Sexual abuse education for kindergartners?

[Gustaf]

To be honest, I'm kind of skeptic.

First off, I'm not convinced the problem with child molestation is that the kids don't realize that it is inappropriate or wrong in some way.

Secondly, I think kids today are over-sexualized as it is.

Thirdly, I suspect you run the risk of having even more false accusations of child molestation if you explicitly tell kids about it.

[Gustaf]

in a few years we'll be seeing the false accusations shoot through the roof.

I suspect you run the risk of having even more false accusations of child molestation

This thought occurred to me as well.  Sort of a 21st-century version of what the village of Salem went through in 1692. 

Well, it happened in Norway something like 10 or 20 years ago. In a village almost all the men ended up being accused of pedophilia. Eventually it turned out that many of those accusations had been fabricated.

[Gustaf]

if a parent is actually abusing their child, obviously they'll opt out.

This seems likely.

It's not even sex ed, it's about sexual abuse.

This is accurate.

Those two observations further support the case that this program is a waste of taxpayer money and valuable class time.  First, those most likely to need the counseling are the least likely to receive it, for the logistical reasons you mention.  Second, it's not even the sort of useful how-to-put-a-condom-on-a-banana or how to avoid STD and pregnancy that would be useful.  The actual sex-ed, which I got in the 9th grade, might be useful for my son, though not in kindergarten.  (Admittedly, I didn't actually get properly laid till the 10th grade, and even with all the pro-social messages on television, even with all the AIDS scare that existed in the mid-80s, and even with all the instruction in school, I didn't use a rubber.  So, on some level I question even the usefulness of that.  But that's another issue, and it wasn't my goal to go into that issue in this thread.)

I know most parents go over it with their children, but some don't,

Just as some parents allow their children to eat shellfish, some don't.  some parents allow their children to watch television, some don't.  All are prerogatives of the parents, or at least that's my read of how the society functions.  I have never told my son that babies come from storks or anything silly like that.  I've talked to him about how animals evolve and how they go extinct, insomuch as I understand it, and at a level that he can understand it.  And I have tried to explain, more or less, sexual reproduction using flowers as tangible examples, accessible to someone his age, and even taking him into the field and showing him how the hapless bees frantically hump the clever orchids that they think are female bees, thereby doing most of the hard work.  He knows Mama and Daddy did something physical to make him, and he understands that mama has an egg and daddy has a seed.  (We prefer the terms egg and seed at this level.)  But the specifics can wait a few years. 

napping?

As an aside, it was to our great relief that we learned that neither the state of Iowa nor Cedar Falls Public Schools requires naps in kindergarten.  We fretted over that, since my son hates naps.  He started at a Montessori system preschool at the age of 3, and they required naps, and it was always traumatic for him.  We were happy to learn that his public kindergarten doesn't do that.

I've never done it, or maybe I don't remember.

Neither have I.  Then again, I was never an altar boy, so I really didn't need the training. 

I did Montessori from the age of 4 until I turned 16. But I can't recall ever being forced to take a nap during that time.

[Gustaf]

The only argument we ever got into with his school was about a tomato.  They were going over "fruits and vegetables" one day, Now, he normally gets perfect scores in all the academic stuff, and is by far the best reader in his class.  His numeracy is the best as well.  We pressure him hard in that way, and I intend for his math, reading, geography, and science scores to remain at the top of the class.  (His conduct is often unsatisfactory, I'll admit, and his manners and social skills need some work, but the academic stuff is going swimmingly.)

Anyway, so he had been taught that a tomato, like a jalapeño and an apple and a grape, is a fruit.  It is the swollen ovary of an angiosperm, or flowering plant.  As for vegetables, well we hadn't really used that word much about the house, since it's a redundant and unnecessary term.  Anything that gets called a "vegetable" can be classified as either a fruit,a shoot,or a root.  And, more generally, the term "vegetable" can be applied to any part of any plant, especially to distinguish plants from either animals or minerals.  Still, I'm aware that the confusing phrase "fruits and vegetables" exists in nutritional contexts.  So one day he gets a problem wrong.  Apparently, they had been instructed to put a circle around the fruits and an X on the "vegetables."  Of course he put a circle around the tomato.  And he got the question wrong.  At the end of the week, when his papers came home, I noticed that he had a 128 out of 129 grade for the week.  What's this?  This has never happened before!  "How the hell did you get a 128 out of 129?" I demanded, preparing to go into a diatribe about the importance of good grades. He showed me his paper and proceeded to explain the problem.  So we discussed it a bit and I told him I'd pay his teacher a little visit on Monday.

On Monday I showed up at her room about 20 minutes before class started to find out what the problem was.  I explained that my son was well aware of the definition of a fruit.  And that a tomato is, by definition, a fruit.  She then began to give me this long story about how scientific terminology sometimes contradicts everyday use and refers me to a U.S. Supreme Court case, Nix v. Hedden, 149 U.S. 304 (1893), in which it was decided that, for the purposes of customs regulations, a tomato is classified as a "vegetable."  Apparently in that decision the court recognized that a tomato was, by definition, a fruit, but that with respect to New York local tax laws, it would not be taxed at the lower "fruit" rate but rather at the higher "vegetable" rate.  Bollocks!  The supreme court often makes poor decisions, I explained.  I asked her, "Do you think Plessy v. Ferguson--a decision rendered about the same time as Nix v. Hedden, and therefore by the same court--was a sound decision?  A future supreme court would find it to be a poor decision.  What's the meaning of all this?"  She agreed that the supreme court often made decisions with which she disagrees but that it wasn't really germane to our discussion.  In the end, she explained that she has certain materials that come, state-mandated, and she must teach them.  It's a contractual obligation.  Take it up with your legislator.

Okay, I'll admit that I haven't followed that one up with my state legislator.  But I did explain to the boy all about fruits and flowering plants and such.  And, exploited the teaching moment.  There will be other occasions when the official line of the school differs from my interpretation, or from his mother's.  Actually, I knew that would happen, but I'd imagined that it would be in a history or social studies class.  Anyway, I took the time to suggest that it was important to remember what you're taught and be able to repeat it for the purposes of exams.  Your own understanding of the universe need not be diminished by the school, and in fact it is generally enhanced, but when it happens that something is falsely stated, or stated with an interpretation that differs from your own, you must decide whether it is appropriate to do battle.  In this case, I think it is a minor point, an it would be better to let the teacher follow Nix v. Hedden and continue making the highest grades in the class. If you pick this battle, I'll support you.  100%.  But choose your battles wisely.   A little controversy is good for the brain, but too much and you'll get a bad reputation among the faculty in your school.  In any case, if your teachers ever tell you anything that contradicts something your parents have said--and they will, from time to time!--then discuss these matters with your parents before disrupting class over it.

I fell in love with this post.