Opinion of this paragraph

[Platypus]

From a short story, "Love and Honour and Pity and Pride and Compassion and Sacrifice":

"We turned back to Burlington Street and walked down the hill to the river. He stopped halfway across the bridge. The water looked cold and black, slowing in sections as it succumbed to the temperature. Behind us, six lanes of cars skidded back and forth across the wet grit of the road, the sound like the shredding of wind."

Well written or wanky?

[Smid]

Personally, I like it. I like the plethora of adjectives and adverbs used.

[paul718]

From a short story, "Love and Honour and Pity and Pride and Compassion and Sacrifice":

"We turned back to Burlington Street and walked down the hill to the river. He stopped halfway across the bridge. The water looked cold and black, slowing in sections as it succumbed to the temperature. Behind us, six lanes of cars skidded back and forth across the wet grit of the road, the sound like the shredding of wind."

Well written or wanky?

"We turned back to Burlington Street and walked down the hill to toward the river. He stopped halfway across the bridge. The water looked cold and black, and was beginning to freeze slowing in sections as it succumbed to the temperature. Behind us, six Six lanes of cars skidded back and forth across the wet grit of the road behind us. , the sound It sounded like the shredding of wind."

[tik 🪀✨]

From a short story, "Love and Honour and Pity and Pride and Compassion and Sacrifice":

"We turned back to Burlington Street and walked down the hill to the river. He stopped halfway across the bridge. The water looked cold and black, slowing in sections as it succumbed to the temperature. Behind us, six lanes of cars skidded back and forth across the wet grit of the road, the sound like the shredding of wind."

Well written or wanky?

"We turned back to Burlington Street and walked down the hill to toward the river. He stopped halfway across the bridge. The water looked cold and black, and was beginning to freeze slowing in sections as it succumbed to the temperature. Behind us, six Six lanes of cars skidded back and forth across the wet grit of the road behind us. , the sound It sounded like the shredding of wind."

No.

We turned back to Burlington Street and walked down the hill to toward the river. He (who?) stopped halfway across the bridge and looked at the water. The water looked It appeared cold and black, slowing in sections as it succumbed to the temperature. Behind us, six lanes of cars skidded back and forth across the wet grit of the road., the sound It sounded like the shredding of wind.

[Platypus]

It's an excerpt from the story I had to analyse for an English course. The he is the father of the writer.

[Gustaf]

It's decent. Like a lot of texts in modern or semi-modern literature.

[King]

Only four sentences.  It fails junior high.