Update XVI: Sidejackin' it in the Train Room.

[Simfan34]

bushie weve been over this over and over.

you are never going to lose a significant amount of weight without a complete lifestyle change.

[Simfan34]

Ew, sweet potatoes (fake yam). Also, don't forget onions and pickles.

[Simfan34]

I really hope this goes well. I mean, how long was he working for ONG?

[Simfan34]

You know what guys, I don't have to listen to this crap anymore.  I'm going back to politics for a while.

I tell you what, Rockefeller -- since you've got such a great head on your shoulders, show us all how it's done. I mean, that's what you've been doing for years, right? Teaching each and every one of us here how to be successful. You've conquered obesity, pull in six figures a year, landed your dream girl and set your family on a path toward comfortable retirement. Right? RIGHT?

Jeff, we're the ones who put up with crap. Your crap. Your ridiculous mockery of a normal life. And some of us put time and effort into legitimately trying to help your worthless butt, only to have our advice rejected over and over again because you think you're smarter than everyone in the room. How's that working out for you?

You actually had a reasonable plan -- to keep your current job while looking for a new one, but for some reason, you've given up YET AGAIN. And doing so makes no sense. It's like you pick the absolute most-illogical path forward and take it in spite of the common sense and experience of others screaming otherwise.

Since you're a hotshot salesman now and hotshot salesmen like to take risks, I'll make you a bet, Jeff. I'm employed more than full time, since I'm on a corporate executive team. I'm in the middle of a move and am trying to manage the sale of a house. I have a long-term relationship, family and friends that I try to put above my own leisure time. In other words, I have a life.

I'll keep doing that life, and also apply for entry level jobs in Tulsa. S[hit] jobs like entry-level accounting and things like that. CADD jobs, even. I'm totally not qualified. I don't even live there, so there's no way I could do an on-site interview. Hell, I can't even get back to potential employers in a reasonable amount of time, because of the whole managing-a-life thing.

So here's the bet -- you keep your job now and do what you told us you'd do: apply for other things. And if you find something and land a better spot before I do, I'll buy you a month's worth of personal training / nutritional guidance / life coaching ... whatever we determine is best and most-achievable to you.

If I land a job in Tulsa before you, then you never post another inane and self-deluded rambling on this or any other site again. Because it's too goddamn frustrating when some of us have legitimately tried to help you to repeatedly see the same cycle of failure.

You know you're doing the wrong thing, and yet you pat yourself on the back for it.

[Simfan34]

My plans are really starting to take shape with the notion of being single for life.

What?! A confirmed bachelor? Are you gay?

[Simfan34]

Won't people in Oklahoma think bushie is...you know...if he doesn't get married?

A pedophile?  Well yes, but we've already told him about that mustache.

I meant a gay. I assume most people think something is wrong with you if you're over 22 and single in Oklahoma.

Southerners I've met in the Navy are stunned when they find out I'm a single 26.  Bushie is waaaaaaaaaay past that.  The pestering from his peers and family must be indescribable.

I mean I'm sure they look at him and understand why....

[Simfan34]

Tedium is good. Now let's all go home.

[Simfan34]

Fascinating, water weight can account for your weight gain, but not your loss...

[Simfan34]

Doubtful.  I haven't briefly relaxed in over a week.

TMI

[Simfan34]

Doubtful.  I haven't briefly relaxed in over a week.

TMI

[Simfan34]

God is so very good!!

Actually, if I were you, I would, at the very least, have a nagging suspicion that God didn't like me very much. Because this appears to have come out of the blue. You appeared to be making progress and as far as we knew you weren't making many mistakes. I don't know what to make of this.

[Simfan34]

Filet mignon should be eaten with a sauce, ideally a pan sauce or a Bearnaise or something. But of course not BBQ sauce, that's disgusting.

You must be confused. How on earth did a filet mignon get into the Update?

[Simfan34]

A 79 is a C+.