Praying to the saints

[Bono]

http://triablogue.blogspot.com/2009/07/praying-to-saints.html

 Praying to the saints

One of the problems with praying to the saints is that you’re praying to saints who don’t believe in praying to saints. You see, there are no Catholic saints in heaven. All the heavenly saints are Protestant.

This doesn’t mean no Catholics ever make it to heaven. But once they reach heaven, they realize the error of their ways and begin to memorize the Westminster Shorter Catechism.

You see, heaven is, among other things, a seminary. A Protestant seminary. Christians often arrive in heaven with certain erroneous beliefs. And heaven is the perfect corrective for their lingering theological errors.

So there’s no point praying to the saints–since the saints disapprove of prayers to the saints. Even if they could hear you, they wouldn’t answer you. It’s contrary to their theology.

For example, to keep his inbox manageable, St. Jude has a spam filter to divert all messages with a terrestrial IP address to a junk mailbox.

[Bono]

You see, there are no CatholicProtestant saints in heaven. All the heavenly saints are ProtestantCatholic.

This doesn’t mean no Catholics ever make it to heaven. But once they reach heaven, they realize the error of their ways and begin to memorize the Westminster Shorter Catechism.

You see, heaven is, among other things, a seminary. A ProtestantCatholic seminary. Christians often arrive in heaven with certain erroneous beliefs. And heaven is the perfect corrective for their lingering theological errors.

Not that I believe any of the above changes I made, but the argument is just as substantial as the original - in other words, it isn't at all substantial.

That would be because this isn't an argument, it's a lighthearted humorous ditty.