Question for Lapsed Catholics

[Frodo]

Assuming it is still possible, what would it take for you to return to the Church? 

[Simfan34]

I am thankfully not lapsed.

[afleitch]

Nothing.

[anvi]

I'd have to be convinced that God exists, first of all, which is not likely.  Secondly, the church would have to denounce all of its historical theologians except Peter Abelard. 

Seriously though, if I did become a Christian again, I would either return to Catholicism or convert to Orthodox Christianity. 

[Yelnoc]

Why do you call yourself a "lapsed Catholic" rather than an agnostic or whatever?

[anvi]

I don't consider myself a lapsed Catholic.  But, on the other hand, some German friends pointed out some years ago that I might still be "culturally Catholic" in some ways.  Insofar as I developed some appreciation for good rituals, and a distinct preference for religious doctrines that give a great deal of priority to good works, I suppose that description is apt.

[King]

Someone wanting to go.

[Joe Republic]

Money.

[minionofmidas]

Technically not even a lapsed Catholic, just the child of the union of two such. Hmmm... probably nothing exists that could make that happen. Maybe if it were set as a condition by the as yet unfound love of my life.
Then again... is there anything that might make me cease to identify (not primarily, of course) as culturally Catholic? Make me not take its side in some unlikely hypothetical Catholic-Protestant dogfight? Nah, probably nothing exists that could make that happen either.