My gran died. Mixed emotions.

[afleitch]

So my grandmother died. It was peaceful and she was suffering from worsening dementia so I am relieved that she’s gone now rather than later.

My grandmother was a woman of little initiative. She never tried at anything and had very little by way of accomplishment other than her two children, one a spoiled and self obsessed woman who continued to leech of her parents well into adulthood and the other, thankfully was my dad. She was the support act to a rather brutal husband who had little time for his son. It was only when she took ill that my grandfather realised how much he relief on him and on how much she enabled him. It left him, in these last few years exposed, vulnerable and perhaps just a little sorry.

My dad left home very young and forged his own path marrying my mum in 1975. My mum was not welcomed into the family. She was Catholic which was difficult for the dour Presbyterian family to accept. The sour reception she received from my grandmother continued, even though my mum went out of her way to be both nice and genuine with her. The family’s general contempt for my dad and disinterest in my mum continued when we arrived. My mum and dad gave them four grandchildren who like most grandchildren tried everything to appease them. However she showed little interest in us. The fact that my brother was the first in our family to make it to university was not a cause for celebration. Hard work and hard graft meant nothing to them. My aunt and her children were spoiled with foreign holidays and gifts and suprises. My dad got multi-packs of cigarettes.

I was scared of my gran. She hardly looked at me, or asked me how I was. When I was finished school for the day, I was told to go to my nana (my mum’s mum who is an amazing lady) or go to my gran. Rather than go to my gran’s I would sit in the back garden by myself. Sometimes for an hour. The times I did go, I would do my homework. I would occasionally get something to drink. Nothing much was said. My cousins were feted by my gran and grampa, even spoiled. My family accepted it and never felt worse for it and things got better when I became old enough to realise not being liked wasn’t my fault.

I will be at the funeral for my dad’s sake. He is the one good thing that came of her.

[afleitch]

The funeral was today. It was a very nice service.

I didn't cry at the service, though seeing my dad upset and seeing my wonderful Nana embracing my Grampa was emotional.

One thing I learned about my gran was the life she had when she was young. Her father built and ran John Maclachlans Store just around the corner from where I used to live. My own nana used to go to get sweets there as a little girl. She then worked in various department stores as a girl and when she married my grampa, he built the house they lived in.

I also found out she survived this;



The Graftons Store fire in 1949. She was rescued by a fireman but 13 other girls died.

Quite an interesting life. Overall it was a good day.