The Comedy Goldmine

[badgate]

"Battle Hymn of the Republic" has a nice melody but ... . People don't need to psychologically prepare themselves to die before the start of a baseball game.

[Antonio the Sixth]

"Democrats say he's Black. Republicans say they only shot at him because they felt threatened."

"Democrats say he's Black. Republicans ask him if he knows their black friend."

"Democrats say he's Black. Republicans say he's Urban."

"Democrats say he's Black. Republicans say he needs to show them his ID."

[Oakvale]

Cathcon continues to be among our best posters.

Liberalism is never finished. It will continue until it ravenously devours our nation and dissolves it into an amorphous, collectivist blob.

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Taking a look at the clip of the final play, I saw something I hadn't expected.
http://youtu.be/sLO2SmM9gPw?t=1m15s

When did Naso become an Alabama fan?

[Paul Kemp]

Context, naturally:

I do two things. The first is that I pick up the pistol in front of me. The second is that I use it to blow my brains out.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

I was baptized and confirmed in the Greek Orthodox Church, which apparently means I can visit Mount Athos if I want to (restricted to Orthodox males over 18).

Are cell phones allowed there? If so it'd be a great place to play Ingress.

[TheDeadFlagBlues]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

And here I was thinking this would be a new and long-awaited chapter to this book

[Badger]

> Nukes the Senate GOP
> Stops Iranian nukes

Sorry, but it's hard to be a badass when one can't get a website to work.

Nothing's more badass than a knowledge of HTML code right?

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Sadly I don't have a list of who's burning in hell for not having the same beliefs as me and who is not.  I think I left that in my other pants pocket.

EDIT: Just checked.  Yes, but she's getting out early for good behavior.

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

Maybe the cop's daughter is on a rival dance team?

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Did wanna post this in the STSM or the GPG, so I guess it goes here.

I disagree with Kansas being not courteous.

[Paul Kemp]

whitefeelings.txt below -

I get the sense that if I pretended I was white my posts wouldn't be as infuriating to Republicans...

It would actually be even more infuriating. Hypocritical white assholes who get on their soapbox to lecture people who have more important things to be thinking about as to how they should be sorry for their 'privilege', when of course the very same people will most likely have lived the same privileged existence. Take some advice, if people from minorities find this sort of thing 'tin-eared' and hurtful, they should grow a thicker skin and stop whining. It is perfectly acceptable in our society to insult a ginger person for 'having no soul', or to insinuate that every Roman Catholic is a paedophile who lurks in a confessional box waiting to molest choir boys. Blacks, homosexuals and other 'oppressed' minorities need to grow up and realise that, yes, people can be insensitive, or deliberately hurtful, but that in the end that is not and should not be a crime. Threatening someone is, blackmailing them is, but not making an insensitive joke or a slip of the tongue. Do you really think racism (and sexism and all the other 'isms' and phobias) will be reduced by having a hissy fit every time someone makes a comment like this, a clue: no. It will be reduced by not forcing people to constantly be on edge, fearing that they will lose their career and prospects and then held up to media ridicule if they make an insensitive or hurtful remark.

Now, I'm a very privileged person, at least by global standards. But I'm not shutting up because of this.

List of my top three favorite things the internet has invented:

1) gifs
2) white tears
3) high definition streaming pornographic videos

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Little known fact, Karl Marx wrote Matthew 19:23-26,  Mark 10:24-25, and Luke 18:24-25.

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Will it bring universal healthcare, politeness, maple syrup, and/or more episodes of orphan black with it?

[DC Al Fine]

I want to see my mess and be ashamed of it. 

[PJ]

18-24 year olds are always anti-establishment, which happens to be Democrat right now.  They're not actually going to vote for some Republican splooge who reminds them of their high school principal.

To be fair, Hillary reminds me of an overly strict librarian.

[DC Al Fine]

Phew.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

And by Sanchez, no less.

[courts]

What's a "twerk"?

I think it is a slightly built, boyish lad.  Ask torie about it.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

Context

Blair, but damn me, those Mormon missionaries have certainly been busy.

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Context:

None.

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

Speaking of Mandela's funeral:

Is WBC coming?

No, but I'm sure Uganda will send a delegation, so it will just about be the same thing.

[Napoleon]

Maybe Obamacare can revive Billy Mays

[Oakvale]

I love the hate coming from individuals who lack the academic and intellectual capacity to go to the Best Colleges.

[Joe Republic]

Bolding is mine:

I don't think it's wise for a Christian to date outside the faith. There are at least two references (Ephesians and Corinthians) where many evangelicals(I included) apply those verses with regards to dating. Personally I don't think dating as we know it properly prepares one for marriage.

This coming from a guy who got a no from a Baptist preachers daughter and sister because of my speaking in tounges.