Bushie: The Final Frontier - Update Season V

[patrick1]

Maybe this will be the season where you stop being a redshirt at work.....

[patrick1]

I haven't learned how to steam fresh veggies, yet, so I take what I know how to do for the time being until I learn how to do more.

In the time it took you to type that sentence you could have gotten hundreds of recipes and videos on how to prepare a whole host of vegetables. Stop always talking about how you can't do things and find out how to do them instead.

[patrick1]

And shooting yourself in the foot is better than shooting yourself in the head... it doesn't mean it's a good idea.  How many of these things are you drinking a day?

What, the Coke or the V8?

I can't really say on the V8, because I have only had two glasses ever, both of them this evening.

The Cokes?  WAAYYY too many!!

And, indeed, the label of my product does say V8 V-Fusion Light.

I would and will drink more water, but I need some kind of flavor.  I guess I could buy some of those Crystal Light lemonade packets that I believe are only 5 calories.

Try some flavored seltzer if you like the carbonation like I do.  It's better for you (less chemicals)  in long run than the diet sodas. Just check the label on the back. Less ingredients the better. i.e Water, lemon flavoring (should have no salt etc).

This really isnt very complicated though.  Just dont drink too many of your calories because you wont be full.  Juice is alright but many have a good amount of sugar- natural or otherwise. The diet soda has no calories but studies have shown that the artificial flavorings can trigger cravings and your liver has to breakdown the chemicals in it. Dont abuse it.  Ultimately it comes down to would you rather have 4 cans of coke or a nice 10oz steak. The cokes may provide a quick burst of sugar rush but if not used will sit around your stomach.

[patrick1]

This has to be a diagnosable illness at this point. Someone in the know get the DSM on the horn to add Jeff Brown disease.

I love when Bushie talks up "long term prospects" when he can't stay in the same place for more than 4 months.

[patrick1]

Alright,  this. I have to say it.  Jeff, when you get back to OK you should really look into seeking out some counseling or care.  Your decisions are just getting worse and you seem overwhelmed.
Some preacher isn't care either.  I do not say this to demean you in anyway. I reached a point a little over a year ago, where I realized I had fxcked up my life good and proper.  Drunk, fat, depressed sinking in debt with my best years seemingly in the rear view.  I either had to seek out some help to talk things through or just waste away.  Sometimes talking it through to a complete freaking stranger who is trained for this can put things in perspective and start helping you re-arranging things into their natural order. You have the pieces to be a success but you are just stuck in this irrational and self destructive pattern of behavior.

[patrick1]

Rational advice to people acting irrationally is just a whole lot of pissing in the wind.  It is exasperating and really a HUGE waste of time.

Inks, a Suze Orman routine...  Telling him to work two jobs when he is struggling to hold one.

Jeff, moving back to OK can either be turned into a great decision or will continue your unprecedented string of bad decisions.  

Sometimes you have to lose everything to find yourself. Divest yourself of the house which is an anchor, shed unnecessary things, regroup, get fit physically and emotionally, decompress and develop a reasonable plan to build yourself back up again.

Or you could move back home, jump at the first soul crushing job that you are ill suited for, eat crap and just get lower.  Stop digging yourself deeper in the hole. Take a step back and figure out how to climb out. Your ego make take a hit for a while but realize that you can make things better.

[patrick1]

Inks, a Suze Orman routine...  Telling him to work two jobs when he is struggling to hold one.

But he's not struggling to hold one because he can't work... he's struggling to hold one because he listens to the poor advice of his family and is impulsive and thinks things will always be better with the latest scheme.  That doesn't mean he's incapable of holding 2 jobs.

This can get me some infraction points but my general concern here is that Bushie is not in the best health. From the aggregate of everything he posted on here I would think he has some form of anxiety or mood disorder.  I think were he to get himself fit, he could succeed at one job and even two. Right now, not the one.  Life can overwhelm anyone and it can completely swamp those who do not look after themselves.

The lies, self delusional flights of fancy, and the bouts of depression are all very familiar and I don't think this is just me projecting.

[patrick1]

Inks, a Suze Orman routine...  Telling him to work two jobs when he is struggling to hold one.

But he's not struggling to hold one because he can't work... he's struggling to hold one because he listens to the poor advice of his family and is impulsive and thinks things will always be better with the latest scheme.  That doesn't mean he's incapable of holding 2 jobs.

This can get me some infraction points but my general concern here is that Bushie is not in the best health. From the aggregate of everything he posted on here I would think he has some form of anxiety or mood disorder.  I think were he to get himself fit, he could succeed at one job and even two. Right now, not the one.  Life can overwhelm anyone and it can completely swamp those who do not look after themselves.

The lies, self delusional flights of fancy, and the bouts of depression are all very familiar and I don't think this is just me projecting.

Fair enough--he may not be in a position to take on 2 jobs immediately, but eating healthier and less would save his money and improve his health.  He could drop the pounds a lot quicker than his is (if he even is - it's been a while since that's been updated).

That is treating the symptoms not the cause. Exercise and good diet certainly help holistically but it is just a piece of the equation, imho.

[patrick1]

Inks, a Suze Orman routine...  Telling him to work two jobs when he is struggling to hold one.

But he's not struggling to hold one because he can't work... he's struggling to hold one because he listens to the poor advice of his family and is impulsive and thinks things will always be better with the latest scheme.  That doesn't mean he's incapable of holding 2 jobs.

This can get me some infraction points but my general concern here is that Bushie is not in the best health. From the aggregate of everything he posted on here I would think he has some form of anxiety or mood disorder.  I think were he to get himself fit, he could succeed at one job and even two. Right now, not the one.  Life can overwhelm anyone and it can completely swamp those who do not look after themselves.

The lies, self delusional flights of fancy, and the bouts of depression are all very familiar and I don't think this is just me projecting.

Fair enough--he may not be in a position to take on 2 jobs immediately, but eating healthier and less would save his money and improve his health.  He could drop the pounds a lot quicker than his is (if he even is - it's been a while since that's been updated).

I will admit that there are times when I think I am mildly bi-polar.  I do tend to go from one mood extreme to the other in my personal life, often within a manner of minutes.  That may explain a lot of what has happened in the past and even now.  I'm too scared to go get tested for bi-polar as I know my ex-fiancee' Susan had to spend $3,000 a month for medicine if it weren't for her Medicaid.  I am also afraid that a bi-polar diagnosis would automatically condemn me to being a bachelor the rest of my life and dying alone.  Now, mind you, I am only bi-polar in private.  In public or even with just one other person in the room, I am very mellow and usually very kind and thoughtful.

The worst mood I have around others is just being a little cranky from time to time.

Jeff, listen, stop playing these infinite games of chess in your head. If x happens then y might happen and then z could occur.  It is exhausting.  I was such a drunk because I always did this to myself and getting blitzed was the only thing that settled me down. Maybe you find some comfort in food or the porn.  
Take it one piece at a time. These swings are not doing you any favors and maybe it would help just to see someone and explain what is troubling you. There are some subsidized programs that could help. And it is a trained stranger, just unload all the freaking baggage in the world on the poor bastard:) You may not need any medication at all, I don't. Millions of people struggle with these things and there is nothing wrong with it.  If you broke your leg you wouldnt gimp around town, would you? Check out the Indian health care if you have to.  Best of luck.

[patrick1]

Jeff, my suggestions from yesterday still stand.  I will add that DO NOT JUMP AT THE FIRST JOB OFFER.  We all realize how important being employed and having an income is but you have to make a decision that will work and make sense.  The job hunt could take a little while longer: weeks or months.  Wouldn't it be better to find something that you can stay in long term: (years) rather than grab some job that will last weeks or months?  
You identified last night that you can make these quick snap decisions and you then convince yourself that it will work out when all evidence points in the opposite direction.  Panic moves seldom work. Take some no stress part time job if you have to- just to have a little money coming in and get out of the house. You are only 30 and if you start playing your cards better a whole long life ahead of you. Forget about where you should be in your life and what you should have done. Start fresh, move forward, make new goals and start accomplishing them.

[patrick1]

Glad Warden Inks, who wants to impose a water and hard tack diet, has identified V8 as the culprit of so many problems.

[patrick1]

Christ, man. Everyone has to be allowed to enjoy life a little bit.

Not when the person is mooching off of a father who could soon be unemployed.

Maybe he should just live rough and hit the rails then. Boxcar Bushie has a nice sound to it. Very little overhead.


Listen sorry to be confrontational here but your Rx is just misguided. Sure he needs to cut down on his expenses but your dour directives are enough to make anyone want to stick their head directly into the oven.

[patrick1]

Seriously, drinking water, not eating out (both things which will also help with his health) and giving up on cable (which is a scam) is not extreme.

It is not extreme but it is framed in a way to be a ridiculous exercise in being penny wise and pound foolish. Paying mortgages and rents simultaneously, moving around the country, jetting off to Kenya...that is a whole lotta V8. And to repeat the theme this like is treating a gunshot victim for their diabetes and discharging them.

[patrick1]

Ugh, more flight of fancy. Driving in other directions so you can what... post that you have been in that CD on BRTD's thread?

Second, why don't you raffle off your trip to Kenya? You simply cannot afford it. Recoup some of your sunk costs, eliminate the need for spending money for the trip, pay back those who funded it and if anything is left over- give it to charity.

You really have to start re-adjusting and thinking about your actions. We all want certain things but have to be realistic about what we can achieve. I think it is great that you have a desire to help in Kenya. However, you have to build skills and build your character up so that you would not be a millstone around the proverbial neck of this orphanage venture. Right now this is more about soothing your ego and making you feel better about yourself.

Safe trip and stop making awful decisions.

[patrick1]

Ok, answer this question without lying then. Were they not going to extend your contract?

They were going to extend it, but there would have been no chance for a raise unless I got a promotion.  I know that for a fact because I asked my supervisor directly about 2 weeks ago.  So, I was spinning my wheels on my career.  That is another reason I decided to pull the plug on Utah and come home.  I was going nowhere.

Jesu Christi Domine, Jeff.  This is how the world works man.  You think people are going to give you more money just because you show up and have a pulse.  You should know by now that you have to earn that money.  If you don't like the pay, don't accept the job in the first place and actually do a proper job search and not the first place that will have you.

[patrick1]

You'll never get a raise if you can't hold a job for 6 months. Why can't you understand that your resume is a mess? And with every new job, it gets worse.

Exactly...

This is what I've tried to tell you... You are acting very foolish by expecting a promotion almost immediately after starting at a company, particularly when that company has good reason to believe you'll be gone in a few months- which they gather by looking at your resume! Why would a company promote some one and invest in that person if their history shows them to lack loyalty to any prior place of employment?

He is probably better off just flat out lying on the resume at this point and hoping HR doesnt do any legwork.

[patrick1]

Anyway, lets change the subject.  Enough of the attacks.  I will be fine.  I've been fine for many years.  My life is not screwed up like has been previously mentioned.  I am a little impulsive on the decision making, but it doesn't mean I have bad judgement, nor do my parents.  God has seen me through many mistakes in the past and I have no doubt He will see me through this one, which I still don't think its a mistake.  Its not the choice I would have made on my own.  If it were all up to me, which it shouild be, but is not then I would be heading to work in about 6 hours and would have extended my apartment lease another six months.  Anyway, I've got a busy weekend ahead, but I do plan on getting started looking on Sunday.  I've got several places to call tomorrow and we're going to Shawnee as a family for lunch at Cracker Barrel and a trip to Walmart.  Saturday is a lot of rearranging and getting my room ready to go.  I will be looking online as well the next two evenings.  I do plan on looking really heavy next week.

Let's be clear.  I did not want to come back to Oklahoma and I was prepared to suspend the job search for the next 12-18 months and continue on with the status quo.  I enjoyed my job in Utah and I worked for the best boss anybody could ever ask for.  Since my parents are helping me out, I could not turn my Dad down.  Mom thinks I should have given it another 6-9 months, at minimum, but Dad overpowered both of us.  Oh well, what's done is done and two wrongs don't make a right, so I am going to find a job as fast as I can, and try to be into an apartment of my own by Christmas if not the Autumn.

Such an unfortunate attitude.  I suppose you are not ready to make any changes and admit error.

I actually have no ill words for your parents or their advice.  You are a grown man and have to take responsibility for your own actions.  As I see it, they love you and have been trying their hardest to help you out. YOU are putting them in a bad situation and making it awkward on them.  YOU have to be the one to own up, man up and make some changes.  If you can't hack it on a job and are experiencing some problems coping, then you have to seek some help to build a better foundation.
Pretending everything is just hunky dory may help you get through the day but it will continue leading you down the path of retarded growth and atrophy.

[patrick1]

Bushie probably eats a spicy burrito or has a panic attack and it must be a heart attack.  Bushie, speaks to a couple of Africa kids, sends a few bucks and thinks he is now their father. Bushie is all gung ho about his new job- any obstacle occurs- he finds a reason to quit.  No big deal after all.

These arent normal, healthy patterns of behavior.

[patrick1]

Don't guess. Keep a guide. Write it down and look up the calorie counts on line. Keep it honest and accurate.

I don't know if you have an iPhone or iPod touch but they have good apps for this.

He has been told all this.  He just doesn't want to put in the work.  Wet grass, the fear that a simple walk in the park will mistake him a pedo- all excuses from the mundane to the weird.

[patrick1]

How far is your house from your parent's?

[patrick1]

As to Memphis' comment, nobody really knows what is holding Bushie back. But with resolve, and discipline, he can do more than one thing at once.

Yeah, why doesn't Bushie just have the resolve and discipline to hire a personal trainer! That lazy good for nothing.

The fact is that people like Bushie (poors perpetually stuck in grinding poverty) don't have the resources to magically lose a few hundred pounds. It's easy when you're semi-retired and have more money than you know what to do with, but for someone who is unemployed, living in the boondocks of Oklahoma, has developed a palate for greasy, fatty, sugary foods due to being fed them his entire life, has essentially no conception of what nutrition or exercise are, has essentially no understanding of how basic calorie intake and calorie burning work, is probably at least somewhat depressed by his entire life situation, has clearly been coddled/babied by his parents his whole life, etc. it's much more difficult than just "developing resolve and discipline" or whatever.

I don't mean for this to be an attack on you Torie, but I think Bushie's problems are much deeper than a lack of willpower and are much harder to overcome than most of us, who have not grown up in poverty, can imagine.

Bushie doesnt need people to make excuses for him. He makes plenty on his own. Sometimes you just  have to make the real difficult step to examine yourself truthfully. Jeff, hasnt really come to terms with this yet. He switches between extremes of self made destructive situations (the call center merry go round) and the delusional flights of fancy.  He needs an honest self assessment and likely a professional to sound these things out with; unencumbered from the baggage of familial expectations, pressure and coddling.

You can't turn things around overnight and frankly it is a good thing you can't. Working hard and achieving goals is part of the growth process and fundamental life skills. Some, like myself, have had problems with sticktoitiveness. It can have genesis in a bad combo of poor nature, nurture and general fear. Life is going to knock you on your a$$ every once in a while but you have to buck up and answer the bell or simply say no mas.

[patrick1]

What is your waist size, Bushie?

In Jeans size, I wear 40, but they are just a tad big, but 38's a just a tad small.  I'd say probably 39.

Bulls***.  I am about the same height as you (perhaps slightly taller), you outweigh me by more than 100lbs, and I wear a 31 or 32.  No way or you even in the zipcode of a 39 or 40.

Indeed, I am Size 40.  Thing is my weight is all in my belly.  My waist is only slightly larger than normal.  I can take a picture of my jean size and post it on here if that would make a difference.

Couple things, I immediately thought b.s. too.  I'm sure you have a very forgiving pair of jeans. Throw you in some suit pants and you probably shoot right up. "Loose" fit American clothes really take liberties on sizes.  Also I'm sure you wear your pants very low, having your gut hang over and making your legs look like a midget.

IIRC, you tended to look like you had very little muscle tone so your height/weight/waist dimensions do not make sense.

[patrick1]

How many jobs did you apply for today?

Dude, he cut his finger! Obviously he cannot apply for any jobs today.

Bushie's apple laughed at this joke.

[patrick1]

When I get home from church this afternoon, I will be getting into the Sunday paper and map out my strategy this week.  I am going to search for three weeks, because that's the earliest date that the plane tickets will be purchased for Kenya in June.  If I have not started a job or if I have not received a guaranteed offer by 6:00 pm on Friday, April 5, 2013, I will suspend the job search until I get back from Africa and resume my job search on Monday, July 1, 2013.  I am not about to throw away a $2,000 plane ticket and I'm not about to waste the money of that generous donor.  I will look as hard as I can for the next three weeks, but starting on Monday, April 8, 2013 it is all about Kenya for the entire second quarter of 2013 until Monday, July 1, 2013

Jeff, you are running cover for your own excuses here. You are passive aggressively, half a$sing the job search. You know that you could get yourself out of this. As I mentioned you could try to auction this up or something.  You could pay your benefactor off that way and maybe even raise some money for the charity. And the plane tickets aren't in your bleeding name.  Come on man. You know you are in no position to be charitable here. This is a vanity project that someone is footing the bill for.

[patrick1]

Let's not waste our time anymore, friends.

[/thread]

Yeah. This is all a rather pointless exercise. Nothing we say has ever and never will do anything. When he stops lying to himself, then he can move forward. At that time there will be no need for an update.