what is the funniest post ever?

[Jake]

The last time I asked a 12 year old out I was 13. 

How many times did she have to turn you down before she asked for the restraining order?

[Jake]

Ok sh**thead, are YOU going to pay for someone's forced birth?  Are YOU going to pay for someone's diapers?  You know it eventually comes out of our tax dollars, not your pocket.  All a lot of you Repugs want to do is manipulate other people's lives for what self gratification?  Moral superiority?  What .... tell me?  Oh, the Catholic church says...."absmc wgbwrbn vw0hrgf9" therefore I should follow it.  I tend to think some of you righties use that as a crutch for your own moral lackings.  Come on think a little.  The are times I feel sympathetic and respect some of you so-called "pro-lifers" hell I even campaigned for one, but you Jake, are outright despicable.

I'm pro-choice because I have a dick.  Hey, I knock someone up, I want her to have the option to abort.  Don't want to pay child support.  At least I'm goodly enough to think women should have that right.

EMILY's List are freedom fighters!  They support a woman's right to CHOOSE!  Believe me they counteract the facist American Life League and Operation Rescue.  They have as much legitmacy as them.

Some more

[Jake]

I don't know why, but this had me laughing pretty hard

If this is the only crisis in the region we're pretty lucky. How's crime going?

I stole King's wallet yesterday.  Crime is going well.

[Jake]

You wouldn't hit this?

Her, not "'this."

[Jake]

Another thing is there aren't many white communist rebels.

See, there's another reason to like white people.

[Jake]

Levee repairs were faked in a Bush photo op. Words fail me that the President would interfere with the actual relief effort to get himself a photo op.

http://landrieu.senate.gov/~landrieu/releases/05/2005903E12.html

intelligent words fail you regularly.  you have a pretty louisiana avatar?  you ever been to louisiana?  have you ever waited inside for a hurricane to pass over?  you ever set down with a bunch of poor illiterate folks who smell and look so differently than you that you aren't quite sure what to say to them?  do you ever know what the f uck you are talking about?   

"this government is not my government" you say.  when you grow a pair of balls as big as the people who laid down their lives in insurrection to give you a country, you can say that with dignity.

Bush has a pile of sh**t heaped on him during his presidency.  even his predecessor, whom I respect and who probably took office while you were still in diapers, will tell you that.  it isn't words that fail you, it's the capacity to use them intelligently.   First, there was nothing "fake" about his photo opportunity.  Thousands of US citizens (he is the head of state, in case you've forgotten) have perished of a natural disaster.  Secondly, Mr. Nagen, the mayor of New Orleans, was very clear that after his meeting with the President, he was assured that the president had a greater understanding of the current needs of the people of New Orleans.  Third, Ms. Landrieu is hanging on, politically, by a thread, and will attempt to use, as you do, this natural disaster, in a politically expedient way to further her own career.  If it happens to be the case that she can affix the blame of 18th century engineering on her political opponents in order to make her look good by comparison, she will.  This is what politicians do.

I don't exactly understand the source of your bitterness, but you seriously need help, you sick bastard.  I needn't remind you that YOU were among those who bitched and whined about money constantly being transferred from the "blue" states to the "red" states.  (the majority of these whiners were democrats.  very odd, since the democrats are the ones who claim to be "liberals")  And now, you are bitching because money isn't being transferred from the "blue" to the "red" states fast enough. 

people are dying of disease and starvation, IN YOUR OWN COUNTRY, and a perusal of this forum tells me your immediate reaction is to assess how well you can use it to for your own party's gain.  you'll make a good lawyer one day.  that is, if your apparently delicous foot and your inability to discriminate between legitimate news sources and propaganda doesn't keep you out of law school.

By far the funniest post ever made on this forum. I salute angus

[Jake]

Well he is.

shut up you sand n!  go blow up some buildings or something

call me a prude or old fashioned, but i personally dont care much for the n-word.

why is it allowed to be used here?

I think "sand n" is a derogatory term for a South Jersey hillbilly or some weird reason like that.

It's a derogatory term for a person of Arab descent, which NixonNow apparently is.

can also be persian and hamito-semitic north africans.  Not afghani or paki, though.  The more all-encompassing term "rag head" works for sand ns, pakis, afghanis, and kurds.  FYI.

[Jake]

Yes and would have sex with one or possibly two (openly bisexual candidates) at the same time as well.

I guess Flyers wants Richius

[Jake]

Your post was made in the thread that asked Would you vote for an openly bisexual candidate". You replied, "Yes and I'd have sex with one or possibly two at the same time". Your post clearly indicated that you'd have sex with one or two openly bisexual candidates if possible.

[Jake]

From the Saddam's daughter thread

Sure, why not.  maybe I'd try to talk her into giving me a nice trach-job with that thing if I was feeling kinky.

[Jake]

I also bought my sister and her friends beer and was drinking with them.  It was on Halloween night about 3 or 4 years ago. 

That's too cool. After striking out with her friends, did you ask your sister to hook up?

Ouch

[Jake]

Step one would be to section off a barrier island in say New Jersey or the Outer Banks and have fully legalized nudity and public sex.

Not for you Flyers

[Jake]

Once again, if you have any aspirations of a political career, do not say anything. You have the worst case of foot in mouth disease I've ever seen.

[Jake]

We've had a lot of rain in the Delaware Valley but I never care about inches unless we are talking about snow. 

...but does your girlfriend?

[Jake]

This one wins hands down.

I'm sure you can strike up a philosophical discussion on the merits of "sin" with the Prince of Darkness while you are brutally sodomized by razor-penised Thai boys for all eternity.

[Jake]

And how long does this gas last?  We can't have random people wandering the fields all of the sudden getting a tremendous urge to have sex with a male.

[Jake]

BRTD
Social Democratic Party
Minnesota

Ok Josh22.

Ok I am lost?

Ironic as hell

[Jake]

On the topic of Alito's daughter

I'd legislate her from the bench, if you catch my drift.

[Jake]

This entire converstation

jfern

Wow.  I think all of us should feel some personal responsibilty for letting somebody slip away into the fellowship of jFRAUD.

That name invented by a fool who thinks 940 heads and 60 tails aren't statistically significant is getting pretty old.

You're getting old.

Older but not old.. But anyways, unlike some people, I believe in facts. That explains my arguments with J.J.

No, this is what explains your arguments with J.J.:

Are you a fool who thinks that 940 heads and 60 tails aren't statistically significant?

[Jake]

This ones an absolute gem:

I couldn't care any less.

You'll care on judgement day.

I think this is the dumbest, most intolerant thing anyne is going to say today.

There is no such thing as 'sin', prude.

Actually this claim of the existence of 'sin' is precisely the one that should mark one as a lion's dinner.

No, I was wrong.  That first thing isn't the most intolerant thing I'll hear today.

There's no such thing as "sin".  The whole notion is ridiculous.  If God didn't want us to commit certain acts, then he wouldn't give us the ability to do them, and at times, actually tempt us to do them. 

If sin does exist, then God is an asshole and I don't want anything to do with it.  And I don't care what happens on Judgement Day (chuckles)

Or the dumbest.

[Jake]

From the "You're going to hell" category:

Couldn't help noticing this little gem too:

You may not allow two different kinds of animal to mate together.

Yeah, sure, I'll get right on that.  No it's fine, I haven't got anything better to do than sit around making sure trillions of animals in the world stay strictly with their own species.

[Jake]

LOL, Scoonie is by far the biggest joke on the forum.

I don't know if he's the biggest but he's up there.

No, he's shown himself to be an even bigger hack than donny. He's #1.

[Jake]

The only WMD in Iraq are the ones we use.  White Phosphorus...

First, are you serious? Second, do you know what WP is? Third, WTF?