Comedy Goldmine XII: A reimagining with Edward James Olmos and Mary McDonnell

[Obnoxiously Slutty Girly Girl]

Still at it I see, px?

[Landslide Lyndon]

Still at it I see, px?

You're the mother lode of this goldmine.

[The Mikado]

Friendly reminder: the Goldmine is not for flamewars.  Take it outside.

This thread is for funny things.  Funny!

Oh, damn, I'm running afoul of this myself: better think of something funny.

Why did the chicken cross the road...no.

Knock, knock, whose...no.

I got it!

In United States, you drive car.

In Soviet Russia, car drives you!

See, it's funny because the commies do everything backwards! 

[Marokai Backbeat]

I don't see how Segwaystyle could have been Hamilton.

It was confirmed as such. Which is territory you're heading suspiciously close to as well, Señor-posted-exclusively-through-proxies-just-like-all-of-Hamilton's-other-accounts-and-then-when-everyone-started-noticing-the-proxy-overload-quietly-switched-to-a-normal-IP-that-happens-to-be-a-university-computer-at-Hamilton's-school-but-plays-it-cool-like-he's-completely-innocent-just-like-segway-did-and-wow-this-name-is-getting-really-long.

Hey, that was my mother's maiden name.  Don't trash it.

[Obnoxiously Slutty Girly Girl]

Friendly reminder: the Goldmine is not for flamewars.  Take it outside.

This thread is for funny things.  Funny!

Indeed. px can't seem to get it through his head that this thread is for posts that are funny, not for posts that he just happens to disagree with.

[Phony Moderate]

Friendly reminder: the Goldmine is not for flamewars.  Take it outside.

This thread is for funny things.  Funny!

Indeed. px can't seem to get it through his head that this thread is for posts that are funny, not for posts that he just happens to disagree with.

[King]

Then, we went to Wal-Mart and looked at different stationery items and the toast glasses.

this is shaping up to be the social event of the year in oklahoma.  i always enjoy a classy wedding....

[Lunar]

Libertas, you don't have to keep posting off-topic things in this thread to complain about other people posting off-topic things.  That just starts a useless back and forth.  It's probably best to just ignore them.  Actually, certainly so.

p.s. sex changes are awesome, everyone should try

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I don't see how Segwaystyle could have been Hamilton.

It was confirmed as such. Which is territory you're heading suspiciously close to as well, Señor-posted-exclusively-through-proxies-just-like-all-of-Hamilton's-other-accounts-and-then-when-everyone-started-noticing-the-proxy-overload-quietly-switched-to-a-normal-IP-that-happens-to-be-a-university-computer-at-Hamilton's-school-but-plays-it-cool-like-he's-completely-innocent-just-like-segway-did-and-wow-this-name-is-getting-really-long.

[The Mikado]

Mikado. (looking at paper) Dear, dear, dear! this is very tiresome. (to Ko-Ko) My poor fellow, in your anxiety to carry out my wishes you have beheaded the heir to the throne of Japan!

In his defence, Einzige was one of the five most influential posters on here. The mods just didn't realise it.

[Mechaman]

Economic score: +9.68 Social score: -0.7

Yuck yuck yuck.

Why "yuck yuck yuck"?

Too high a econ score and too low a social score

Aw, Winston, c'mon, this whole sudden socialist thing is unbelievable enough, but now you're going to start criticizing a score similar to what you would have had just a few months ago?

Sudden? Nah. And I haven't had a social score that low since the end of 2008 ftr.

Dude, your shifts are more random then Tmth's back in 2009

How ironic that YOU should criticise me for swinging politically.

Dude, Winston a few months back you made me look like a sane economic libertarian, and now you got the average leftist poster econ score.
You do swing pretty radically.

It's called growing up.

Puberty is a bitch, ain't it?

Now I'm not the biggest fan of Silent Spade, but that was a pretty funny comeback.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

I can't believe 13 posts have come and gone without someone asking about the flavor of Marokai's meat. Perhaps it's just because you all have better taste than I.

Do you smell what The Cock is cooking?

[Mechaman]

Here's my guess:

Minnesota: 25B, 26A, 26B, 27A, 32A, 32B, 34A, 34B, 35A, 35B, 36B, 37B, 38B, 39A, 40B, 41A, 41B, 45A, 45B, 46A, 46B, 49A, 49B, 50B, 51B, 54A, 54B, 58A, 58B, 60A, 61A, 61B, 62A, 62B, 63B, 64A, 64B, 65A, 65B, 66A, 66B

Iowa: 11

How did you get to sit in so many state house seats? You would have gotten arrested probably before you even got to the first one.

[President Mitt]

liberal leftist socialists embracing the European left

As to why Tennessee is so Republican.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Dave Leip was actually a pseudonym for a group of people who collaborated on election theory in the 1970s.  The origin is unknown, but it is theorized it comes from the bandit in Zane Grey's Wanderer of the Wasteland, who repeatedly sodomizes the lead character.  The people who originally operated under the "Dave Leip" name are long deceased, but they created robots to serve in their place.  Lacking human needs, they can devote all of their time to elections, from the federal to the local level.  These 'bots' are still seen on this forum today, mostly viewing suspicious topics.  

It is unknown why this information is being collected, but it is clear the bots want to use this information to take over the world - hence "Atlas" forum.

Alarmingly, some of the bots began acquiring human characteristics, like feelings, and sometimes even sexual preferences (almost always trending toward homosexuality).  The bots also began to replicate themselves, not unlike humans.  The descendants of the original bots are sometimes infected by viruses unseen in the originals.  Some bots are programmed only to make sardonic remarks, others to find pornographic images and spread them throughout the forum.  

There was one bot in particular that was very destructive.  Some believe it may wipe out the entire forum, then the world.  It inherited a rare virus which programmed it to post on the forum over and over and over again.  The one saving grace for the world may be the particular bots' innate stupidity.  As soon as it was launched, Project Rochambeau was considered an immediate failure.  Efforts have been made to reconfigure the bot, but to no avail.  We will continue to update you on any progress.

 

[Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey]

Pre-school toy party

Milk and cookies party

[Magic 8-Ball]

Uh, Okie, check out the third Guest.  You may want to stop doing these threads.

Or maybe you are the center of Oklahoma's attention.  Hmm...

That's probably just a search bot, like most of the guests.  Probably a robot who's striving for human emotions, and wants to use Okie's dating skills as a guide to picking up women.

  Nice one, Morden.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Yes lets pass financial reform because allowing the executive branch to takeover a company is a good thing (sarcasm).  The GOP should fillibuster everything that Obama has on the table.

I'm dissapointed with you JS. You were much better as CoburnIn2012.

[Sensei]

I knew that you drinking your pop bottle through holes you poked at the top was not a very good idea.

[??????????]

d.The message board as a whole doesn't lean very hard in any political direction (which would make it easy for a lady or 5 to hide in the echo chamber)

[Lunar]

No - I don't think anybody should be removed from money - no real reason - I'm just a stubborn person who hates change.

If you hate change, then why do you care about who is pictured on it?

[Sewer]

d.The message board as a whole doesn't lean very hard in any political direction (which would make it easy for a lady or 5 to hide in the echo chamber)

... it doesn't.

[Badger]

OK i will nominate Barnes if not MasterJedi maybe tmthforu94 if both do not accept or whoever responds first.

Let's go on a play date, too!

[Filuwaúrdjan]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?action=profile;u=3398;sa=showPosts

[Sewer]

lol lol

Roosevelt put the Japanese in internment camps, but I guess that doesn't count because he's a Democrat.