Who should I vote for in the French presidential election?

[Hash]

I'm voting in the French election on April 21, and I've narrowed my choices to these three candidates - who are way leftier than I actually am, but all this doesn't matter because this election is a big joke anyways with 10 joke candidates.

I'm not voting for any of Sarko, Hollande, PanzerGirl or Bayrou in the first round for obvious reasons. The three I've narrowed myself down to are:

Melenchon: he might be the most 'useful' vote, as he could win upwards of 13-15%. I disagree with him on practically everything, but he does have the guts to say things which must be said and he's pretty honest in general. He also carries that Marchais style which is great. And he cusses at journalists, which is amusing and what they deserve. He's a joke and an opportunistic twerp, but all candidates are. I'm just a bit cold about voting towards him because of his past statements on regional languages such as Breton which have left me out in the dark about him.

Joly: has proven to be an epic trainwreck of a candidate, which is unfortunate because she's the most honest of all candidates. A bit of a leftie hardgreenie for my tastes, but she's closest to my views on federalism, regional languages, environment and so forth. But it's a useless vote, because she'll win 1-3%.

Arthaud: far-left Trot candidate who isn't amusing at all, but who has run a fairly decent campaign and she's an honest, intelligent person (though one with crazy ideas). Since I need to cast a protest vote anyway, because French politics is broken to the core, I've started considering her.

I can't stomach not voting, though, and frankly, scribbling "COLLOR" on the ballot isn't an option - unlike in student elections (though these elections are about as serious as student elections, with a slightly superior crop of idiots running).

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Write-in:  DSK

[Insula Dei]

Melenchon, I'd say.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Go for Joly. She is intelligent, honest, good-willing, and has decent policies (even though you might find her a bit too lefty - but compared to the others...). She would be my second choice after Hollande.

Arthaud is demented and I loathe her with a passion. I've always thought the same of Laguiller. It's a shame such a bunch of retards like LO can still exist in a modern country, and they give a bad name to the entire radical left with their utter idiocy. I think I'd vote for Cheminade over her. If you really want to go for a far-leftie, go for Poutou.

[Redalgo]

Joly sounds like your best pick. If I were French I'd still be weighing Mélenchon and Poutou but,
for whatever it is worth, there appears to be a significant gap in our economic views. Folks have
all sorts of ways for choosing. Personally, I reckon we're all usually best off voting on the issues.

[Tender Branson]

Vote for Jokely. Neither Melenchon nor she has a chance to win but a strong Melenchon would probably enable a 1st round Sarkozy win because he'd take votes away from Hollande. So, would you risk that Sarkozy wins the 1st round by voting Melenchon and Sarkozy gets a poll bump because of his 1st round win ?

[politicus]

Joly if you are serious about regionalism. She is also not nuts on socio-economic issues like the others. Doesn't matter if she only gets 2% IMO, it still counts as a protest vote.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

If you want to send a 'message', Melenchon. If you want to vote for a candidate that you agree with more often that not, Joly.

[Niemeyerite]

Melenchon, if only because you dislike PanzerGirl and want her to finish 4th

And Hollande in the 2nd round, of course.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Due to Melenchon recently adopted anti-EU stance, he's disqualified in my eyes.