I've given up. I am a "big tent Republican"; that is all talk in the party now, there is no genuine "big tent". "Big tent" doesn't mean lots of entitlement programs (which I'm against), but it does mean tolerance... not just begrudgingly tolerant, but openly and abundantly tolerant.
"Big tent" Republicanism does still turn up. I was at a major fundraiser in my staunch GOP county and the guest speaker was Christy Whitman. Her speech included talk about fiscal conservatism. She mostly talked about the "big tent" but preferred to use the metaphor of a "big umbrella" instead. The umbrella had no door to keep people out.