You just become President for Life

[John Dibble]

My first act would be to create the Bureau of Reproduction, run by a Reproduction Czar of my choosing. The primary duty of the BOR is to determine who will not be allowed to reproduce. Some people will be sterilized while others might simply be given a handicap that makes finding a mate harder, like maybe cutting off their arms and legs. This will be the first and most important step in my War on Idiocy, and in only a few generations I expect that the intelligence of the nation will rise sharply.

After this we'll work on trimming the fat of the government, gradually eliminating unnecessary spending and corporate subsidies over a ten year period.

Other changes will be made according to what I feel makes sense.

Also, because it's no fun to be a dictator with absolute power without going a little mad, I will make every other Thursday "Silly Hat Day" - anyone not wearing a silly hat on those days will be flogged by the Hat Police. Anyone caught wearing a silly hat on the wrong Thursdays will be beaten with a dead fish by the Fish Police.

[Swedish Rainbow Capitalist Cheese]

1) Throw the people who's idea it was to have an almighty president in jail
2) Give myself a huge pension
3) Reinstate Democracy
4) Do my best governing the country until my term was up
5) Spend the rest of my days traveling the world with people I love, never having to worry about money due to that huge pension I mentioned

 

[Stampever]

1)  I would require all public and cable networks to air a one-week course on Constitution.
2)  Require everyone 18 years of age and older to take a test on the material
3)  Call Congress and have them fix whatever rule that allowed me to become a "dictator"
4)  Once 90% of the selected population passes the test with a grade of 90%, I would call for a national election to replace me. 

[Хahar 🤔]

Desperately try to stay President-for-Life.

[Free Palestine]

Order that all senators, representatives (except Ron Paul), governors, and Supreme Court justices be exiled to Angola.  Roll back 99% of government, reverting the federal government to it's original constitutional limits.  Then I will order Beverly Hills bulldozed and turned into a middle-class suburb.  Then, I'd resign.

[A18]

Hang everyone else in government, burn the closest American flag, and then restore the splendid Articles of Confederation.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Give Oklahoma back to Native Americans and handed to them Tom Coburn, Jim Inhofe and Dan Boren

Then invite cooliest fellows from Atlas to big and free White House all-night party

[k-onmmunist]

*deep breath in*

I would get rid of the second amendment, make sure the death penalty was applied more often to murderers, give the states the power of nullification back, disband all federal economics agences, disband the federal reserve, put the US back on the gold standard, remove all tariffs, abolish income tax, and send more troops to Afghanistan.

I would then call for an election in 2 years time, and resign my powers as President.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Assuming that I became U.S. President for live:

1. Abolish the death penalty
2. Establish the universal health care
3. Legalize marijuana
4. Deport Sarah Palin to Russia
5. Send Saxby Chambliss back in time to Vietnam, so he would learn the respect for disabled veterans

[Richard]

- nationalize the Federal Reserve, seizing all assets and liabilities; Congress will start issuing money

- withdraw all soldiers back to the USA effective immediately

- stop all foreign aid; there's $13 trillion in debt and it can't be afforded

- nationalize Goldman Sachs and then dissolve it; it is a corrupt entity

- execute:
**  Goldman Sachs board of directors and management
**  Former Freddie Mae, Fannie Mae board of directors and management
**  Madeoff
**  entire Federal Reserve System board and management, as well as the individual Federal Reserve Banks' boards and management
**  a much longer list, too long to put down here

- phase out Medicare and Medicaid over next 10 years for existing people using it; no new people will be allowed to join

- raise retirement age for social security to 85; you'll have 2 years to find a job if you're currently drawing social security, after that all payments stop

- shut down Veterans crap;

- no new debt issues; possible default on part of the debt

- end War on * where * is everything... Drugs, Terror, Iraq, etc.

- close off borders to illegals; they get deported immediately when caught... if found a third time in the country illegally they will be executed

- all green cards will be stopped while the program is revised, certainly no more cards for people in third world countries

- all citizenships issued in the last 20 years will be under review and revoked if necessary

- all drugs legalized

- dissolve CIA and ATF


There's so much more...

[Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee]

The first thing I would do is sigh very heavily and say either "How the hell did I get into this one?", or "What the hell do I do now?" Then I would call important people around the world to restore confidence in America's new leadership like the Prime Ministers of Britain, Canada, Australia, and Isreal; the Presidents of France, Russia, and a few other select countries; and finally the Pope(there are a lot of Catholics in the US afterall though too few listen to the Pope anyway).

Then I would work to achieve confidence in the US Dollar again, by then it will have collapsed. I would only support a Gold standard though if the situation was beyond repair.

I would slowly phase out the current tax code replacing it with a much flatter, lower, and efficient system that encourages investment and competition.

I would privatise Social Security but worked to secure the accounts from wild fluctuations in the stock market. I would secure Medicare, Medicaid, and the Health system by using the same general principles outlined in Atlasia and the forum at-large by yours truly.

I would take advantage of the situation and work to open access to US exports in exchange for various things the US can provide, protection, foriegn aide, local investment and development, and reciprocal openess in trade.

Some Spending
My spending priorities would concentrate on the Military, Education, R&D investment(On military, Aerospace, Medical, Energy and transportation, and Industrial Manufacturing tech), and investments in Economic infrastructure especially projects that reduce our dependency on foriegn energy. Every option will be on the table from increased oil production(which will have an extraction fee charged to fund some of the projects and research above), Clean Coal, and Oil shale, to Wind, Solar, Nuclear(mostly into research into Waster storage and Nuclear Fusion since Fission is so damaging long term), and hydrogen.

Cutting Gov't
Overall however I would cut wide swaths away from Gov't consolidating the number of cabinet positions for instance I would take Commerce, Health and Human Services, EPA, Education, Housing and Urban Development, and Energy Depts cut there overhead by 50% or more and roll them into the Treasury Dept as Agencies; reforming entitlements bringing them back into the red and tacking literally 40 Trillion in unfunded liabilities off the Treasury's back, strenthing Gov't Bonds and the Dollar; and cutting out corruption and fraud in both discretionary and entitlement spending.

Defending our borders
I would immediately sign executive orders dealing with Immigration to get that under control. Simple things like sealing up tunnells on the border with Concrete. I would expand both the real fence and the rest of the way put in place a "virtual fence" of censors, un-manned drones, with fast response helicopters carrying border patrol within 10 minutes of any possible incursion point. I would Qunintople the border patrol to achieve this. I would also screen every container comming into America. No one will sneak a nuke into NYC under my watch, and work to secure our Airports. If a cockroach comes into the US I want federal authorities to know where, when, why, and its name/rank/ serial #.

Illegal Immigration
I would increase the number of officers responsible for interior enforcement from about 1500 to 500,000. I would implemet and biometric ID card for migrant workers and resident Aliens ONLY. If you apply for a job you better have a legitmate US birth certificate, and social security card  or the ID card and papers. I would require all employers to use E-Verify on all new employees to make sure they are who they say they are. If an employer hires someone with those two or doesn't follow procedure after someone is kicked back from E-Verify can be fined up to $250,000 and be put in jail for up to 5 years on offense number two plus another fine. If someone is caught committing ID theft, they will be forced to spend either 30 years in jail or pay full restitution to the agreived party up to $1 million dollars. They shall also be responsible for any crimes, debts, purchases, and or other things acrude under the victims names.
Any state or city that is a Sanctuary for Illegals, won't get any anti-terrorism funding(after all Mike Bloomberg said it should be distributed based on risk like an insurance company, however NYC would be too high risk cause it is a Sanctuary city. All states that gives in-state tuition breaks to Illegals will get not Education money, and any state that issues them licenses gets no Highway money.

Legal Immigration
As for Legal Immigration the standards will be increased, essentially the same ones at Ellis Island, read English, not be sick with contagious illnesses, etc. Overall the number of legal immigrants will be capped at 100,000 per year. With priority given to refugees, and those either highly educated already or seeking higher education in the US. Chain migration will be reduced to immediate family members only. Lastly English will be made the National Language and encouraged throughout the states as the Univeral language of communication. The first step in acceptting each other is being able to understand each other. I will not let America turn into Canada, Belgium, or Yugoslavia.

Drugs
Marijuana will be re-criminalised. Dealers of Any illicit drug will be subject to the Death Penalty, or better yet being shot on site by firing squad.

Any user will be put into real rehab(not those spas that Paris Hilton goes too for a few weeks and is call rehab). If that doesn't work futher medical attention may be required, by the 3 or 4 time they start to risk Jail.

Tobacco will be made illegal but slowly. Money will be spent to help people addicted break the addiction, farmers will be given subsidies to switch to a different crop, and the Cigarrette factories retooled to produce Medical supplies or Atlernative energy.

Alcohol sales will be restricted by oz. on a daily basis. Money will be there to help the Alcoholics break there addiction.

Social Issues
Abortion will be restricted to the first three months no exceptions except for the health of the mother. If you are raped or are a victim of incest you would most likely get the Abortion soon after they learn of the Pregnancy. All others not raped or a victim of incest will be strongly discouraged from having an Abortion but not prevented from doing so in those three months.

Racial Issues
Move towards a color blind society, treat everybody the same, base preferential treatment on poverty not race. 


Then I will call up congress and ask them to close whatever loop-hole put me in power. I will stay in power long enough to ensure a Supreme Court of my liking. Then I will resign and ride off into the sunset. I will find a rural country house and spend the rest of my days there reflecting on my wonderful successes, missed opportunities, upsurdities, the good food, and the warm memories of a several decades long adventure in Washington D.C. America will get exactly the kind of leadership it needs, my kind.

[War on Want]

The first thing I would do is sigh very heavily and say either "How the hell did I get into this one?", or "What the hell do I do now?" Then I would call important people around the world to restore confidence in America's new leadership like the Prime Ministers of Britain, Canada, Australia, and Isreal; the Presidents of France, Russia, and a few other select countries; and finally the Pope(there are a lot of Catholics in the US afterall though too few listen to the Pope anyway).

Then I would work to achieve confidence in the US Dollar again, by then it will have collapsed. I would only support a Gold standard though if the situation was beyond repair.

I would slowly phase out the current tax code replacing it with a much flatter, lower, and efficient system that encourages investment and competition.

I would privatise Social Security but worked to secure the accounts from wild fluctuations in the stock market. I would secure Medicare, Medicaid, and the Health system by using the same general principles outlined in Atlasia and the forum at-large by yours truly.

I would take advantage of the situation and work to open access to US exports in exchange for various things the US can provide, protection, foriegn aide, local investment and development, and reciprocal openess in trade.

Some Spending
My spending priorities would concentrate on the Military, Education, R&D investment(On military, Aerospace, Medical, Energy and transportation, and Industrial Manufacturing tech), and investments in Economic infrastructure especially projects that reduce our dependency on foriegn energy. Every option will be on the table from increased oil production(which will have an extraction fee charged to fund some of the projects and research above), Clean Coal, and Oil shale, to Wind, Solar, Nuclear(mostly into research into Waster storage and Nuclear Fusion since Fission is so damaging long term), and hydrogen.

Cutting Gov't
Overall however I would cut wide swaths away from Gov't consolidating the number of cabinet positions for instance I would take Commerce, Health and Human Services, EPA, Education, Housing and Urban Development, and Energy Depts cut there overhead by 50% or more and roll them into the Treasury Dept as Agencies; reforming entitlements bringing them back into the red and tacking literally 40 Trillion in unfunded liabilities off the Treasury's back, strenthing Gov't Bonds and the Dollar; and cutting out corruption and fraud in both discretionary and entitlement spending.

Defending our borders
I would immediately sign executive orders dealing with Immigration to get that under control. Simple things like sealing up tunnells on the border with Concrete. I would expand both the real fence and the rest of the way put in place a "virtual fence" of censors, un-manned drones, with fast response helicopters carrying border patrol within 10 minutes of any possible incursion point. I would Qunintople the border patrol to achieve this. I would also screen every container comming into America. No one will sneak a nuke into NYC under my watch, and work to secure our Airports. If a cockroach comes into the US I want federal authorities to know where, when, why, and its name/rank/ serial #.

Illegal Immigration
I would increase the number of officers responsible for interior enforcement from about 1500 to 500,000. I would implemet and biometric ID card for migrant workers and resident Aliens ONLY. If you apply for a job you better have a legitmate US birth certificate, and social security card  or the ID card and papers. I would require all employers to use E-Verify on all new employees to make sure they are who they say they are. If an employer hires someone with those two or doesn't follow procedure after someone is kicked back from E-Verify can be fined up to $250,000 and be put in jail for up to 5 years on offense number two plus another fine. If someone is caught committing ID theft, they will be forced to spend either 30 years in jail or pay full restitution to the agreived party up to $1 million dollars. They shall also be responsible for any crimes, debts, purchases, and or other things acrude under the victims names.
Any state or city that is a Sanctuary for Illegals, won't get any anti-terrorism funding(after all Mike Bloomberg said it should be distributed based on risk like an insurance company, however NYC would be too high risk cause it is a Sanctuary city. All states that gives in-state tuition breaks to Illegals will get not Education money, and any state that issues them licenses gets no Highway money.

Legal Immigration
As for Legal Immigration the standards will be increased, essentially the same ones at Ellis Island, read English, not be sick with contagious illnesses, etc. Overall the number of legal immigrants will be capped at 100,000 per year. With priority given to refugees, and those either highly educated already or seeking higher education in the US. Chain migration will be reduced to immediate family members only. Lastly English will be made the National Language and encouraged throughout the states as the Univeral language of communication. The first step in acceptting each other is being able to understand each other. I will not let America turn into Canada, Belgium, or Yugoslavia.

Drugs
Marijuana will be re-criminalised. Dealers of Any illicit drug will be subject to the Death Penalty, or better yet being shot on site by firing squad.
Any user will be put into real rehab(not those spas that Paris Hilton goes too for a few weeks and is call rehab). If that doesn't work futher medical attention may be required, by the 3 or 4 time they start to risk Jail.

Tobacco will be made illegal but slowly. Money will be spent to help people addicted break the addiction, farmers will be given subsidies to switch to a different crop, and the Cigarrette factories retooled to produce Medical supplies or Atlernative energy.

Alcohol sales will be restricted by oz. on a daily basis. Money will be there to help the Alcoholics break there addiction.

Social Issues
Abortion will be restricted to the first three months no exceptions except for the health of the mother. If you are raped or are a victim of incest you would most likely get the Abortion soon after they learn of the Pregnancy. All others not raped or a victim of incest will be strongly discouraged from having an Abortion but not prevented from doing so in those three months.

Racial Issues
Move towards a color blind society, treat everybody the same, base preferential treatment on poverty not race. 


Then I will call up congress and ask them to close whatever loop-hole put me in power. I will stay in power long enough to ensure a Supreme Court of my liking. Then I will resign and ride off into the sunset. I will find a rural country house and spend the rest of my days there reflecting on my wonderful successes, missed opportunities, upsurdities, the good food, and the warm memories of a several decades long adventure in Washington D.C. America will get exactly the kind of leadership it needs, my kind.

Eewww dude, I can't tell if you are joking or not but that is crazy. Anyways why do you hate pot so much?

[King]

Fake my death.

[War on Want]

Order that all senators, representatives (except Ron Paul), governors, and Supreme Court justices be exiled to Angola.  Roll back 99% of government, reverting the federal government to it's original constitutional limits.  Then I will order Beverly Hills bulldozed and turned into a middle-class suburb.  Then, I'd resign.

why'd you want to that with the economic pm score you have?

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Order that all senators, representatives (except Ron Paul), governors, and Supreme Court justices be exiled to Angola.  Roll back 99% of government, reverting the federal government to it's original constitutional limits.  Then I will order Beverly Hills bulldozed and turned into a middle-class suburb.  Then, I'd resign.

why'd you want to that with the economic pm score you have?

What do you think of my plan? I think you'd be the poster most favorable.

[fezzyfestoon]

Press restart and resign.  And if I'm feeling frisky I'll implement measures to prevent sprawl before I resign.

[Ebowed]

Deport John McCain back to Panama where he bloody belongs.

Then I'd probably start nationalizing various industries, ban HMOs, abolish capital punishment, abolish DOMA, grant amnesty to undocumented immigrants, grant amnesty to people convicted of victimless crimes, institute a national minimum income, begin a mandatory gun confiscation scheme, and slash the defense/military budget by at least 95%.

[Sensei]

Deport John McCain back to Panama where he bloody belongs.

My people don't want him.

[Mechaman]

Give Oklahoma back to Native Americans and handed to them Tom Coburn, Jim Inhofe and Dan Boren

Then invite cooliest fellows from Atlas to big and free White House all-night party

I love this one. First you are saying you would give Oklahoma back to my people (hey I'm 1/8th Texas Commanche, not Okie but still, I should count), and then you are going to invite us to a free White House kegger.

Two words: Pure Awesome.

[Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee]

The first thing I would do is sigh very heavily and say either "How the hell did I get into this one?", or "What the hell do I do now?" Then I would call important people around the world to restore confidence in America's new leadership like the Prime Ministers of Britain, Canada, Australia, and Isreal; the Presidents of France, Russia, and a few other select countries; and finally the Pope(there are a lot of Catholics in the US afterall though too few listen to the Pope anyway).

Then I would work to achieve confidence in the US Dollar again, by then it will have collapsed. I would only support a Gold standard though if the situation was beyond repair.

I would slowly phase out the current tax code replacing it with a much flatter, lower, and efficient system that encourages investment and competition.

I would privatise Social Security but worked to secure the accounts from wild fluctuations in the stock market. I would secure Medicare, Medicaid, and the Health system by using the same general principles outlined in Atlasia and the forum at-large by yours truly.

I would take advantage of the situation and work to open access to US exports in exchange for various things the US can provide, protection, foriegn aide, local investment and development, and reciprocal openess in trade.

Some Spending
My spending priorities would concentrate on the Military, Education, R&D investment(On military, Aerospace, Medical, Energy and transportation, and Industrial Manufacturing tech), and investments in Economic infrastructure especially projects that reduce our dependency on foriegn energy. Every option will be on the table from increased oil production(which will have an extraction fee charged to fund some of the projects and research above), Clean Coal, and Oil shale, to Wind, Solar, Nuclear(mostly into research into Waster storage and Nuclear Fusion since Fission is so damaging long term), and hydrogen.

Cutting Gov't
Overall however I would cut wide swaths away from Gov't consolidating the number of cabinet positions for instance I would take Commerce, Health and Human Services, EPA, Education, Housing and Urban Development, and Energy Depts cut there overhead by 50% or more and roll them into the Treasury Dept as Agencies; reforming entitlements bringing them back into the red and tacking literally 40 Trillion in unfunded liabilities off the Treasury's back, strenthing Gov't Bonds and the Dollar; and cutting out corruption and fraud in both discretionary and entitlement spending.

Defending our borders
I would immediately sign executive orders dealing with Immigration to get that under control. Simple things like sealing up tunnells on the border with Concrete. I would expand both the real fence and the rest of the way put in place a "virtual fence" of censors, un-manned drones, with fast response helicopters carrying border patrol within 10 minutes of any possible incursion point. I would Qunintople the border patrol to achieve this. I would also screen every container comming into America. No one will sneak a nuke into NYC under my watch, and work to secure our Airports. If a cockroach comes into the US I want federal authorities to know where, when, why, and its name/rank/ serial #.

Illegal Immigration
I would increase the number of officers responsible for interior enforcement from about 1500 to 500,000. I would implemet and biometric ID card for migrant workers and resident Aliens ONLY. If you apply for a job you better have a legitmate US birth certificate, and social security card  or the ID card and papers. I would require all employers to use E-Verify on all new employees to make sure they are who they say they are. If an employer hires someone with those two or doesn't follow procedure after someone is kicked back from E-Verify can be fined up to $250,000 and be put in jail for up to 5 years on offense number two plus another fine. If someone is caught committing ID theft, they will be forced to spend either 30 years in jail or pay full restitution to the agreived party up to $1 million dollars. They shall also be responsible for any crimes, debts, purchases, and or other things acrude under the victims names.
Any state or city that is a Sanctuary for Illegals, won't get any anti-terrorism funding(after all Mike Bloomberg said it should be distributed based on risk like an insurance company, however NYC would be too high risk cause it is a Sanctuary city. All states that gives in-state tuition breaks to Illegals will get not Education money, and any state that issues them licenses gets no Highway money.

Legal Immigration
As for Legal Immigration the standards will be increased, essentially the same ones at Ellis Island, read English, not be sick with contagious illnesses, etc. Overall the number of legal immigrants will be capped at 100,000 per year. With priority given to refugees, and those either highly educated already or seeking higher education in the US. Chain migration will be reduced to immediate family members only. Lastly English will be made the National Language and encouraged throughout the states as the Univeral language of communication. The first step in acceptting each other is being able to understand each other. I will not let America turn into Canada, Belgium, or Yugoslavia.

Drugs
Marijuana will be re-criminalised. Dealers of Any illicit drug will be subject to the Death Penalty, or better yet being shot on site by firing squad.
Any user will be put into real rehab(not those spas that Paris Hilton goes too for a few weeks and is call rehab). If that doesn't work futher medical attention may be required, by the 3 or 4 time they start to risk Jail.

Tobacco will be made illegal but slowly. Money will be spent to help people addicted break the addiction, farmers will be given subsidies to switch to a different crop, and the Cigarrette factories retooled to produce Medical supplies or Atlernative energy.

Alcohol sales will be restricted by oz. on a daily basis. Money will be there to help the Alcoholics break there addiction.

Social Issues
Abortion will be restricted to the first three months no exceptions except for the health of the mother. If you are raped or are a victim of incest you would most likely get the Abortion soon after they learn of the Pregnancy. All others not raped or a victim of incest will be strongly discouraged from having an Abortion but not prevented from doing so in those three months.

Racial Issues
Move towards a color blind society, treat everybody the same, base preferential treatment on poverty not race. 


Then I will call up congress and ask them to close whatever loop-hole put me in power. I will stay in power long enough to ensure a Supreme Court of my liking. Then I will resign and ride off into the sunset. I will find a rural country house and spend the rest of my days there reflecting on my wonderful successes, missed opportunities, upsurdities, the good food, and the warm memories of a several decades long adventure in Washington D.C. America will get exactly the kind of leadership it needs, my kind.

Eewww dude, I can't tell if you are joking or not but that is crazy. Anyways why do you hate pot so much?

No thats not crazy, committing suicide by smoking pot or using any drug is. The dealers are the enablers and are no different then the greedy bastards at AIG and Lehmen and the Tobacco companies.

[Lief 🗽]

Committing suicide by smoking pot? Wha? Clearly someone has watched Reefer Madness one too many times.

[Mechaman]

Committing suicide by smoking pot? Wha? Clearly someone has watched Reefer Madness one too many times.

Yeah, pot is good.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Committing suicide by smoking pot? Wha? Clearly someone has watched Reefer Madness one too many times.

Lol

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

As President for Live I would nominate Jewish Conservative to the SCOTUS and he would write hillarious decisions (as I would not, as a dictator, care about SCOTUS )

While I'm decided to give Oklahoma back, if not, I'd name Mechman a Governor General and let his do whatever he just want

DWTL should be Solicitor General, just to piss him as he would have to argue before Hon. Justice JC

I would order every violent criminal to watch the Bold and the Beautiful all the time, then relase some to kill Ridge and Co.

I would rename all streets in Idaho to "Barack Obama avenue", to piss Idahoans

Then, accomplishing my might agenda, I would go to bed

[pogo stick]

Deport Mark Sanford to Argentina
Deport Eliot SPitzer ot a island full of back-stabbing spouses.