM »

oh I missed the Big Ben one, off to find that now


....

ouch

Yeah they hit him hard between the legs there.....wowza
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dead0man
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« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2013, 09:49:16 AM »

I like a good Big Ben joke and that was ok, but it was awfully.....<ahem>....hard.
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Grumpier Than Uncle Joe
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« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2013, 09:52:15 AM »

I like a good Big Ben joke and that was ok, but it was awfully.....<ahem>....hard.

I was literally crying I was laughing so hard when I read it.
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memphis
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« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2013, 12:32:19 PM »


My dad pays my phone bill. Not becuase I need or even want him to. Mostly, it makes him feel important to be "helping". We have a family plan, so my part is probably about $75/month or so. It's very nice, but not at all necessary and it's gotten to the point where I'm 30 and it's extremely patronizing. But he would have hurt feelings and it would be a big to do if I asked him to stop. It would be an Everybody Loves Raymond moment. But I'm very capable of paying it on my own. So don't judge Tongue
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dead0man
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« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2013, 06:50:11 PM »

Man Has Alarming Level Of Pride In Institution That Left Him $50,000 In Debt, Inadequately Prepared For Job Market
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Snowstalker Mk. II
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« Reply #10 on: January 10, 2013, 06:54:07 PM »

Taylor Swift Now Dating James Holmes
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Simfan34
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« Reply #11 on: January 10, 2013, 07:55:18 PM »
« Edited: January 10, 2013, 08:01:19 PM by Simfan34 »


WTF is a communications degree anyway? I hear a lot of people getting it and at this point it just shouts "useless, space filling major", that allows one to avoid work. Sounds like a joke.

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Donerail
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« Reply #12 on: January 10, 2013, 07:59:01 PM »


WTF is a communications degree anyway? I hear a lot of people getting it and at this point it just shouts "useless, space filling major", that allows one to avoid work. Sounds like a joke.

University professors, marketing researchers, media editors and designers, journalists, advertising executives, actors, human resources managers, corporate trainers, public relations practitioners, and media managers and consultants. You'll see it as communication, communication studies, speech communication, rhetorical studies, communication sciences, media studies, communication arts, mass communication, media ecology, and communication and media science.
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dead0man
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« Reply #13 on: January 10, 2013, 08:10:24 PM »


WTF is a communications degree anyway? I hear a lot of people getting it and at this point it just shouts "useless, space filling major", that allows one to avoid work. Sounds like a joke.

University professors, marketing researchers, media editors and designers, journalists, advertising executives, actors, human resources managers, corporate trainers, public relations practitioners, and media managers and consultants. You'll see it as communication, communication studies, speech communication, rhetorical studies, communication sciences, media studies, communication arts, mass communication, media ecology, and communication and media science.
I'm going to make two assumptions....
A.most people with a communication degree aint doing any of those
2.most people with those jobs probably have a different degree or no degree at all


and as always, I'd be more than happy to be shown I'm wrong.
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King
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« Reply #14 on: January 10, 2013, 09:21:20 PM »

There's two main types of communications degrees.  There's mass communications which entail journalism, advertising, public relations, which obviously gives people jobs, and then there's the kumbaya discussion of what words mean human resources philosophy communications that the Onion is probably referring to.
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memphis
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« Reply #15 on: January 10, 2013, 11:47:00 PM »

Once again, we come to my father. Except he's the one with the "alarming level of pride" and I'm the one with the debt.
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dead0man
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« Reply #16 on: January 11, 2013, 12:40:21 AM »

I swear I'm not aiming these at you.


(if the next one I post is making fun of Memphis (the city) I'm in a lot of trouble)
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King
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« Reply #17 on: January 11, 2013, 01:00:28 AM »

Memphis Airport Panda Express Takes Over As Nation's Most Depressing Place


MEMPHIS, TN—With its combination of flickering fluorescent lights, seats facing a Delta security checkpoint, and day-old lo mein noodles sticking to its teal-colored tiled floors, Memphis Airport's Panda Express is now the the nation's most depressing place, sources confirmed Tuesday. "We found listening to alternating English and Spanish safety announcements while eating orange chicken at 10 in the morning to have a soul-crushing quality unlike anywhere else in America," said US News & World Report list editor Brian Kelly, adding that the chinese fast food restaurant became the nation's saddest location after overtaking a concession stand at a Flint, MI, dollar-movie theater. "The Panda Express had been holding steady at number two for several years, but once they switched from red and yellow paper plates decorated with Chinese dragons to plain-white Styrofoam containers, that took it over the top." Other locations that made this year's list were a Boca Raton, FL, burn ward, the House of Representatives, and wherever 34-year-old Fairfax, VA, resident Nate Clement happens to be.
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memphis
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« Reply #18 on: January 11, 2013, 01:15:53 AM »

The Memphis airport actually isn't too bad a place. Sure it's super dated and small, but it's also pretty quiet and low stress. I'll take it over a jampacked mega airport any day. My personal most hated airport is JFK. Huge. Busy. Loud. Full of smelly foreigners who don't get the personal space thing and rude pushy New Yorkers. Forget Dante's 9th circle of hell. Send the treacherous to JFK.
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Franzl
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« Reply #19 on: January 12, 2013, 10:20:18 AM »

The Memphis airport actually isn't too bad a place. Sure it's super dated and small, but it's also pretty quiet and low stress. I'll take it over a jampacked mega airport any day. My personal most hated airport is JFK. Huge. Busy. Loud. Full of smelly foreigners who don't get the personal space thing and rude pushy New Yorkers. Forget Dante's 9th circle of hell. Send the treacherous to JFK.

My most hated airport is pre T-5 Heathrow. It's not been quite as bad since then.
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memphis
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« Reply #20 on: January 12, 2013, 11:49:23 PM »

The Memphis airport actually isn't too bad a place. Sure it's super dated and small, but it's also pretty quiet and low stress. I'll take it over a jampacked mega airport any day. My personal most hated airport is JFK. Huge. Busy. Loud. Full of smelly foreigners who don't get the personal space thing and rude pushy New Yorkers. Forget Dante's 9th circle of hell. Send the treacherous to JFK.

My most hated airport is pre T-5 Heathrow. It's not been quite as bad since then.

I flew out of there once. The Brits are just so darn polite. It wasn't bad at all. However, the unassimilated Indians there smell so incredibly bad. I had to stand a few meters behind Indian guy in front of me in line just because of his crazy foul BO. Forgive my ignorance of a touchy subject but is deoderant uncommon in India? Even amongst those wealthy enough to afford a plane ricket to the UK? I've never had this problem in here. Indians in Memphis are very professional, probably more so than any other ethnic group. Maybe tied with the Jews. Indian hygiene here is top notch, and I think all the ones in the states would be appalled to know of how their brethern in the UK reek. Sbane, Xaxar, and any other subcontinental person, I sincerely apologize for being so frank on this delicate subject. But I feel compelled to call them how I see/smell them.
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Grumpier Than Uncle Joe
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« Reply #21 on: January 25, 2013, 12:41:18 PM »

Another media member falls for an Onion story
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Indy Texas
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« Reply #22 on: January 26, 2013, 12:22:38 AM »


Sounds like a girl I went to high school with whose parents footed the bill for her to live in NYC for over a year while she was an "intern" at a PR firm. Or, if you prefer, whose parents footed the bill for her to live in NYC for over a year and do unpaid secretarial work while attempting to live the Sex and the City lifestyle.
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King
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« Reply #23 on: January 27, 2013, 03:06:23 PM »

62-Year-Old With Gun Only One Standing Between Nation And Full-Scale Government Takeover
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dead0man
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« Reply #24 on: June 02, 2013, 12:09:16 PM »

Man On Cusp Of Having Fun Suddenly Remembers Every Single One Of His Responsibilities
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