Are there alternative definitions to 'top' and 'bottom' which I am missing here?
Oh, my sweet, sweet innocent Karpatsky...
Washington: Top
Adams: bottom
Jefferson: top
Madison: verse top
Monroe: top
JQA: bottom like his father
Jackson: top
Van Buren: verse top
W. H. Harrison: unclear
Tyler: Top
Polk: top
Taylor: top
Fillmore: bottom
Pierce: bottom
Buchanan: literally a bottom
Lincoln: top
Johnson: top
Grant: top
Hayes: verse top
Garfield: top
Arthur: bottom
Cleveland: top
B. Harrison: bottom
McKinley: top
T. Roosevelt: top
Taft: bottom
Wilson: verse top
Harding: top (Jerry gets out of control quite easily)
Coolidge: definitely a bottom
Hoover: top
FDR: verse top
Truman: top
Eisenhower: bottom
Kennedy: too much of a top for his own good
LBJ: top
Nixon: bottom
Ford: verse top
Carter: bottom
Reagan: top
G.H.W. Bush: verse top
Clinton: verse top (only a bottom for Hillary)
G. W. Bush: bottom
Obama: top
Trump: bigger bottom than Coolidge
Bonus: Popular vote/electoral college split would be presidents:
Tilden: top
Gore: verse top
H. Clinton: TOP