One Gospel, the Book of Matthew. A great many of it I didn't understand, so I've put it off.
Although some of the "stories" -- I mean, compact verses that describe one particular instance in Jewish history, not the (incredibly rude) KEmperor/opebo slur -- are interesting unto themselves. E.g. The degenerate and apostatic priest Balaam and his Talking Ass, which was absolutely unlike the Children's Bible version.
Why are you comparing me to opebo?
I've read Genesis, and it IS very fantastical, whether you believe it or not - seems to me KEmperor just can't get himself into books that are too far off from the realism he's used to. And let's be fair here - opebo wouldn't even bother making an attempt to read the Bible.