2012 Election Game: Campaign Thread

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Mrs. Bachmann responds:

"Of course the American public needs to know what the Federal Reserve is doing with its money. The Federal Reserve needs to be audited immediately: we can't have all this big government running around and poking its nose in America's business! America is not the government, America is the people, and the government and ordinary people, like our small businesses, are two diametrically opposed things."

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Michele Bachmann Campaign Schedule 10/11 - 10/16

10/11:
Barnstorming throughout Iowa, meeting with state party leaders

10/12:
Barnstorming throughout Iowa

10/13:
Barnstorming, fundraiser with people who give me MONEY

10/14:
New wave of radio ads throughout Iowa (seeing a theme?), barnstorming

10/15:
Barnstorming, continuing ad blanket, posing for photo ops with corn dogs and children who got vaccinated and now have cancer/AIDS/autism/dysentery/the common cold

10/16:
On the 5th day, Michele rested

Debate Answer:

"Well, I think the Chinese government can serve as a model for the US. Look at how many social programs they've cut. They don't have a socialist Obama welfare state, they don't have food stamps, they don't have TANF or anything. China is a good model of a society without a safety net. However, their government is being too aggressive in its policy towards other nations. They are manipulating their currency, blinding US satellites with their lasers, and hacking into the computers of those who fight for freedom around the globe and in China, and so we should use all means necessary to stop them from doing so."

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Congresswoman Bachmann regrets her absence from the campaign trail last week. She was volunteering at a support camp for children who had gotten autism from vaccines.

Michele Bachmann Campaign Schedule, 10/17 - 10/24

10/17
Barnstorming throughout Iowa, fundraising with party leaders
Major rally in Ames, Iowa

10/18
Barnstorming throughout Iowa

10/19
Barnstorming throughout Iowa, eating corn dogs

10/20
Being confused about Iowa, barnstorming throughout Illinois

10/21
Returning to and barnstorming throughout Iowa
Another major rally in Des Moines

10/22
Barnstorming throughout Iowa
Finalizing Iowa campaign strategy
Iowa

10/23
Barnstorming throughout Iowa, eating more corn dogs
Corn dogs are delicious! It's so great that you Iowans have your own ethnic cuisine!

10/24
On the seventh day, God rested

Debate Answer:

"I believe the unconstitutional law known as Obamacare should be repealed immediately. It has already killed millions of elderly Americans by forcing them onto government death panels and making them get vaccinated. Now, my opponents, namely Governor Romney, support this evil socialism, and the Governor even did it when he was governor of liberal Massachusetts. There is literally nothing good about this unconstitutional, immoral, socialist government takeover of health care and there is literally nothing good about those who have supported it, currently support it, or will support it in the future!"

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Michele Bachmann Campaign Schedule: 10/24 - 10/30

10/24:
Supporting our troops in Ames
Burning Obama in effigy
Taking it to the haters in Des Moines

10/25:
Eating corn dogs
Barnstorming throughout Iowa
Rally with Rep. Louis Gohmert (R-TX) in Cedar Rapids

10/26:
Praying to Jesus!
Doing some hip thing with the 18-24 crowd
Exposing scandal within Romney campaign

10/27:
Barnstorming throughout Minnesota
Looking at a map and flying back across the border
Rally in Ames

10/28:
Kidnapping world's greatest scientists to work on a weather-controlling machine
Rally in Cedar Rapids with Rep. Allen West (R-FL) touting experience with drought relief

10/29:
Barnstorming throughout Iowa
Dance lessons with Marcus
Dance lessons with Louis Gohmert

10/30:
On the seventh day, God rested.

Debate answer to come later

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Michele Bachmann Debate Answer

"Well, John, obviously Israel is the 2nd-greatest nation on the Lord Jesus's green Earth, so it shoud take priority over all foreign nations when it comes to foreign aid and war and stuff. On the issue of Palestine, it must die for Israel to live. Palestinians are killing and murdering ordinary Israelis and it has to stop. If you elect me, Michele Bachmann, President of the United States, I will do everything in my power to stop the evil Palestinian Muslims from taking over any more Israeli land than they already have, and I will make sure the land they have is recognized as part of the state of Israel. If push comes to shove, I may be forced to use nuclear weapons to protect the right of the people of Israel to a Jewish state."