J.K. Rowling revealed
via Twitter on Monday that the inspiration for the character of Moaning Myrtle was none other than United States Senator Elizabeth Warren, True Leftist progressive hero of the people. Myrtle was of course a member of the Ravenclaw house for the brightest world leaders in the renowned Harry Potter book series and was aspiring to serve as Minister of Magic before her untimely demise.
Previously, the details of Warren’s death in the story were unknown, but it is now clear that Rowling had detailed knowledge of a real and carefully thought out plan to kill off the head of the American Left so that pro-Wall Street Hillary Clinton could become a presentable second female option. In the strikingly accurate portrayal of characters, Voldemort (James Carville) commands the crusty slimy reptilian basilisk (Hillary Clinton) to kill the whining girl who never gets her way (Warren) by simply gazing into her eyes – a fatal act though tame by Clinton’s standards. Since coming into the public scene, her killings had to be more discreet.
Rowling is expected to remain in hiding since no scandal can take down Ms. Clinton, making this revelation a highly questionable decision. Her newfound support for the True Left may appear to be a publicity tactic for failing to show adequate support for the brave independence fight of ultra-far left Scotland; however, this book was written many years before that happened and in fact, many years before anybody even knew who Elizabeth Warren was. But as we already knew, Ms Clinton's hit list has few boundaries. Rowling is clearly a committed warrior in the True Left's ranks.
As this article was sent to print, Warren publicly reaffirmed that she had no desire to challenge Clinton and assured her supporters that the pair was in agreement regarding 99% of issues, but Clinton’s requests to Facetime were politely declined by the Senator.
BUT WHICH ONE IS HILLARY?!! AHHH, DON’T LOOK AT EITHER
