The Speaker is the leader of the entire House and controls the Capitol building as well. Certain committee chairmanships and seats are how the Speaker exerts that leadership. If a member doesn't back that leader, they can't expect to hold a post that the leader needs to exercise control.
I completely agree. If John Boehner is to be respected as Speaker (and a leader), he must exercise control as he, and indeed far more than he has. He should be exerting his authority to all those who voted against him in his own party. In our current system, it is the functional equivalent to a vote of confidence.
To those that mention Pelosi, she did not have a single defection during either of her elections as Speaker. Even Gene Taylor voted for her in both 2007 and 2009. She had absolutely no defections when Democrats controlled the House. Nancy Pelosi was one of the powerful Speakers we've ever had and she had solid control over her majority.