I think talking to any gay person you can find out whether it was a "choice" for them. MODU when did you "choose" to like girls over boys?
I chose to like girls, and rather late in life (if you want to consider your 20s late in life in relationship to this issue) if you want to know the truth. Before then, my feelings towards boys and girls were the same (that being, they were only friends). I do recall two of my guy friends "getting it on" once back in 3rd grade, but it was out of experimentation and mimicking what they had seen in a magazine. I highly doubt they actually had any physical attraction to one another at that stage in their lives (being pre-puberty and all). As far as talking to gay individuals, my friends are split. Some of them say they've always been attracted to the same sex while others say it was their choice, except for one, who said she did it out of rebellion and ended up falling in love.
From what you're saying it seems you 'acted upon' rather than chose. I know gay men who were broadly asexual until their mid 20's when they chose to act upon feelings they had. I also know some who say they 'chose' simply to seem more in control and assertive about their sexuality. When pressed they admit there was no real choice and there was no alternative. There is a big difference from choosing to be and choosing to act. As for the physical aspect, I have yet to meet anyone who said they consciously chose to become sexually aroused by men exclusively. And this isn't necessarily a penis driven thing - people find attraction in all parts of the human body, from the smile to the torso, to the legs. Even scent. I knew I was gay long before I saw or was interested in what men had between their legs it was the face, or the smile, or the way they acted that caused a mental and physical reaction.
