Angry calm people

[136or142]

I used to be active on IRC (Internet Relay Chat) so I decided to take a look at the newer (10 years or so) web camera based chat rooms (Tiny Chat, for instance.)  I saw a person in one room who was clearly angry with another person (he was a moderator in the room who ended up temporarily banning the person he was arguing with) yet he never raised his voice or visibly lost his temper in any other way.

I have no idea how he did that.  Can anybody here do that?

[dead0man]

yes?

[Torie]

I have learned over the years to mask my irritation. It's a valuable discipline, and in some circumstances, essential, to being effective, or getting anything done. It is particularly important to me living in a small town, where you continually keep running into everybody.

[dead0man]

so it, like class and sore joints, is something you get with age?

[136or142]

I can't do it.  I don't know how it can be done because, for me anyway, the anger increases my testosterone and I can't not show it.  I actually had no idea it was possible to restrain anger (except for maybe a monk.)

[Torie]

so it, like class and sore joints, is something you get with age?

That is certainly true in my case, along with making a real effort to be kind to people. I honestly believe that a good nature, and doing good acts, is to a substantial extent a matter of habit, and sometimes habits take a long time to form. So age accommodates the long time frame.

[thumb21]

I've been disaproving or annoyed and calm at the same time, but angry and calm? Is that possible? I've always associated anger with being a more aggressive form of annoyance or disapproval.

[Mr. Smith]

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TranquilFury

Here you go, this is often where I go when I get really p*(sed off. That's when I'm f*)king done, I'm done with mere rage, I'm done with the situation that got me that mad, and I'm done with you (if you get me there). I hate your guts and I'm just out to get you when I'm like that.

I thought a forum of self-identified introverts would be the first to understand this kind of reaction, not question it.

#TheMoreYouKnow ~shrugs~

[Mr. Smith]

Here's a much better example.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3UFIkqx3Jg&feature=youtu.be

[Meclazine for Israel]

I have no idea how he did that.  Can anybody here do that?

It's called professionalism.

[Starry Eyed Jagaloon]

Of course. I pretty much always have self control. I may choose to display anger loudly, completely hide it, or calmly assert control over whatever angers me. Is this not the norm?

[Technocracy Timmy]

I used to be active on IRC (Internet Relay Chat) so I decided to take a look at the newer (10 years or so) web camera based chat rooms (Tiny Chat, for instance.)  I saw a person in one room who was clearly angry with another person (he was a moderator in the room who ended up temporarily banning the person he was arguing with) yet he never raised his voice or visibly lost his temper in any other way.

I have no idea how he did that.  Can anybody here do that?

Have you tried not throwing tantrums?

[fhtagn]

Working as a manager in retail makes someone an expert at that real quick. My coworkers joke all the time how they can tell when I am very close to wanting to throat punch someone, even when I sound and act extremely friendly to the person I'm speaking to.

[Ban my account ffs!]

Working as a manager in retail makes someone an expert at that real quick. My coworkers joke all the time how they can tell when I am very close to wanting to throat punch someone, even when I sound and act extremely friendly to the person I'm speaking to.

Kill 'em with kindness!  The retail way!

[Ban my account ffs!]

I used to be active on IRC (Internet Relay Chat) so I decided to take a look at the newer (10 years or so) web camera based chat rooms (Tiny Chat, for instance.)  I saw a person in one room who was clearly angry with another person (he was a moderator in the room who ended up temporarily banning the person he was arguing with) yet he never raised his voice or visibly lost his temper in any other way.

I have no idea how he did that.  Can anybody here do that?

Have you tried not throwing tantrums?

One time in 10th grade english class this one kid and I would talk about current happenings in our town and one topic was the jack pine budworm infestation that was resulting in logging of lots of jack pine... and also declining enrollment in elementary schools which was going to result in the closing of a school.

Anyway, when they had made the final decision to close the school we were talking about it and this girl whips her head around and yells at me
"GOOOODDDDDD.. ALL YOU EVER TALK ABOUT IS CUTTING DOWN TREES AND CLOSING DOWN SCHOOLS!!!"
after a brief moment of shock I just busted out laughing.  Beware of girls named Natalie.

[Mr. Illini]

People know me as this at work. It's just not my instinct to raise my voice in a work setting, yet people are still able to tell that I am angry based on what I am saying.

I think I am lucky to have this characteristic, though I didn't do anything to earn it. It has gotten me through some very contentious work meetings.

[°Leprechaun]

Triangulation and passive/aggressive behavior seem to be the norm these days as a way of venting anger. People in general don't know how to deal with another person's anger.
Advice rarely works, when someone is angry others often take it personally -the angry person doesn't feel heard, that's often why he or she is angry.

A lot of people vent on the internet - or worse, bottle it up and it comes out in the way that they drive. I have noticed a lot of road rage.

We need to listen more and judge less.

[°Leprechaun]

I have found that things like meditation and mindfulness help me. These are the best things.
Meditation music helps as well.

As Truman said "If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen".

"What about Bob" is a good example of our dysfunctional society.
My favorite line from that movie is "Take a vacation from your problems"
"Groundhog Day" is another one. Suffering is normal, but it doesn't last forever, although it often seems like it will.

[ChelseaT]

Sometimes, depends on how mad I am.