I COME FROM THE FUTURE: DC in 2024 (lore)

[THG]

Hello, this is THG from November of 2024. It appears that the “overtly online young suburban elitist Republican intern/insider who didn’t really like Trump that much but stans DeSantis for no apparent reason” demographic (including yours truly, though I’m not in Virginia right now) would massively turnout for the second most iconic Republican presidential candidate named Ronald, but would this turnout be enough to make a massive difference in the percentage?



Wow. Just wow. DeSantis has really lived up to the hype, turning out all the RINO never Trump neocons who voted R downballot but left the presidential ballot blank. This was further bolstered by the RINO DeSantis lover THG campaigning in DC and NOVA to ensure the magical suburban revision.

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE.....

[You don't see any blue avatars now]

Convicted rapist on the Dem ticket.

[THG]

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE.....

It appears that the DeSantis campaign hasn’t given THG credit for the RINO NOVA suburban revision. Speaking to Sean Hannity on Fox, President-Elect DeSanris said “well frankly we worked hard and Tar Heel should 🛑 playing ! and taking all the credit”.

Wow. I’ve never felt so betrayed. To think I poured all this sweat and toil for Ron DeTakingAllTheCredit to betray me? I literally united the Atlas R-IL caucus, the DeSimp caucus, the sneed caucus, the laser eye neocon pfp on Twitter, for him to betray me? NEVER!



“ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED, RONALD?” - THG, circa December 2024.

For once a team player, for another, a lone warrior.....


TO BE CONTINUED....

[Xing]

Uh... are you okay?

[Starry Eyed Jagaloon]

I think you're overrating the percentage of Washingtonians that are 23 year old Kevin McCarthy staffers.

Might I suggest leaving Navy Yard?

[THG]

A proud and noble Republican intern, THG would never 🛑 playing and allow now President Ron DeGroupProject to steal credit from him for le NOVA revision.

But a humiliated man needs redemption, and poor THG had some time before he redeemed himself. His recently married wife, stressed already, broke up with him after THG inaccurately predicted DeIvyElitist’s margin of victory in Fairfax County (THG predicted a 10-15 win for DeNOVA when he actually won by over 25, proving once again that THG is a Ron DeSantis hater and a Nikki Haley hater) causing him to lose millions of dollars in bets and the divorce to finalize.

Humiliated for his inaccurate election predictions and the unmistaken allegation of being a DeSantis hater, THG flees polite society and heads towards the woods.


TO BE CONTINUED.

[S019]

Uh... are you okay?

He clearly isn’t

[THG]

In all seriousness I was considering making this a full on lore thread but doing so would require me literally frying my brains. I can only handle so much stupidity and sh**tposting.

[Ferguson97]

This belongs on the What If forum, not the 2024 forum.

[Continential]

You should get help

[KaiserDave]

Please get off the internet

[Real Texan Politics]

Convicted rapist on the Dem ticket.

This thread will probably end up getting locked soon but I honestly think that wouldn't even cause a thirty point swing to the R's in DC.

[THG]

Convicted rapist on the Dem ticket.

This thread will probably end up getting locked soon but I honestly think that wouldn't even cause a thirty point swing to the R's in DC.

In all seriousness? I completely agree.

[beesley]

I regret calling you an FF now.

[Schiff for Senate]

It’s amusing how people seem to believe that I’m either 15 or 55.

I think I’ve implied my real age more times than not to have a satisfactory estimate. I have noted the amount of times about the period that I was attending high school.

I genuinely don't think people have been paying attention to you specifically (and I promise I'm not trying to be mean or condescending).  

Takes a while to build up a status where people know you by name around here.  

I meant to infer that it’s funny how everyone here either thinks I’m either an undercover middle aged National Review editor, or a teenager.....

That’s the point.

Absolutely anyone who believed that stands corrected after reading this thread lol

This belongs on the What If forum, not the 2024 forum.

No, this belongs on no forum.

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

Great thread.

[MR DARK BRANDON]

Why did democrats nominate Roy Moore in this timeline?

[Boobs]

Those are awfully long posts to be typing one-handed. Kudos.

[Vice President Christian Man]

What would the electoral college look like?

[Builder Refused]

You see this is what happens to Republicans when they aren't racist, their humor gets so sohisticated that the funniest part is that they think it's funny. This is actually because the laughter is infrasound. Analogously ifns THG  made the slightest smile or frown,his breain would be psiked with nuerochemicals, like rainbows or like grey rainbows

[Person Man]

You're horny.