The Comedy Goldmine

[Paul Kemp]

Meant to vote 'yes' but voted 'no'

No problem there

it turns out that "no" actually means "yes" sometimes

Thanks Robin Thicke!

[Paul Kemp]

 I found this bit in an old thread a bit amusing given recent events:

As for bandit73, apparently, he didn't like my admonishment.  I had several complaints against some of his emotional diatribes and I asked him to tone it down.

Dave must have administered some PM therapy. RIP BANDIT.

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

Say you are hungry and want to steal your sister's fries, right? You can see she's distracted, complaining that there isn't enough salt, looking around for a packet inbetween taking sips of her strawberry milkshake. So you slide on in and steal a fry. She angrily responds with her plastic fork. It hurt, but the plastic just bends and warps. Then you tip her milkshake over, and when she leaves to get some napkins you gobble down her cheeseburger. That's the Mexican-American War.

[Paul Kemp]

looks like we have a case of keyboard falling

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

As a decade long Atlasian, I've seen many ups and downs within this great republic. However, I feel it prudent to announce that I am wholeheartedly against a Marxist Party or revolution in Atlasia.

The ideas of Marxism are thoroughly flawed, and one knows that the only possible way such horrific social ideals can be implemented within a society is by revolution. I fear that the communist manifesto and ideas of such could soon become common place within Atlasia if we do not take harsh action against such negative forum ethics. Let us begin our rally against the Marxists now.

Reaganfan

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

Millenial parents like "adalynn" because it sounds like "ritalin"

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Hilarious in hindsight,

That I need to start smoking pot to get away from this place

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Context

Has Pope Francis ever been to Dudefest?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Same question as the title. (Why does the right tend to oppose the minimum wage?) On what grounds could the minimum wage be considered a bad thing?

.
.
.

Because they want power over other people.

They long for the return of slavery.

To oppress the poor and weak.

Because they hate working class people.

Privileged elites seek maximal profit irrespective of the human cost.

Because they hate poors.

.
.
.

Did you really need to make a thread for this?

[Antonio the Sixth]

All these replies belong in the Simple Truths Silver Mine.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

All these replies belong in the Simple Truths Silver Mine.

They can go in both.  It's just so funny how predictable clicking on that thread was. 

[Swedish Rainbow Capitalist Cheese]

There is no way this thread will go well.

How would you define 'not well', prude?- if there are any non-virgins?

The prospect of "this thread not ending well" certainly included you making a moronic comment involving the word "prude".

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

I apologize for making this thread, FWIW.  I take full responsibility for the ensuing s**tstorm.

snowstalker no stop
don't give him ideas

we're only five down from majority nonvirgin, this is so much better than I expected and an improvement compared to polls like this in the past

good job atlas i'm so proud of you

[Talleyrand]

context:

No (normal)

With your Chevy Tahoe?

#GOPswagg

[Oakvale]

...are you at all familiar with the internet?

Are you insulting me?

No, I think you're doing that all by yourself.

So... as you are familiar, as you say, with the internet, then presumably you know what a 'sockpuppet' or a 'sock' means in the context of the internet?

I don't know what you mean, but you don't have to be rude about it. What kind of moderator are you?

[Fritz]

"There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for virginity no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with that, who are dependent upon pornography, who believe that they are victims, who believe the forum has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to tumblr, to maps, to you-name-it. That that's an entitlement. And the internet should give it to them. And they will vote for this no matter what…These are people who pay no prostitutes."

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

I apologize for making this thread, FWIW.  I take full responsibility for the ensuing s**tstorm.

Etiquette lesson: Apologizing requires the creation of a new thread.

[Antonio the Sixth]

"There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for virginity no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with that, who are dependent upon pornography, who believe that they are victims, who believe the forum has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to tumblr, to maps, to you-name-it. That that's an entitlement. And the internet should give it to them. And they will vote for this no matter what…These are people who pay no prostitutes."

OMG I'm dying right now.

[Goldwater]

Um, no. It is rather difficult to be a gay virgin, unless you are fat and ugly. I am neither.

Or you live in a place where another gay guy who isn't in the closet is difficult impossible to find (except for one who's actually a literal HP).

Adam is in eastbumf**k Georgia and still gets laid. There's no reason you can't.

I dunno, Eastbumf**k sounds like a great place to live if you are gay.

[Antonio the Sixth]

This is utterly schocking.

[Sopranos Republican]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=185151.0

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Interesting compromise...

Solomonesque

[Mechaman]

For newer posters, a note regarding ARG:

How ARG conducts their polling:

First, numbers are picked randomly out of a hat


Then, through a contract with the local school district, third grade students are told to take the numbers and use them as variables in the "The Supersecret Highly Intelligent Turnout formula", hereafter known as The S.H.I.T. formula


It doesn't matter if they do the math correctly - that's what the margin of error is for

ARG then randomly calls a number determined by The S.H.I.T. formula. Racial turnout is based upon what color pen the third-graders used


ARG then subtracts 7 from one of the candidates totals, 'cause 7 is their lucky number

NOTE: ARG is currently considering switching to a new polling methodology involving bloodhounds, a bundle of bananas, and a bingo parlor off I-67

Hahahhaha

[Oakvale]

I will grudgingly admit this made me chuckle -

"i don't shower because john locke"

[Joe Republic]

I'm not in favour of slavery but my girlfriend* is



(* - This is Atlas so this is a purely hypothetical person. But she would be)