Cathcon/Spamage: A Presidential Campaign

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

I am hereby announcing my candidacy for President of the Republic of Atlasia. Despite being a proud member of the Federalist Party, I am campaigning for the nomination of every party that would accept me on their primary/convention ballot, as I wish to be the voice of all in Atlasia who would have me. Among my platform are a couple of the following issues:

Maintaining the Constitutional Role of the President: Recently, I have received word of complaints about the current President. While working under him and with him I had no large personal differences with him, I understand that not everyone has been happy with him in recent months. As President, I would pledge to the people of Atlasia that I would maintain my constitutional role and not attempt to overstep it. I do not intend to create an overreaching and undemocratic machine while in office.

Foster Good Relations with Congress: Over the last few months, we have seen some of the most horrendous fighting between the White House and the Senate in Nyman. Many citizens across this land have come to view it merely as the "politics as usual" style that perceivedly pervades in Nyman. I however would not like to have that happen. With the likelihood that, were I elected, it would not be with a Congress favorable to my policies, I would always defer to consensus and the middle ground while at the same time still preserving the principles of the bills I supported and working with all for the betterment of this great nation.

Reform of the Federal Government: The waters have become muddied in policy lately, and there have been some very divisive movements on the part of several different parties. What I would propose would the formulation of a Presidential Advisory Committee. Comprised of five to ten members, this body would help to act as a presidential "think tank", drafting legislation as part of the executive's agenda, and as well work as a liaison with the Senate in helping to foster consensus and good relations. All committee members would be subject to nomination by the President and approval by Congress, and the only mandatory rotation would occur upon a new President's inauguration.

Reform of the Electoral System: As you may have read previously, I plan on seeking the nomination of every party available. Sadly, some parties may not want me on their primary ballots. My reforms would entail the opening of all party primaries to any willing candidates, thus allowing for a truly free democracy to ensue.

I will be announcing a running mate in the next few days, and I will field all campaign related questions here.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

I won't be endorsing you, but I know that you'll be an excellent candidate and would make a fine President.

[Talleyrand]

Welcome to the race, Cathcon! While I have already endorsed Marduke, I am excited to see another strong candidate enter the race. Competition should define Atlasia and I suspect our presidential election will see just that. I have faith you'll run a campaign worthy of our nation's great political tradition and judging from your platform combined with your prior statements, it appears you already are.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

Welcome to the race, Cathcon! While I have already endorsed Marduke, I am excited to see another strong candidate enter the race. Competition should define Atlasia and I suspect our presidential election will see just that. I have faith you'll run a campaign worthy of our nation's great political tradition and judging from your platform combined with your prior statements, it appears you already are.

[Napoleon]

I don't know if I should vote for you or Marokai.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Maintaining the Constitutional Role of the President: Recently, I have received word of complaints about the current President. While working under him and with him I had no large personal differences with him, I understand that not everyone has been happy with him in recent months. As President, I would pledge to the people of Atlasia that I would maintain my constitutional role and not attempt to overstep it. I do not intend to create an overreaching and undemocratic machine while in office.

Excuse me? The whole point of the Presidency is to grab more and more power.

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John Engle Party is not going to nominate you. Henceforth you may very well drop out right now.

[Marokai Backbeat]

Welcome to the race, Cathcon. I hope your running mate isn't William McKinley.

[Oldiesfreak1854]

Endorsed.

[Supersonic]

You're the only non Socialist running as far as I'm aware.

E-N-D-O-R-S-E-D

[HagridOfTheDeep]

You've got my full support.

Also, it's nice to see the blue avatar back, Supersonic.

[ZuWo]

I endorse you as well!

You've got my full support.

Also, it's nice to see the blue avatar back, Supersonic.

Who cares? Supersonic needs to get the Federalist avatar back.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

I thank all of you who have showed their support for me in my bid, even those that might not be first preferencing me. I'd like to congratulate Mr. Marokai on what appears to be a very detailed and exquisite platform, though one I must nonetheless run against.

Hopefully, that covers it for the most of you, all responses I've welcomed and cherished. Lastly, there's this little bit of business:

Maintaining the Constitutional Role of the President: Recently, I have received word of complaints about the current President. While working under him and with him I had no large personal differences with him, I understand that not everyone has been happy with him in recent months. As President, I would pledge to the people of Atlasia that I would maintain my constitutional role and not attempt to overstep it. I do not intend to create an overreaching and undemocratic machine while in office.

Excuse me? The whole point of the Presidency is to grab more and more power.

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John Engle Party is not going to nominate you. Henceforth you may very well drop out right now.

In response to point one, while I would like to jokingly state that I concur, but we mustn't be honest with the voters, I've decided that in order to even come close to winning, this must be a serious campaign. Therefore, I say to you: rule of law is necessary and when we begin tolerating deliberate breaches of our sacred constitution, that sets a precedent that will one day allow all Hell to break loose.

And in response to point two, I express my sympathies with the bereaved Eternal Governor of Iowa. However, we must move on and regardless of our fond memories of Mr. Engle, he is gone and the people agree. Regardless of what name you grant your party, even that of our dear fallen hero, it will not ensure victor'y, especially when running on a platform as absurd as that I've seen from your campaign.

Well wishes to you all.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Good luck to you, cathcon, and welcome to the race. This won't effect our relationship on The People's Paper staff, I assure you.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Welcome to the race, Cathcon. I hope your running mate isn't William McKinley.

I would gladly choose him as my Vice President, if only. However, sadly enough, he's dead, doesn't know how to use a computer, and would be registered in the Mideast anyway.

Good luck to you, cathcon, and welcome to the race. This won't effect our relationship on The People's Paper staff, I assure you.

Thank you Mr. Duke, and in my post-presidency I would gladly restart work with such a fine paper.

[Wisconsin+17]

Endorsed!

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

Endorsed!

[Goldwater]

ENDORSED!

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Thanks all for your support and endorsements!

Now, thanks goes out to HagridOfTheDeep for this snazzy campaign banner:

[Simfan34]

Super snazzy.

[Marokai Backbeat]

Not quite as good as a banner depicting gay sex, but it's alright!

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

That is a snazzy banner indeed.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

John Engle Party is looking forward to crush you.

[Pingvin]

Holy carp. Endorsed.

[Maxwell]

I endorse Cathcon for President!

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Again, thank you all for your support. However, I have a very important announcement to announce.

After weeks of careful consideration, I have chosen Senator Spamage of the Pacific. During his time as Governor, he worked to reform and revitalize his region in a way others have tried yet failed. He has an incredible record of public service despite a short career, and I'm honored that he's accepted my invitation to join me on this ticket. I hope you'll all support the Cathcon/Spamage ticket in the election. Thank you.