RISK Mission I: Finished!

[Gabu]

Now... missions and players choosing their initial states ... that might have sped up the game a wee bit.

"oh, my mission is to conquer vermont, I will choose vermont, yay i win"

[Gabu]

All in GA, attack FL-AL do-or-die.  Await further orders.

[Gabu]

(I'm going to assume that you want me to move all battalions from GA to FL if you conquer it.  If I'm wrong, please correct me. )

I thought that's what do-or-die meant.  Anyway, yes, that's what I meant.

How many of that conquering army would you like to leave in Alabama? (Min. 3, Max. 14)

14.

And now I suppose comes the inevitable: attack AL-MS until I have, say, 7 battalions left.  Move all battalions (but the one required to leave behind) from AL to MS if I happen to conquer it.

[Gabu]

Okay, let's just go for it; attack AL-MS do-or-die.

[Gabu]

Blerpiez, you're such a jerk.

Attack TN-MS do or die.

[Gabu]

Move 2 battallions from MS to TN and end my turn.

[Gabu]

JOE I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WOULD GIVE ME ALL SIXES

oh wait was i supposed to say that here?

[Gabu]

All on GA.  Attack GA-SC-NC, do-or-die.

[Gabu]

No, just end my turn.

[Gabu]

FYI: I'll be away this weekend from tomorrow (Sat) until Monday.

That is

UNACCEPTABLE

and I demand your resignation effective immediately.

[Gabu]

Milk & Cereal rolls 3 dice: 3 3 3

I call shenanigans.  MaC is clearly using his status as the Half-Beast to manipulate these die rolls.

[Gabu]

All in SC.

Attack SC-NC.

[Gabu]

IT'S ABOUT F#%*ING TIME

ahem

I'll end it there for now.  No tactical moves.

[Gabu]

Wow, that's brutal.

[Gabu]

Wow, that's brutal.

In my experience, every game of Risk always has at least one person expend a sizeable force and yet still fail to conquer a territory with only 1 battalion in it.  Unfortunately for Blerpiez, he was that guy in this game.

I remember this one time - I think it was last game - where a guy invaded Alabama with like 9 guys and failed to conquer it.  And then it happened again.

[Gabu]

All on TN.  Attack TN-MO-KS-NE, do or die.

[Gabu]

Suppose it was too much to ask for my terrible luck to change now.

Eh, attack NC-VA and end turn.

[Gabu]

Attacks (cont.)

North Carolina invades Virginia (Milk & Cereal), with 2 battalions attacking, and 2 battalions defending.

Gabu rolls 2 dice: 5 2
Milk & Cereal rolls 2 dice: 3 2
Both armies lose 1 battalion each

Gabu rolls 1 die: 1
Milk & Cereal rolls 1 die: 6
Gabu loses 1 battalion

Gabu's invading army has been defeated, and Milk & Cereal now has 1 battalion remaining in Virginia.

OH COME ON

...end turn...

[Gabu]

GaBu is teh sux0r

I'm calling shenanigans on you, because you are clearly biased against me and that is unfair.

My lawyer will be speaking to you promptly.

[Gabu]

Gabu's lawyer: "Good evening Mr Delaney.  My client has asked me to inform you that he is suing you based on evidence that you referred to him as "teh sux0r", which he found deeply offensive and has caused him serious emotional harm."
Me: "I see.  And how much is he suing me for?"
Gabu's lawyer: "$100,000"
Me: "Hmm.  Well I'll tell you what.  Here's $200,000, and you can give it to your teh sux0r client with my compliments."
Gabu's lawyer: "Well fine, if... wait, this is Monopoly money."
Me: "..."
Gabu's lawyer: "Are you going to settle or not?"
Me: "no speek engalesh."
Gabu's lawyer: "..."

I have spoken to the proper authorities.  You will be deported as soon as the police arrive.  You lose.  Good day sir.

[Gabu]

psst... that's all of the Pacific.

[Gabu]

psst... that's all of the Pacific.

I know, but I've taken to not announcing the capture or loss of an entire region in this particular game.  I initially thought it might be advertising the fact that a player might have just taken a step further in completing their mission, which might take away the 'secret' element.  I might have slipped up previously, but you should find that all of them have now been removed.

Oh, I see.

You tricky devil, you.

[Gabu]

First I'll turn in this set of cards:





Put all 17 reinforcements on TN and attack TN-MO-KS-NE, do-or-die.

[Gabu]

I'll hold my victory party in conjunction with Everett's.

Everyone will be required to pay for their own food and drinks, though, in homage of how totally cheap that victory was.

Out of curiosity, what were the other missions?

[Gabu]

Rats!  In my next turn, I was planning to capture the Pacific Region.  Had that happened, I would have been victorious!

I thought for sure someone was going to kill off the Red Army after my second-to-last turn, given how few people he had left, which would have basically ended my chance at winning.  I was shocked to find him still sitting there untouched as my next turn came around.