Is a 60 year old who marries a 30 year old a creep? (user search)
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  Is a 60 year old who marries a 30 year old a creep? (search mode)
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Poll
Question: well? (presume both people involved are equally willing)
#1
Yes
 
#2
No
 
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Total Voters: 69

Author Topic: Is a 60 year old who marries a 30 year old a creep?  (Read 1373 times)
LBJer
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« on: May 03, 2024, 01:00:28 PM »

No.  Consenting adults have a right to do as they please.  People that say that a person who marries someone half their age is a "creep" are, I think, actually jealous.  Jealousy often disguises itself as morality in personal matters.
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LBJer
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« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2024, 11:45:46 PM »

If she were in her early/mid-20s, it would be a different story

If a woman in her early to mid 20s can join the military, it's ridiculous to think she can't make her own decisions concerning marrying someone of any age. 
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LBJer
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« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2024, 10:05:25 AM »
« Edited: May 04, 2024, 10:08:26 AM by LBJer »

At the age of 89, the pianist Mieczyslaw Horszowski (1892-1993) married a woman about 40 years younger than himself.  The marriage lasted until his death at 100.  Horszowski's last concert took place on Halloween 1991, when he was 99.  

Here's a concert he gave at Carnegie Hall on April 23, 1990:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWEpQdsCiHk&t=258s
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LBJer
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Posts: 1,649
« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2024, 09:31:13 PM »

People that say that a person who marries someone half their age is a "creep" are, I think, actually jealous.  Jealousy often disguises itself as morality in personal matters.
Lol. Not surprising that a take this out of touch would come from you.

Reported.
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LBJer
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Posts: 1,649
« Reply #4 on: May 12, 2024, 12:11:45 AM »


To put this in historical perspective, John Tyler was 30 years older than his wife. His first child (from a previous marriage) was older than Tyler's second wife was, and Tyler's youngest child was born when he was seventy, making him 45 years younger than Tyler's oldest child. See how perverted that is?

(As an addendum to the Tyler story, he was born in 1790, and due to how disgustingly old both he and his son were when their children were born, he still has a living grandchild. Bletch.)

Sorry, I don't see how a man fathering a child later in life is either "perverted" or "disgusting."  Many might say: "Good for him!"  I find it pretty awesome that the lives of only three generations of men in the same family could extend over almost the entire history of the U.S. as an independent nation.

There was a man who was a slave, and escaped and fought in the Union army during the Civil War.  He had a son who died in 2015,  during Obama's presidency.  Imagine--the son of a slave living to see the first African American president!  Inspiring beyond measure. 
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LBJer
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Posts: 1,649
« Reply #5 on: May 12, 2024, 12:32:45 AM »

To put this in historical perspective, John Tyler was 30 years older than his wife. His first child (from a previous marriage) was older than Tyler's second wife was, and Tyler's youngest child was born when he was seventy, making him 45 years younger than Tyler's oldest child. See how perverted that is?

(As an addendum to the Tyler story, he was born in 1790, and due to how disgustingly old both he and his son were when their children were born, he still has a living grandchild. Bletch.)

Sorry, I don't see how a man fathering a child later in life is either "perverted" or "disgusting."  Many might say: "Good for him!"  I find it pretty awesome that the lives of only three generations of men in the same family could extend over almost the entire history of the U.S. as an independent nation.

There was a man who was a slave, and escaped and fought in the Union army during the Civil War.  He had a son who died in 2015,  during Obama's presidency.  Imagine--the son of a slave living to see the first African American president!  Inspiring beyond measure. 

Somehow, inspiring and perverted aren't mutually exclusive in this case, at least not in my eyes. Doing some quick mental math, it means he was at least 75 when his son was born (assuming the son lived a full century and his father was just 20 at the time of the war). That doesn't feel right at all.


Just because something feels right or wrong doesn't mean it really is.  Slavery felt right to many people at one time, and racial equality "perverse."
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LBJer
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Posts: 1,649
« Reply #6 on: May 12, 2024, 01:03:41 AM »

To put this in historical perspective, John Tyler was 30 years older than his wife. His first child (from a previous marriage) was older than Tyler's second wife was, and Tyler's youngest child was born when he was seventy, making him 45 years younger than Tyler's oldest child. See how perverted that is?

(As an addendum to the Tyler story, he was born in 1790, and due to how disgustingly old both he and his son were when their children were born, he still has a living grandchild. Bletch.)

Sorry, I don't see how a man fathering a child later in life is either "perverted" or "disgusting."  Many might say: "Good for him!"  I find it pretty awesome that the lives of only three generations of men in the same family could extend over almost the entire history of the U.S. as an independent nation.

There was a man who was a slave, and escaped and fought in the Union army during the Civil War.  He had a son who died in 2015,  during Obama's presidency.  Imagine--the son of a slave living to see the first African American president!  Inspiring beyond measure. 

Somehow, inspiring and perverted aren't mutually exclusive in this case, at least not in my eyes. Doing some quick mental math, it means he was at least 75 when his son was born (assuming the son lived a full century and his father was just 20 at the time of the war). That doesn't feel right at all.


Just because something feels right or wrong doesn't mean it really is.  Slavery felt right to many people at one time, and racial equality "perverse."

Your point is actually a valid one, but still, it feels wrong to me to compare slavery with marrying someone with a 30 year age gap and/or having a child in your seventies.

You seem to be basing everything on feelings here and nothing on logic.  If you're going to criticize other people's behavior as perverse, immoral, etc., you should be able to give at least some sort of logical underpinning for your position. 
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LBJer
Jr. Member
***
Posts: 1,649
« Reply #7 on: May 12, 2024, 07:24:05 PM »

To put this in historical perspective, John Tyler was 30 years older than his wife. His first child (from a previous marriage) was older than Tyler's second wife was, and Tyler's youngest child was born when he was seventy, making him 45 years younger than Tyler's oldest child. See how perverted that is?

(As an addendum to the Tyler story, he was born in 1790, and due to how disgustingly old both he and his son were when their children were born, he still has a living grandchild. Bletch.)

Sorry, I don't see how a man fathering a child later in life is either "perverted" or "disgusting."  Many might say: "Good for him!"  I find it pretty awesome that the lives of only three generations of men in the same family could extend over almost the entire history of the U.S. as an independent nation.

There was a man who was a slave, and escaped and fought in the Union army during the Civil War.  He had a son who died in 2015,  during Obama's presidency.  Imagine--the son of a slave living to see the first African American president!  Inspiring beyond measure. 

Somehow, inspiring and perverted aren't mutually exclusive in this case, at least not in my eyes. Doing some quick mental math, it means he was at least 75 when his son was born (assuming the son lived a full century and his father was just 20 at the time of the war). That doesn't feel right at all.


Just because something feels right or wrong doesn't mean it really is.  Slavery felt right to many people at one time, and racial equality "perverse."

Your point is actually a valid one, but still, it feels wrong to me to compare slavery with marrying someone with a 30 year age gap and/or having a child in your seventies.

You seem to be basing everything on feelings here and nothing on logic.  If you're going to criticize other people's behavior as perverse, immoral, etc., you should be able to give at least some sort of logical underpinning for your position. 
There are many logical reasons to question the healthiness of relationships with an age gap as severe as 30 to 60. Massive difference in maturity, a strong power gap born from both the maturity/experience gap and often financial/status gaps, which make many of the foundations of a healthy relationship(eg things in common, an ability to relate to one another, being able to act as equals) much harder to establish.

But that's not the same as saying the older person is a "creep."  And while others may "question" any relationship all they want in terms of their private opinions, it's not their place to tell other consenting adults what to do.  Plenty of marriages and relationships where both partners are roughly the same age turn out poorly. 
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