The Comedy Goldmine

[Hifly]

Oakvale's posts in this thread:
https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=184113.msg0#new

Even I found them hilarious

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Very much an FF, even though he likes to have Selbstgespräche in the Austrian thread.

English does like to adopt words from other languages... kindergarten, coup d'etat, etc etc.  Selbstgespräche probably won't be one of them.

You have to add a little sarcasm to make it properly English... "Tender enjoys the sound of his own voice in the Austrian thread" or "Tender really is pleased with his solitary wall-o-texts in the Austrian thread"

But what this really gets down to... is Tender needs to recruit more Austrians to this website.  I know they tend to be an insular bunch who care much more about whether there'll be enough Wurstsalat or Schnitzels at the Biergarten for the whole family or whether Oma brought enough of her homemade Schnapps... but we can surely come up with more than one!

I'd help but no Austrians I know would fit in here.  At all.  After the unfortunate shrinking that seemed to take place in Austria throughout the 20th century, maps are just depressing to them.

[SPC]

http://www.politico.com/story/2013/12/max-baucus-ambassador-china-101300.html?hp=f3

Baucus will resign, Dem Governor Steve Bullock will likely pick Joe Walsh to fill the seat.

My new favorite senator.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

He's a clown who provides much amusement.
But a horrible, horrible man who should be exiled to Syria along with the rest of his flock.

I agree with the first part, but what is it with you and exiling people to Syria?

As you probably know already, I'm part Persian, and our nation has traditionally exiled its political opponents to godforsaken Arab hellhole states. Unfortunately, the UAE including Dubai is no longer a suitable option as it has become much less devoid of infrastructure within the past few decades(even if the people are still bereft of culture and understanding), so I think Syria is a good potential option for the time being.

[Lief 🗽]

As a fellow half Persian, everything he's saying is correct.

[Landslide Lyndon]

27 people hate America, making this eagle cry

[minionofmidas]

As a fellow half Persian, everything he's saying is correct.

That's why it's a funny and good post.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Not just religious homophobia, but locker-room blustering and talk of "logic"! The true identity of jmfcst has been revealed.

[Marokai Backbeat]

I think drawing a mustache on a baby is immoral but that doesn't stop me from doing it.

[Anti Democrat Democrat Club]

How ARG conducts their polling:

First, numbers are picked randomly out of a hat


Then, through a contract with the local school district, third grade students are told to take the numbers and use them as variables in the "The Supersecret Highly Intelligent Turnout formula", hereafter known as The S.H.I.T. formula


It doesn't matter if they do the math correctly - that's what the margin of error is for

ARG then randomly calls a number determined by The S.H.I.T. formula. Racial turnout is based upon what color pen the third-graders used


ARG then subtracts 7 from one of the candidates totals, 'cause 7 is their lucky number

NOTE: ARG is currently considering switching to a new polling methodology involving bloodhounds, a bundle of bananas, and a bingo parlor off I-67

A classic entry.

[minionofmidas]

New shirts came today! Just one, unfortunately. I look like crap in one and the other has a swear word on it

Where are these coming from?  Do you live at Goodwill?

Nope, I paid for them with hard earned American dollars.

Do goodwill stores not accept American currency anymore?

I laughed.

[PJ]

No amount of imagination can substitute for a moving picture, Nathan.

Imagine harder.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Oh my god, JCL. Want me to send you my wedding pictures and a copy of my marriage license when I get married in California?

We can all send them. Make a gift basket.

Quite appropriate since JCL is a veritable basketcase.

[Oakvale]

This thread gets hilarious in the last two pages - https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=184274.0

[Ban my account ffs!]

As a fellow half Persian, everything he's saying is correct.

So do all the girls describe you as their "half Persian lovin' excursion"?

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

This thread gets hilarious in the last two pages - https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=184274.0

The hilarity has been largely deleted as a flamewar which both sides lost.

[Paul Kemp]

Bushie embraces the darkness.

I like the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come because he is dressed like the Grim Reaper.

[Antonio the Sixth]

I'm surprised I haven't heard of rioting in the streets yet.

Mormons are far too well-behaved for such things.

But when they announced the decision on the news, I heard that one Mormon man in Provo excused himself from the dinner table, went into the bathroom, shut the door, stuffed a towel under the door to soundproof it, and said "Gosh darn it all to heck!" It was quite the scandal. Everyone in his ward is talking about it.

[Deus Naturae]

 

I don't about SDS, but wasn't the leader of the Black Panther Movement a serial rapist who fled to Algeria before returning in the 1980s and converting to Mormonism and becoming a Reagan conservative .

One of the most badass men alive, yes.

Eldridge Cleaver died in 1998. Badass normally has positive connotations. Do you admire this piece of scum?

Advocated for civil rights, sexual freedom, limited government, and the doctrine of Jesus Christ. What's not to like?

[Oakvale]

Great site to use for porn queries.

Yeah, I use it for that sole purpose.

"Your brother's friend" too?

[Antonio the Sixth]

BA in Biological Sciences from next year.

Where?

[Joe Republic]

That's not my idea of exciting, but what do I know?

[ElectionsGuy]

The people and representatives of Utah together banned it. The federal government needs to respect the will of the citizens of Utah and California to maintain and enforce their bans of gay marriage. Article 1 Section 8 and the 10th Amendment apply in this case. Keep standing against this activist judge and enforce the ban in the name of the Constitution.  Liberty without Morality is anarchy

Stop this immoral rhetoric. It's causing anarchy.

[Paul Kemp]

A 14 yr old sneaking out is a slut so no conservative tears need be shed.

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

Recently, one of my teen Friends was ordered to appear in front of the District Attorney for sending pictures of his gentails. The also underaged lady did tell him before he sent it that it was fine and would not bother her. I expressed concern like most people, but not on the sympathy level on the political level instead. I feel his first amendments rights were violated for no one was harmed and the other lady on the cell phone was not bothered so it did not violate her rights. My bill that yes I have sent to my local state legislator included:
Legalizing sexting
Banning underage pornography
Expanding internet and social rights
People should respect what other people wish to share. I do agree that it will more then likely fill stupid for sending it later, but should not be prosecuted for it.