Unfortunately, mothers are an international affair and apple pie originated in England.
1. Mothers may be international, but we got them right - pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen!
2. F**k England, it's ours now. Don't you remember hearing about the Great Apple War of 1809? You know, the war in which Johnny Appleseed lead the 18th Bear Calvary Corps to victory against the Emperor of England and his army of atheist Jews, securing once and for all the rights to apple pie for the United States. It's in all the elementary school textbooks here in the South. Anyways, long story short it's ours now, and there's not a goddamn thing England can do about it.
